Private Gold: The Collector




150 Mins.

DIRECTOR: Pierre Woodman


THEMES: Story, Cops, Thieves, Anal Sex.

CONDOMS: Some Noted


STARS: James Brossman, Magdalena, Nicole, Bob Terminator, Suzan Nielsen, Alain Deloin, Mercedes, Phillippe Dean, Gabriella, Philippe Soine, Jade, Vincent, Elle Angelis, Laslo, Bagheera, Marc Hansen, Colette, Bruno SX.


Don’t let the title fool you, this is not a compilation tape, not a collection of Woodman’s greatest hits. This is a full blown Private feature, directed by Pierre and starring a whole host of fine Euro-babes. It’s some sort of a police drama about a thief or something. That’s probably more about the story than any of you want to know at this point. After all, it’s Private, we know the women will be hot, they will all take it in the ass and at some point, there will be an attempt at a story. From the opening Bond-esque theme music, you can tell Woodman wants to mix some cool action in to this film, which is fine with me. It will give me something to write in between the DPs and monster facials.

Yves, our hero, is a police detective with a smooth rap for the ladies. He comes upon super sexy Bagheera and talks her into his car, promising to show her the sights. He does show her one nice spot, but then it’s time for sex on the hood of his Mercedes. After getting a taste of her shaved, hot-chocolate slit, Yves leans back to enjoy a sexy, slow blowjob. Bagheera has a gorgeous face and her lips stretch tightly around his big cock. Bending her over the front of his car, Yves fills her with cock. Great contrast here as his pale pole stuffs her dark, smooth pussy. I like watching this woman ride, mostly because she has a fantastic ass and moves it up and down at light speed, as if trying to fry the guy’s unit with intense pussy friction. Moving to the ground, she shakes that sexy ass on all fours, inviting him to fuck her tight butthole raw. Back to the car, she puts his cock in her mouth and slowly milks it with her hand until he fires a very healthy load onto her chest and face. Bagheera puts her mouth back on it and sucks every drop from him. Damn, she’s fucking hot.

We move to a lovely house, late at night, where a couple keep busy fucking each other silly. The lighting is a little sketchy and the soft romantic music screams out couples scene, but there is nothing soft-core about the way this pretty brunette sucks cock. She treats his dick like it’s a big candy stick, slurping and stroking it into her warm mouth. He puts the lingerie clad lovely on all fours and grabs her more than ample hips for leverage. Nice spooning here if you like full, stocking clad thighs. On her back, the woman pulls those thighs way back to allow him to deeply penetrate her tight asshole. This woman takes it in the ass rather hard and never misses a beat. Add to that a big splash of jizz on her face and in her mouth that gets gulped down until his cock is clean, and you have a very hot, if dimly lit, scene. In the glow of post coital bliss, the couple discovers that their jewelry and art have been swiped by a thief who calls himself The Collector. The chase, as they say, is on.

While the police scramble to find the Collector, they track down an informant named Vincent. They shake him down in front of two of his working girls. They get a charge from watching the bully get his. One of the cops sticks around to interrogate the two women and you know what that means. These are not raving beauties, but the petite Asian girl is pretty cute and her friend is quite eager. She takes quite a ride, but just lacks some of the super heat that her fellow cast members have. (Also, there is a condom here for those of you who care.) Jade is more my speed and fucks with every bit as much energy. Some anal for the brunette and then a nice hand job finish by Jade close out a passable scene.

The trail leads to a possibly dirty, but definitely beautiful art gallery owner, Magdalena. We follow her to a shady art trader who happens to be blind. He asks his secretary, to describe the blonde. This of course leads to them putting on a show for him. Sure, he can’t see them, but we can. Both women are stunning in their lingerie and Magdalena is particularly fetching. He likes what he hears and invites his secretary over to suck his throbbing cock. Mag is a picture of porn perfection as she rubs her shaved slit, watching the action. Of course, I keep waiting for her to jump into the action. She does finally let the secretary lick her pussy while the boss does her in the ass, but that’s all we see of lovely Magdalena. She does jerk the guy off into the secretary’s face, but I do hope to see more of the stunning blonde later.

One of the cops has a meeting with Magdalena and is hoping she will lead him to the Collector. He gets nowhere, but she is clearly shaken. She hurries home for a meeting with her connection. The police are watching from a van outside, but he is calm, insisting that if Magdalena would just suck his cock, she would feel much better. I sure feel a whole lot better watching her swallow his hard shaft. In fact, the only slight problem I had with this blowjob is that it wasn’t long enough. In typical Woodman fashion, she leaves her stockings and bra on as he fills her sweet pussy with hard dick. Nice looking doggy from this wonderful example of human genetics gone terribly right. As he strokes his dick near her face, you just know he’s prepping to pop her pooper and what a fine ass she has. Great close ups, showing off a pretty pussy and super tight anus as she rides RC. Taking his cock in her hand, Magdalena pumps his prick right into her lovely mouth. Not much of it makes it to her face, but watching her gulp it down more than makes up for that.

Out in the van, the long day of waiting has taken its toll on the cops. The short haired blonde female cop (Suzan Nielsen) wraps her lips around her partner’s night stick and won’t stop until he is throbbing in her mouth, ready to use it for a cavity search. The lighting is rather sketchy here, taking away some of the heat, however, this woman is pretty cute and that’s what really matters, right? Not wanting to leave the other guy out, she happily takes him into her mouth while riding the first fellow. They probe her deep, even ramming her ass to make sure she isn’t carrying any contraband. While she is concentrating on taking the pair of cocks deep into her body, the two bad guys get away. She certainly enjoys the sperm on her face, so maybe it’s all worth it.

The cops are closing in and bring in Magdalene’s sexy secretary, Janette. Just about the time you think she is going to get a special interrogation, the guys let her go. (Damn plot.) Instead, they haul in a striking brunette gallery patron (Mercedes) and offer her a couple of hard cocks in exchange for her testimony. (Take that Sipowitz.) She happily accepts and is squatting between two hard rods faster than you can shout Miranda. Showing some very active hips, this woman knows how to grind on a cock. Those of you who like a hairier bush will love this woman. Though not a total bush beast, she has a thickly maned muff, that is on display as she takes it in the butt during some spooning. Her tits are more to my liking, good sized and totally God given. (And bouncing around during the energetic RCA.) The guys douse the big titted beauty with twin doses of love oil, covering her face and boobs with hot cream.

I honestly don’t want to give away the ending, but I can tell you we get one more, rather rushed sex scene. It’s on a hillside, overlooking town so it’s visually stunning. The woman isn’t hard on the eyes either, and is quite fetching in RCA with the wind whipping through her hair. She swallows his load, closing out the scene and the film, in fine style. I don’t know how I feel about the voice over. I am used to the little summaries from that sexy sounding chick. I guess it makes it easier to follow the story, but I have to admit it was distracting during the sex. Why dub moans? Now, what about the women? Magdalena is worth the price of admission. This blonde is so fucking hot she should light everyone’s fire. Bagheera is my second choice for hottest woman in the tape. Add Mercedes and the blonde cop and you have enough eye candy. Hot sex, nice locations and hot women. Woodman is still the best director not named John Leslie on the fucking planet.

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