Fantasy Football Week 5 Wrap Up: No One Wants to Write the Updates

Fantasy Football Week 5 Wrap Up: No One Wants to Write the Updates

All right guys (and girls) in the three below leagues. Consider this a “calling out.” I’ve done five of these updates and not one of you has stepped up. Come on. I’ll even let you only write the paragraph about the league you’re in. I’m handing you the keys and challenging every one of you.

Before I continue with the update, the usual disclaimer: We are always looking for eye candy and cheerleaders for our league. Send over a picture or two and I’ll post it along with links to your site, cam page or whatever. In fact, the link below to Streamate has plenty of cam models. This is an open request to any cam model who wants to be added to our fantasy football updates to send something in. League 1: It was a big bounce back week for the league’s top team as Rog’s Potatoes got back into the win column with a 119-92 victory over the Haze. (Boston, not Jenna.) With Adrian Peterson on a bye, Rog used big games from Phillip Rivers (23) and DeSean Jackson (21) to overcome to incredible week Haze’s two Cowboy players had (Jason Witten’s 20 and Dez Bryant’s 26). Astro doubled upon TDs & Beer, riding another amazing week from Peyton Manning (41) to move to 3-2 on the year. Cody kept up the momentum from last week, winning his second game of the year 84-70 over the Dy-Nasty. The game puts both teams at 2-3. The week’s closest match up was won by the Ginger Lynn Classics 74-71 over Sheldon’s ASSassins. The game was up in the air until Julio Jones scored 9 points on Monday to put Joe’s team over the top. Ed’s Kangaroos took down Bono with a 20 point win to put both teams at 3-2 and leave Rog as the only 1 loss squad for the year. After five weeks, parity is dominating this league like parodies are dominating the porn landscape. (Groan all you want people, until I get someone else to step up and write one of these I am going to pun to my heart’s content.) Rog has the only 4-1 team while only Sheldon sits at 1-4. The other eight teams are within one game of each other. With the halfway point of the regular season fast approaching things are still wide open. Perhaps some trades might make things interesting. League 2: Things were very tight this week as no game was decided by more than 5 points, two were within three and one came down to a single point. We also saw the last unbeaten team go down as Als’ Beach Stars fell to Bono’s squad despite the Peyton Manning explosion. Win’s by Tim’s Intimidators and Brian’s Team Yueng left the league with three teams tied at 4-1 and a battle looming for that fourth playoff spot down the road. Tim knocked down the Juicers with a 15 point win while Brian barely survived Natalie Dawn’s attempt to get abouve .500 with a 78-75 win. The closest game of the week saw Sheldon’s ASSassins (Same name, different league) use Jason Witten’s 20 points to secure a one point win over Crown N Coke. At 3-2 Sheldon currently holds the fourth playoff spot, but he sits just a half game ahead of Bono’s team and one game ahead of a trio of teams. Only Rog’s winless team (0-4-1) is far enough back to start thinking about next year already.

2008 League: It was a very big week for this league’s three best teams. Astro crushed Rog’s Asa Akira’s Perfection team by 45 points to remain unbeaten and atop the standings. The two 1 loss squads, Aly’s Powners and Bono’s Winter coasted to easy wins to keep pace with Astro. Both teams used the epic Cowboy/Bronco shootout to pile up points with Manning and Romo. Willie D and Nigel took care of business to stay in the hunt at 3-2. While those five teams are set up well for the second half, Rog’s team and the only winless team, Michaels Oneman Wolfpack seem to be locked in a battle to avoid rock bottom. Next up for Astro in his quest for perfection is the Memphis Madness. At the other end of the scale, Brian’s 1-4 team tries to avoid being the first team to lose to the Wolfpack in the week’s crap bowl matchup.

That’s all for this week. Anyone who feels like writing a wrap up of the three leagues is welcome to step in. We are also looking for any eye candy that ANYONE wants to send in. We will promote you, your site or anything. Just fire it over.

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