Kid Vegas Hooked On X


77 Mins
THEMES: Newish Girls
CONDOMS: None Noted
STARS: Gia Regency, Raquel Moore, Jolene, Brandi Lyons, Scott Lyons, Loco Andy, Scott Saturn, Damen Itall
Since Kid Vegas just won an award at XRCO, I figured I should pop his latest tape into the old VCR. Another good reason to watch this is that, with Max gone, Vegas is the only really tough to like guy at Legend. (Besides, we all know what Max did when he didn’t like something I had to say.) Those of you who haven’t ever seen a Kid Vegas movie will probably not get as big a chuckle as the rest of us from the title. Vegas doesn’t mind showing the world that he has a taste for chemical enhancement. In fact, his movies often seem to shot for (and by) people on dangerous quantities of mind altering substances. If Vegas is most famous for winning Worst Movie awards, he makes up whatever he might lack in talent with a bravado that is interesting if sometimes a little more than most of us can stomach.
We start at CES, with some interesting floor footage, but move quickly up to the room where the Kid is ready to get busy. Blonde Gia gets down and sucks on some guy’s dick for a while. The light from the camera is a bit hard, but I don’t think this is supposed to look like a professionally shot sex scene. We’re supposed be watching Kid and one of his boys just partying with a whore right? If that’s the case then either this guy is using too much of whatever he’s using or Gia can’t suck dick. The dude just can’t get hard and even after we go back down to the floor for a while, he’s trying to stuff a marshmallow into a coin box as he attempts to fuck her from behind. Gia looks pretty bored and I have to say I share her feeling at this point. At seventeen minutes we go back to the floor an the most interesting thing so far is trying to pick myself out of the background of the stock footage. Kid, it’s one thing to shoot scenes with limp noodled pals, but at least learn to edit. Not every second of footage you shoot is porn gold bro. When the guy on the edit board starts inserting stupid edit tricks, maybe it it’s time to abandon the scene. We get a random cumshot from another scene to finally end this one. Are we to believe that getting hooked on X will leave one limp and unable to cum?
Kid has Brandi in his room, but has done too many drugs to please her. He calls Scott up into the room and she starts sucking the dude’s dick. I don’t know which is harder to watch, this freaky dude in Vegas style goggles or the fuzzy picture. I know this is supposed to be low key, but someone buy this boy some lights, or maybe KV can hire a few crackheads to hold flashlights up. Brandi is fairly cute, but it looks like we’re watching this scene through frosted glass. (Maybe Gen X porn is all about watching while you’re too fucked up to notice that no one bothered to light the fucking thing.) Normally, I would say that cutting away to show floor footage in the middle of a scene is a bad idea, but in this case, it’s more interesting than the sex. Brandi gets into some decent squat fucking when we return, but it’s still just average picture quality. By the time she really gets going, the bad camera work and picture quality have really ruined this for me. Kid comes in for a double cum shot, but really, what did he use to shoot this?
Kid Vegas is back in front of the camera and this time the lighting is much better. It does look like the camera is on a tripod across the room, but we eventually move in for a tighter view as she starts sucking his dick. (Who is this chick?) She has a nice little body on her and takes cock pretty well. Better lighting, slightly better camera work and some pretty decent by Vegas make this the best scene in the movie so far. (and he doesn’t cut away to the floor, making it even better.) Decent facial finish closes the best thing so far.
When we go back to the floor, some guy has a bullhorn. What he says isn’t important, but who is that dude interviewing Tricia Devereaux? Back indoors we go so that Kid can screw some brunette chick with fake tits and nice skin. He lubes up her tits and then jerks off over her face. After fucking her tits for a bit, he shoots onto her face.
I am still trying to figure out just what sort of movie Kid Vegas is trying to make. Is he trying to make an amateur fuck flick starring mostly pros? If that’s the case, then he has the lighting and fucked up editing down. If he’s trying to make an interesting gonzo flick, then he has the non sex footage down and just needs to figure out how to light a scene. If he’s trying to make a tape guys can jerk off to, then he’s going to have to realize that he can’t be the focus of the flick. No one is jerking off to you Kid, it’s the chicks we want to see. In the meantime, there is just too much bad lighting, lame editing and limp dicked sex for me to see this as anything more than the latest Kid Vegas train wreck.

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