Asswoman In Wonderland


130 Mins.
DIRECTOR: Tiffany Mynx
Extreme Associates
THEMES: DP, psychedelic sex.
1998 (8/98)
STARS: Tiffany Mynx, Alexandra Nice, Chandler, Jessica Darlin, Iroc, Stryc9, Luciano, Van Damage, Jonathan the Rabbit, Rob Black with Tom Byron as the Lord of Asses and Nina Hartley as the Queen of Hearts.
Like many of you, I have been dying for Tiffany Mynx to get behind the camera ever since Buttwoman 97. With her move to Extreme Associates, I have been waiting to see what sort of cum soaked adventure she would take us on next. With an impressive cast and an interesting topic, Tiff, (AKA the woman with the hottest ass in all of porn) seems ready for a full length, fuck filled feature to warm the hearts and jump start the loins of horny fans everywhere. Any video with Tiffany in it, is worth watching, but watching her from start to finish makes this a must see. And since Extreme didn’t do it for us, maybe I should warn people with delicate hearts to watch this tape only with a phone nearby to call 911. Watching Mynx fuck has been known to hospitalize or kill some viewers.
The opening of the video is a very long scene that takes place at the Extreme Associates company BBQ. I warn you, this goes on for a long time with no sexual action. It sets up the wild, drug induced ride Tiff is about to take and I found some of the moments a little entertaining. I’ll run them down, but for those of you looking to get right to the action, skip this whole paragraph. The whole Extreme team is there, eating, bullshitting, smoking, drinking and doing tings porn people do. At one point, we get a graphic that counts the number of times Rob Black says ‘fuckin’ in a conversation. Tiffany makes her way through the party, finally lighting up with the help of sexy Stryc9. A few pills and a shitload of beer later, she stumbles into the bathroom, probably looking to yack up this interesting combination.
When Tiffany wakes up, she is dressed up like Alice and has obviously gotten herself into some kind of fucked up alternative universe. (Think a review guy could get blown by Tiff there?) (I can dream DAMMIT!) The first thing she sees in this strange land is Chandler working a hard cock with her mouth. As the scene begins, the style of the film is a bit unnerving, very grainy and jumpy. While this works perfectly to set the mood and create the alternative world, I am quite glad to see it stop after a few minutes so we can enjoy the sex. Nothing is more annoying than when style gets in the way of sex. (Wake up Andrew Blake, I’m talking to you.) Chandler always gives great head and this is no exception. The only time during their fucking where the film style switches back is during the transitions, which actually makes them a nice touch. Tiffany watches as Chandler gets thoroughly slam fucked by Jake Steed and his fat prick. Hot stuff if you like sexy redheads being screwed silly by big dicks. Chandler sees Tiff and invites her into the mix and I have to admit this has me even more interested in seeing the rest of this scene. Asswoman goes right for the red snapper, munching on Chandler’s lips and clearly enjoying her lesbian lust. That finished, Jake comes back to fuck Chandler in the ass. This is quite a feat, and I really wish there had been less stylizing here and just more straight forward, butt blasting action. What we see is great stuff, the scale of style vs. sex just gets slightly tipped here. Thank God the facial is nicely shot and perfectly clear. We are off to a fine start in Wonderland.
Following the rabbit down another hall, Tiffany finds herself face to face with herself. Asswoman is lying comatose in a chair as Dr. Luciano and his sexy nurse Alexandra Nice get it on not two feet away. Alex does a very nice job deep throating his cock, swallowing it whole before bending over to take it in her tight pussy. While this is a very nice scene to watch, I can’t help thing that having the Mynxter so close to the action, but totally uninvolved, is just very bad form. The anal sex is ever better looking in this thanks to some brighter lighting. I can’t remember a better scene with this brunette booty bandit. The cumshot goes into a big glass and Tiff drinks it all down. (Drink Me, get it?)
The next encounter brings a new meaning to the word strange. Asswoman runs into the Lord of Asses, who shares some mushrooms with her. I’ve never found drug humor at all amusing, but hey, it gets us to a three way between Tom, Jessica Darlin and Stryc9. (The latter two have big flowers on their heads. Somewhere Gregory Dark is smiling.) Once the camera stops moving and we can actually see what’s going on, the action is first rate. (By the way Tom, Jessica AND Stryc9, with a side order of Tiffany? How does it feel to be living my fantasies fucker?) Even with big yellow pedals on their heads, Jess and Stryc9 are total hotties. As Tom fucks Jessica, Stryc9 licks her tight asshole, clearly getting it ready for later use. My only concern here is how do you choose? Any of these three women would be better than mortal man deserves, so which one to fuck first would be the hardest question. After Jessica, Tom lets Stryc9 sit on his cock while the other two women rub her clit and play her awesome tits. This doesn’t last for long however. The Lord of Asses must her the incredible butt of Ms. Darlin calling and gives is a super poke. Not to be left out, Stryc9 lowers her butt down on Tom’s rod and shows that she is quite the little butt slut as well. (And a still un-interviewed butt slut at that.) Tiffany weighs in by sucking his cock straight out of that ass. His cumshot winds up on her ass as well, with Tiff and Jess there to lick up every last drop. Another hot scenes.
Going from strange to stranger Asswoman crashes a toe-party. (Think Mad Hatter’s tea party but with chicks giving footjobs.) Van Damage and Luciano are the hatters with Iroc and Stryc9 using their feet in most pleasing ways. The dialog between Tiff and Van is actually quite funny, but it’s nothing compared to the action that follows. Tiffany gets fully involved this time, sucking Van’s cock deep into her mouth and stealing the show in a heartbeat. From her mouth to Stryc9’s pussy, Van gets the best of both worlds during this scene. This repeated P2M action far outshines the Iroc/Luciano pairing, which is good, but not as ball busting as the three way. The girls end up facing each other while being fucked, all the while fingering Asswoman. Stryc9 nearly uses her whole fist for a time, sending Tiffany into screaming fits of sexual bliss. Her screaming doesn’t stop there however, as Asswoman gets fucked into repeated ‘squirting’ orgasms. A warning to those of you watching in places with thin walls, turn down the sound lest your neighbors think you are killing people. Bad time to get artsy with the cumshot as Tiff takes two loads on her face in the messiest climax to date. Please, never, never fuck with the facials. It’s nothing short of tragic.
The next bizarre character Asswoman comes across is Rob Black who is playing himself. (That would scare anyone.) He helps her finally figure out the riddle and make it to the final hurdle between here and home. (What a guy.) Asswoman comes face to face with the Queen of Hearts, Nina Hartley. She has some fiendish plans for our heroine that start with a game of dueling spankings played the Lord of Asses on Tiff’s superb butt. To pacify her cries, Van and Luciano provide their cocks while Nina keeps whipping her ass. Nina personally does a taste test to see if her spanking has had an effect on Asswoman’s pussy. With Tiffany at the center of this sexual banquet, the others gather around to watch and lend a cock or finger or tongue to break in her fine body. (Jefferson Airplane singing in Rog’s head ‘Go ask Alice, when she’s being fucked��) Nina gets her sucking in as well, but with Tiffany being fucked silly, who can notice anything but this spurt inspiring scene? It is nice to see Nina still getting down and dirty after all these years in porn. She still has perhaps the only ass in smut that can rival Tiff’s and her love of cock is as apparent here as any time in her long career. After getting her fill, the Queen orders Asswoman onto the throne where she is to be double penetrated. I understand this is the first time Tiff has had both holes filled at once on camera, so it’s an event. I don’t even care if it’s the first time or not, it’s fucking hot. The Mynxster double fucked, wow if this isn’t a scene to kept forever, I don’t know what is. This time, the facial is kept mostly in tact and Tiffany is creamed with a tremendous amount of liquid lust. All hail Asswoman! (Oh shit, no sooner do I write it, that the dialog actually comes from my screen. I should write these things.)
This is a pretty big deal for Tiffany Mynx. Not only does she carry much of the sexual action of this film, her behind the camera work is impressive as well. There is more of a concept than a real story, but no one is watching Asswoman for its in depth plot. Because of the surreal nature of Wonderland, the grainy, bad acid trip style the Rob Black has used so often fits pretty well here. It intrudes a little too much on the sex at times for my taste, but overall is a plus. Tiffany is brilliant in her role, handling her dialog with ease and proving again that she is a total sexual inferno. Her final DP scene puts a cap on a fantastic performance. The supporting characters provide a number of memorable moments as well. Jessica Darlin and Stryc9 are particularly hot, but they always are. Chandler gets points for deep fucking Jake Steed’s cock. Tom Byron, Rob Black and Van Damage all give interesting performances as well, adding some smiles to a hard on filled adventure that will likely leave everyone with soaked shorts. Oh yeah, the outtakes at the end are a nice touch as well. One final thought if I may, God DAMN Tiffany is one hundred percent, head to toe, mother fucking fine as Hell!

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