XXX TRAINING

OVERALL RATING: 8+

81 Mins

DIRECTOR: Jonathan Morgan

Wicked

www.WickedPictures.com

THEMES: Comedy, Porn Stars

CONDOMS: Yes

2001

2/01

STARS: Serenity, Alexa, Kylie Ireland, Lola, Zana, Nina Ferrari, Lee Stone, Randy Spears, Kyle Stone, Ian Daniels

REVIEW:

I don’t know what to expect form this movie. On the one hand, it’s called an educational tape on the box. On the other hand, it’s directed by Jonathan Morgan so there is a better than average chance that it’s going to be a comedy. A comedic instructional video on how to make a porn movie? Isn’t that a bit redundant? Oh well, with hot chicks like Serenity, Lola and Kylie Ireland in the movie, it should be hot and if Morgan can poke some fun at his craft, then it should be fun to watch as well.

We open with something I love to see, Serenity with a dick in her mouth. She’s on her knees making Ian Daniels feel glad he’s not working the fryer at the local grease shack with her fast flicking tongue and skilled fingers. More of this would have been nice, but he has to get busy juicing up her tiny twat. For the first position, Serenity gets into one of her best, squat fucking Ian and showing off her strong thighs. Ian saves all of his energy for later in the scene when he drills his pretty co-star on the desk. Taking full advantage of her dancer training, Ian fucks her standing with one leg up on his shoulder. That’s a very hot looking position that few women in porn can pull of. Ian gets a chance to shoot on her face, but misses with most of his load, hitting her shoulder instead.

This kicks off our instructional movie. Serenity takes us on a tour behind the scenes in the world of porn. In case you were wondering if this was going to be tongue in cheek, the first interview is with a porn script writer. (Loch Ness, Big Foot, Florida Roadblocks, Santa Clause and Porn Script Writers have what in common? None of them actually exist.) Showing us how she researches her characters, Zana goes undercover as a pizza deliver girl. When Lee Stone comes up short in terms of cash, he offers to pay for his food in cock. First he gets down and licks her pussy. Zana looks a little bit like Alana Evans only not as cute. Lee gets behind the blonde and shoves every inch of that monster bone up inside his new friend. Give Zana credit for taking it all, even if she’s taking notes the whole time. Since this is porn, there has to be anal sex, which isn’t good for Zana since close up shots of her butt show some freaky stretch marks. I’ll give her credit for taking that thing I her butt and for a good facial. (Though Morgan uses slow motion and that’s always a no-no.)

The next step in the porn movie business is to secure financing. After a very funny tutorial on possible funding methods, we find the best way. Find a rich geek with money to burn and send a couple of whores….errrr stars over to his place to seal the deal. In this case, Kyle Stone plays the money man, perfectly geeky as always. Lola and Nina Ferrari are a blonde and brunette tandem that no man can refuse. Lola mounts his face so Kyle doesn’t get the great we get as Nina sucks his sack then his cock. He makes up for it by plugging her pussy. Give Lola some points for keeping her mouth in close to the action. As always, the perky brunette gives her all when it’s time to fuck. Nina takes the pop into her open mouth, finishing off Kyle and securing money for the next Wicked epic.

With a script and budget, it’s time to cast the actors. The casting process is covered with some funny dialog, a Ron Jeremy cameo and a blowjob audition with an uncredited (on the box) chick doing the sucking of the potential male leads. Whoever this chick is. She has a tattoo on her pussy that makes me wish she had a full bush. Unable to pick which guy should get the part, she fucks them both, even taking it in her ample ass. I’m sorry, this chick has a huge F on her pussy, what is she some new superheroine? Feminist-Woman? Or maybe it stands for Fuckhole? Free Pussy? Fuck here? Whatever the reason, she takes a short DP, then tastes both loads before choosing an actor for the flick.

Now it’s Morgan’s turn to make fun of himself. He comes onto the set and has a good time playing a drunk tyrant. (Drunk, overbearing porn directors? Never.) He’s having trouble getting the scene he wants from Serenity and Kylie Ireland. They get through their “awe inspiring” dialog and have sex on a jail cell floor. Since these two clearly enjoy each other so much, the scene is a lot hotter than your average veggie pairing. Serenity breaks out some toys from her own line and lets Kylie give it to her. Returning the favor plus one, Kylie gets both holes plugged with rubber.

The last step of the process takes place in the editing room. Serenity shows us how they do things like digitally fake a cum shot and even alter an actors appearance. After zapping out the creep and replacing him with Randy Spears, the final scene begins. Serenity is paired with ex-Wicked ingrate…errrr Contract Girl, Alexa. They share his cock, passing it back and forth for several minutes before Alexa spreads wide for some pussy stuffing action. Check out Serenity, pulling it out of her friend and tasting it. Randy gets up behind Serenity and enters her from behind. The girls lie on top of each other so he can move from one to the other quickly and repeatedly. That leads us to the facial and thankfully, Randy doesn’t miss, painting Serenity’s pretty face with a good blast.

It ends here, but what about the most important part of the porn process, the critic’s response? (Jonathan, how about a sequel? Call me.) This is actually a really funny movie. I wouldn’t be at all shocked to see Morgan and Serenity three-peat their awards for this comedy. Porn is so full of cliches, that it’s ripe for this type of mockery, but when it’s done well, it combines good sex and a sense of humor. Serenity’s scenes are the best sexually, but that is to be expected. Her opener with Ian could have been longer, but she makes up for it was a nicely shot lesbian match with Kylie and a nice three way to close things out. The script and casting scenes aren’t bad either. (The casting chick is Friday by the way, which would explain the big F on her privates.) Lola does another fine job in her scene. Great humor, good sex and a lot of laughs….XXX Training has it all.