Celebrity Aprent-Ass
Celebrity Aprent-AssMOVIE TYPE: Parody
125 Mins.
Red Light District
DIRECTOR: Claudio & Shlmo Mortichay
THEMES: Parody, Celebrity Sex
2009
STARS: Kyle Stone, Nicki Hunter, John Strong, Misty Stone, Vannah Sterling, Kelly Skyline, Brooke Belle, Kylee Reese, Herschel Savage, Devlin Weed, Jack Vegas, Dex Magnum
REVIEW-
Donald Trump and other celebrity pains in the ass get skewered in this movie. Donald Hump and his two kids put a list of faux-celebs through a series of competitions to see who will win a job as his assistant. Who has what it takes to become the celebrity Aprent-ass? The introductions here are hilarious. Everyone from Gene Simmons to Octomom are represented in this nutty grab bag of attention whores. There are some funny dialog scenes and basic little role plays, but the overall movie is rather forgettable. I’m afraid this format just doesn’t work very well for porn parodies. No competitions, no boardroom backstabbing and no real time to do anything more than throw some cheesy dialog around and put porn folk in cheap costumes. There are some decent sex scenes and a few cheap laughs, but that isn’t quite enough to make it a top notch parody. Misty Stone and Nicki Hunter team up for a hot scene that closes the movie. More moments like this would have helped. Vannah Sterling‘s Cockomom is kind of funny, but I have seen her do better scenes. Kylee Reese is very cute and manages to make it through her scene with some energy. There are some good moments here, they are just too few and far between for me the recommend this movie to anyone other than a hardcore parody fan who just wants to see celebirities getting skewered. (And if you like that, watch TMSleaze instead.)
Brooke Belle & Jack Vegas
Second generation celeb Melissa Quivers shows that she can do more than just ride on mommy’s coattails when she hooks up with the hat wearing country star. Brookes boobs are as appealing as Melissa Rivers is annoying. It takes them a long time to get to the action, but once they do Brooke does her best to make sure that Jack won’t be competing very hard in the next challenge. It’s funny how a nice deep blowjob can make the outcome of a lame reality show a whole lot less meaningful. She sucks I pretty well and then gets into cowgirl to ride hard. I love the cowboy hat here. Nice touch as she rides his dick. Good looking doggy here, but the shots in mish and reverse cowgirl are better if only for their nice tight shots of her tight shaved pussy. He finally shoots all over his boot and watches while she licks it off.
Kylee Reese & Herschel Savage
Doing a pretty good Diceman, Herschel stops by to see Hump’s daughter. Using his complete lack of charm, he shows her that he is handy to have around. The tall blonde boss’ daughter spreads those ong legs and lets him manhandle her for a while. He eats her box and that’s about the only thing that can shut him up. Kylee is good with a dick in her mouth even if the BJ is over in the blind of an eye. Herschel does a pretty good job of staying in character and Kylee finds a way to fit in some good dirty talk as well. She spends much of the scene bent over looking back at the camera while he fucks her “rich girl” pussy. While she rides she spreads her ass open, showing us a hole that isn’t open for business today. Good energy and nice character play here, but the best thing about the scene is Kylee‘s ass. He holds her face near the table while he dribbles his load down onto the glass. This hot rich blonde licks it up and proves that she isn’t too good to taste seed.
Vannah Sterling & Devlin Weed
The sperm crazed Coctomom is always in search of new sperm. The crazy Rod Man is happy to provide. They get on a couch and she shows him her big ass and inviting pussy. He licks her for along time, giving her asshole a little extra attention. Working her mouth up and down on his cock, she gags on it a bit and responds well to his heavy hand. He bends her over and fucks her from behind hard enough to make that big ass wiggle. I’m pretty sure she plays Coctomom in another parody so I’ll have to check that out as well. She is quite vocal and enthiasiastic about the way his cock fills up her pussy and they both stay in character pretty well. Wisely he pulls out and shotoss all over her face. No point in adding to her brood by busting one up in that pussy.
Kelly Skyline & John Strong
Kelly is playing another reality TV breeder, Kate. She does so with a nice bitchy attitude and sexy pout. Jizz Simmons doesn’t like the noise and convince Kate that monogamy isn’t what she needs. What she needs is some used up rocker cock. Kate drops and rubs off while she sucks his cock. I just reviewed the Jon and Kate parody and Riley Evans really nailed Kate. Kelly isn’t bad and no one is going to complain about watching her suck a dick. She has a nice shaved pussy that fets fucked as well. This scene is pretty good, but I’m not sure that the parody fanasy angle is played up all that well. Just sit back and enjoy Kelly getting stuffed with her ban
gs covering half of her face. She does a really nice job in reverse cowgirl as well, pumping up and down until her pussy is ready to explode all over his dick. He ends up smearking his make up all over her face before shooting his load on her smile as well. Maybe if Kate keeps taking it in the mouth she will shut up and stop having so many kids.
Vannah Sterling & Nicki Hunter
For the team challenge, one member from each team has to take a ridiculously huge toy. Coctomom takes on Brandy Cockerick in this nearly impossible challenge. With their teammates screaming and cheering them on, these two sluts battle it out.
Misty Stone, Nicki Hunter & Kyle Stone
Hump hears a final argument from Cuntarossa. She thinks she is best and is finally willing to go the extra mile. Brandy is also willing to go the extra mile and Hump get a dirty blonde and a sexy sista fighting it out for his cock. They undress each other and kiss first, putting on a show for the man they hope to call boss. Hump puts his face in while they are in 69, licking Misty from behind while Nicki reaches back to suck his cock. When the girls get to double up on the blowjob, they talk shit while putting on a deep throat clinic. Great double BJ action here despite the horrible low angle shots. He puts Misty on her back and fucks that pretty pussy. This girl looks so good in any position that you can’t help but love watching her get banged. Nicki gets her turn while bent over the desk so that her big ass is pounding back against his hips. After they lick him clean, Nicki mounts the cock while Misty rides his face. Nicki is very good here. She doesn’t really have a character to say in, but her sexual energy is enough to keep up with Misty. (Who stays nicely in character.) Hump spills his eed all over Misty‘s thighs for Nicki to lick up. She does so and then shares the load with her new friend as part of a hot swapping kiss.
Bonus: Behind the Scenes, Cumshot Recap, Photo Gallery, Trailers
