Another Essay From Chandler


It’s time for another edition of some thoughts, notes, and insights on the world of porn from a true porn fan.

As an American with military ties, I have to say I’m excited to see that the Moonlite Bunny Ranch has offered up free sex to returning military members coming back from the desert. Free sex?!?! What the f…? And I’m stuck over here in Germany? Can I get a voucher on this? It has been reported that 13 men and 3 women have shown up to take advantage of the free time at the famous legal brothel. Considering some of the women I am stationed with… ok, let’s just leave it at that. The Ranch is also extending 50% discounts to any military member with a valid active duty I.D. Again, why do this when I’m in Germany? I will now go light myself on fire.

Speaking of brothels, escorts, and the like, I think it is a great thing that some of the biggest names in porn are practicing escorts. All of us who are fans of these great ladies can spend a couple of hours with some of our dream girls, if the dollars are there that is. Gauge, Michele Raven, Raylin, Jasmine St. Claire, and Bridgett Kerkove are just a few of the names that do this service for their fans. As I said, the prices are steep, but can you imagine being able to take Tom Byron, Bobby Vitale, or Lex’s place just once. I know that most of the girls in the business draw the line at dancing around the country, and don’t want to cross this line, and I respect that. But for the few girls who do, I say good on ya! And if you girls decide to give a special military discount, email me at

I did an interview for my weekly column (not dealing with porn, but life in general) with Jesse Jane, the new girl at Digital Playground. She told me that she is a big football fan. That immediately got me thinking, would you want to watch a football game with the likes of Jesse, Jenna, Aurora, Tera, or any other hot porn chick? How embarrassing would it be for a guy such as myself, a supposed football expert, to be shown up by Jesse in front of my group of friends? But I think it would be fun to at least watch a game with her. She is from Texas, so I am assuming she is a Cowboys fan, and being that I am a Browns fan, and with the new coach in Big D, could a surprise Super Bowl in a couple of years feature Cleveland against Dallas? If it does, I’m making the challenge now: Jesse against me, either money or sex on the line. Bring it on girl!

After reading through the latest porn news, I saw a contender for the “totally out of left field” news item of the year: Larry Wachowski, co-creator of The Matrix movies, is taking hormones in preparation for a sex change operation. My first thought was, “What? Huh?” Has celebrity gotten to the point where we care about who is getting sex change operation or not? I mean if Ron Jeremy decides to go female, I’m signaling the end of the world, but for Larry Wachowski, who really cares? Now, you are wondering what this has to do with porn, well… nothing.

I have a request for all the directors and film execs out there. Let’s see some lower-priced videos or DVD’s taking the premise of MTV’s “Cribs” and adapting to porn stars. I would pay some money to see the inside of some of my favorite stars’ houses. Join me in this crusade, let’s make it happen.

One more thing, I gave it already, but if you have any comments on this article, or the past one, email me at I would love to hear from people in the business, and especially other fans. Until then, enjoy the flicks.

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