Double Feature


114 Mins.
DIRECTOR: Jonathan Morgan.
THEMES: Comedy, B Movie takes offs.
STARS: Serenity, Jewel De’Nyle, Randy Spears, Sana Fey, Mickey G. Shanna McCullough, Stephanie Swift, Herschel Savage.
In keeping with the theme of the month, feature films, we get another comedic effort from Jonathan Morgan. Though best known for his edgy dramas, Morgan has a knack for good script writing and keeping the dialog interesting enough that people don’t want to tune out between sex scenes. (OK, some people probably want to do that, but those are the same people who tune out as soon as I go into parentheticals, so they are just missing out.) Advance buzz on this movie is that it is an early favorite for best sex comedy for 1999. While that could be a lot of hype, it could also be right on the money. What do you say we find out?
We enter the world of Cheesy Pictures, a B movie company at best. With a scratchy black and white film stock look we see a mock horror film trailer for “Return of the Gang Bang Zombies.” It’s a really funny take off on old zombie movies, complete with cheesy dialog. There are three previews in all, and I won’t give away the punch lines. Just know that this is some really funny stuff, with Randy Spears and Serenity hamming it up big time.
Now it’s time for the feature presentation, “Attack of the Bimbos from Outer Space.” Shot in black and white, the opening sequences look like an Ed Wood feature about space beings who come down to earth in the middle of a peanut farm. The invading aliens may have world domination on their minds, but they do not start out with blast-o rays, but rather with a healthy dose of fellatio. Shanna McCullough and Kary Evers make for quite a welcome invading force, taking on peanut farmers Ian Daniels and Mickey G in an outdoor double boof on the hay bails. Shanna, who still looks mighty fine, takes a solid slamming from Mickey, but Ian is the one who goes into hyperdrive with blonde Kary. Nice, straight forward sex scene, Shanna even doing some anal and a couple of facials thankfully not ruined by slow motion.
Elsewhere, Serenity and Spears play a pair of scientists engaged in a torrid affair. (Her husband is a government scientist so while he is away, she’s schtuping the lowly lab assistant.) I love the way scientists dress in flicks like this. Serenity has a micro skirt and some killer heels on, but I guess if you’re going to suck dick on an examining table, professional attire isn’t the first thing on your list of priorities. (And if while watching her give a blowjob, it’s anywhere near the top of yours, you need to stop watching so damn many features Rog.) He spends just as much time attending to her needs and that gives us some nice close up shots of a tight and tasty looking cookie. Their action zones now both well lubed, she slides down onto his latex encased rod and starts bouncing to beat the band. Nothing like watching an enthusiastic woman ride a hard dick to raise the heat index in ones shorts. Randy is in tip top shape, delivering the wood big time. He even dribbles a pretty thick load, of course most of it ends up on her neck with just a few drops hitting her face. Can’t blame Serenity for the lack of facial in this one. Hot scene though.
The aliens have now begun to attack and thanks to some old B movie looking footage (It probably actually is old footage) we see the earth under attack. Herschel Savage plays the General in charge of fighting off the enemy, but his crack commando squad are quickly turned into mindless sex zombies. (Funny, porn videos seem to do that just fine for most guys.) With the enemy at his door, Herschel squares off with alien leader Jewel D’Nyle and quickly she gains the upper hand. (If you can consider having a woman sucking your dick gives her the upper hand.) He gives her all of his love missile, and still she seems to need more. Her alien slut dialog is pretty damn funny, part porn chick, part B movie alien girl. Very fresh. Oh yeah, and watching her get boned like this doesn’t suck too much either. If you like dirty talk, check this out because this is one foul talking extraterrestrial. It’s a wonder she doesn’t do him permanent damage riding his dick like that. Herschel manages to drip a strand of jizz onto her tits before turning from porn stud to total zombie. (A short trip in most cases.)
In the heat of the battle, Serenity devises a plan. I won’t give it away, but it involves Randy having to fuck the invading bimbos. Shanna Jewel and Kary all team up, thinking they will turn him into a slave as well. Hell, having your cock and balls sucked simultaneously by three women isn’t such a bad way to go if you ask me. One at a time, they take turns fucking him, punishing him with their pussies. Again, Jewel has plenty so say about her intense desire to be fucked. When Randy finally shoots, his load has a little surprise for the girls, but you’ll have to watch and see what happens.
So ends the first half of our double feature, but there is plenty more. In “Man Made Beast” Serenity once again stars, this time as a lonely woman on a beach. (What, you need more of a set up?) Her Mexican lover (Mickey G.) comes in to help keep her company and apparently that means tuna tacos for lunch. You know, I could think of worse ways to spend some time than tasting these lovely lips. Speaking of lips, look at what we have here, Serenity sucking dick on camera. No, it’s not that rare, but it sure does look nice. Nice, long blowjob sequence here, proving that Morgan hasn’t forgotten what we’re here to see, even in the middle of his dialog intensive movie. After a nice looking doggy, she starts riding RC and there are some spectacular longer shots, showing off Serenity’s legs as well as her face, breasts, abs and cookie. This may be one of my favorite shots in all of porn, especially when legs this hot are involved. Speaking of legs (OK, knock that shit off.) The standing screw with her leg up around her face is pretty tasty as well. That’s the position that prompts Mickey to toss aside his rubber and drop his seed on her thigh.
The encounter leaves her so unsatisfied that Serenity puts into motion a plan to create a man who can satisfy her needs. (Did I hear a call for volunteers?) Her lab assistant suggests girls, which leads into a nice flashback scene between Serenity and Stephanie Swift. (Did I hear someone say ‘the franchise.’) These two lovely women stretch out on a blanket under the midday sun and feast on each other. OK, as a non-lesbian fan in general, I have to admit that the idea of these two women sharing sexual moments is way above average on the wood inducing chart. Hey, besides having awesome bodies and gorgeous faces, you know what else these two ladies have in common? (They’ve both starred in your own personal mast…) I do really like the pussy to pussy grinding these two do has me re-thinking that whole veggie thing. Though she liked it with a woman, the encounter left a bad taste in Serenity’s mouth. (No pun intended.)
Trying to create her sexual Frankenstein, we get some Mel Brooks lines rehashed for the porn audience. (Memo to self, watch that ‘Young Frankenstein’ DVD you bought.) After creating her wonder man, Serenity is away when the lab mutant, Sana Fey, gets to him first. She may have a hunchback, but this girl can sure suck a mean dick. Spears plays the monster and moans his way through the scene, but most of the attention should be focused on the red head with her mouth full of rod. You know, as big as that hump on her back was, I think the two on her chest are bigger? And speaking of hump on her back, that’s exactly what she does. (Groan!) In fact, he fucks her so hard, that you can no longer even see the hunch when she takes it from behind. How many creatures can say that on their first day alive, they got to fuck a busty redheaded hosebeast in the ass? As if to prove everything works, the creature drops a load on her bush, but just keeps going. It seems his sex drive is too much for the average mutant lab assistant.
Following the classic tale, the creature gets loose and comes across a lovely young maiden (Ursula Moore) in the forest. Instead of drowning her, he has her help out with that nagging sexual itch he has. The brunette may be a virginal eighteen year old, but she seems quite skilled at satisfying his needs orally. In spite her father’s orders to resist the temptations, she lets him take her from behind. I love the way the leggy brunette rides RC, really getting into her work and looking lovely as she fucks him. Not many virgins can do a piledriver anal and take a stick wad on their faces the first time out. I’d say the boys in the nearby countryside are going to have plenty of fun in the near future.
When the townspeople catch up, it’s almost curtains for the creature. What can save him? Oh come on, you don’t think I’m going to give that away do you? The emphasis is on laughter during this two hour bone-a-thon. Much of the dialog is borrowed from classic horror or mainstream comedies, but it’s very well executed and certainly as funny as porn comedy I’ve seen a while. Anthony Crane provides many of the laughs with his non-sex performances, but all the actors, Serenity, Spears, Savage, McCullough and the rest, do a credible job. Now, since this is a porn, how about the sex? Serenity has three nice scenes, with Spears (Who blew a shot at a facial), Mickey G (The best of this movie IMO) and with Stephanie Swift. Jewel D’Nyle’s dirty talking space bimbo needs to recognized as well. Ursula Moore, Sana Fey and Shanna McCullough are also worth a look. Props to Morgan for putting together a well done X-rated spoof. It’s not for everyone, but it’s different, funny and for the most part, sexually hot. Works for me.

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