Rog Blog: Ultimate Hilarious Hate Mail Post

This one is too good to pass up

Just a little background before I get to the email. BoxinJax has been sending me these emails for quite some time. He has a serious hard-on for Erik Everhard, Steve Holmes and pretty much anyone else who doesn’t hate these guys. I’ve never seen him go anti-gay like this before, but something clearly bugs him about Erik.

At any rate, I’m going to go ahead and break in when I have something to reply. That way it won’t be quite as hard to follow.

BobinJax Writes:

Roger,

It has been sometime since I have contacted you. I have not visited your site since before the 2004 elections when you really started opining about your ill-informed political views. Quite frankly I do not read a porn reviewer to find out what his political views are. However, I do read your reviews on other sites.

Normally I don’t play grammar police, but I had to read this a few times. Wasn’t I offering views and not opining on my own? You were opining on my views in your emails and clearly you disagree. Of course disagreement with a view does not make it “ill-informed” to a thinking individual. At any rate, I find that line of thinking a little silly. The News/Blog section of the site is the only place where one will find such horribly dangerous (to you apparently) views. Anyway, you apparently don’t come to the site and find my reviews on one of the two retail sites that run both my reviews and interviews. Most people who disagree with me on politics, porn, soccer or whatever, just read and let it slide off of their back or just skip those rare news/blog posts that offend them. I believe I mentioned this to you way back when, but apparently you chose another route. Cool. Oh and for the record, 2004 is not when I began discussing Libertarian political views. I’ve been discussing them since I started. Sorry those are so offensive and dangerous to you.

In reviewing Down the Hatch #19 you said:”we have to wonder if Chico is developing a little man crush on James Deen.” What a strange thing to say when it appears you are totally and completely in love with Dr. Strangedick Erik Everhard.

Wow, thanks for reading so many of the reviews. To find that line you were reading carefully. That I’m in “love” with Erik is really funny. Of course the idea that there is a thin line between love and hate might tell us that there is something deeper coming from you. On the other hand it might also put me squarely in your lustful sights. Yikes. Erik is a much better target for your love/hate than I.

Ever since you first commented on him when you noticed him in a gangbang (he looks like an NFL player–Elway?) you have been singing his praises with no end.

It was actually Troy Aikman. (Would that qualify as ill-informed on your part.) If you think that comparison is praise…well you would have to assume that I think that highly of the former Dallas QB. I have said some nice things about Erik’s work over the years. Nothing wrong with that, unless of course you hate him with an irrational passion which of course is where we venture next.

There is hope since Canada now recognizes gay marriages maybe you can go further than the occasional BJ or fuck with the three-toned-misshaped-dicked Everhard. One must admit that when he first started he looked like a pretty choir boy with a great body and better ass. One can hardly blame you. It is 2006 and Grandpa Holmes and Christian X have both admitted to taking dick up their ass so it is OK to cop to your “man crush”.

While I have been quite vocal in my support for same-sex marriage, this isn’t a political rant is it? While I applaud the Canadians for this move, it will do me no good. I’m happily married to a woman and have no interest in Erik or any man, sexually. It’s just not my thing, sorry to disappoint you. Believe me, the “gay” insult just doesn’t work. It’s got no basis in truth and frankly if I were gay I wouldn’t be insulted by it. Perhaps you are jealous because you think I’ve had such encounters with Erik. (You certainly know the details of dick well enough, no?) I never thought of Erik as looking like a “choir boy” but then again I don’t think much about choir boys period. (Though it is the title of a really great novel.) As for his ass….you may admit that his was great, but I never really noticed. I have heard from many female readers over the years praising Erik’s looks so apparently you have something there.

It was apparent when you started your annual picks to give out more meaningless trophies. In each case you made sure that Everhard got his.

Does this also fall into the “ill-informed” category? Hard to tell if that first line is a complete sentence. “In each case” would seem to imply that my yearly picks have always given Everhard a trophy. By my count he has two. Brandon has one and what about Lex? (Unless of course you were checking out my site and only saw the last three awards. Perhaps that is the problem?) At any rate, what do you care who wins what you consider to be ‘meaningless’ trophies?

When you recently interviewed Mike John you not only spent a good part of the Q&A praising EE to him you even mentioned that you did the same in a yet unpublished interview you had with Steele. Mike John must have wondered when you were going to get to him. You even stated:’The last two days of interviews have been love affairs with Erik Everhard.”

I am flattered that you would read the interviews, though I’m not sure any other sites have it up. Maybe you’ve been peeking again. Either way I am glad you read, but wish you would read a little closer. In the Mike John interview, it is MIKE who does the praising of Erik’s abilities. In fact, it was that praise the caused me to mention Lex’s similar praise of Erik. Apparently both Mike and Lex feel that he is an amazing performer. Many people agree. You do not.

But I guess it is OK if you can help the Golden Boy. It is never too early to be campaigning to get EE his long coveted AVN award. You will do it yet.

Wow thanks. You really think I have some power. Maybe Erik’s performances will earn him the award. Given the fact that certain people at AVN hate me almost as much as you hate Erik, I doubt I have the kind of influence. Besides, I’m more interested with Mika Tan or Cindy Crawford getting their due. I realize that isn’t where your focus lies, but it’s higher in my list of things to care about.

In what was ” the straw…” the review of Innocent Until Proven Filthy you really oudid yourself. Even as good a writer as you could not come up with enough superlatives for you to be satisfied. You all but credited him with finding a cure for HIV-Aids and cancer.

I think there was almost a compliment on my writing skills there. Wow. I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about. I liked the movie, but reading it again, most of the praise is for the women. Granted, the guys Erik uses (including himself) don’t fuck things up like so many low-end meat slingers do these days. They don’t fill the air with man chatter or choke girls out. No one encourages the girls to fake gag. In short the guys do what they should do. Even the praise for Erik in this movie is generally reserved to his directing so maybe some examples would help.

In truth he is a performer who has done the same scene over and over even down to the same four words. His constant groans to make him the focus of the scene are very annoying. Facts you usually neglect to mention in your praises of the soon-to-be bald Strangedick. Anyone who will allow Holmes to be in the same zip code when he is filming his porn scenes does not deserve any trophies. It has been a few years since I have seen anything of his so perhaps he has changed. I have also read on ADT that you are petitioning to have him added to MT. Rushmore and have nominated him for the Nobel Prize. Remember Roger, EE is a whore nothing more.

Don’t all performers basically do the same scene over and over? Frankly he is less annoying to me than many other male performers. You differ and that is just a matter of opinion. Not sure what your deal with Holmes is either. The ADT thing is hilarious. No, I don’t want to add Erik to Mt. Rushmore. Aurora Snow though……I would campaign for her for sure.

However all is not lost. I have read recently that a new group will be formed called Everhard Anonymous. It is for the two of you suffering from this strange affliction. The twelve step programs are followed and it is felt that with two years of intense therapy you will soon be in recovery. I wish you well.. Your long silent acquainrtance–Bobinjax.

There are two of us? Pray tell who is the other who is worthy of such scorn and accusation? Or are you suggesting that Erik himself join EA? That would be a trick.

So there we go…..the most interesting piece of hate mail I’ve had in a while. I still have no clue what Erik did to this guy to become the object of his ever-growing obsession. Perhaps Erik fucked his sister (Or daughter since he’s over 60) maybe he was rude to him at a show or perhaps there is something else at work here. Either way, as a good friend said I just have to laugh.

Thanks for reading Bob. Your support is appreciated and your input is always welcome.