THE NICE, THE NAUGHTY AND THE BAD
71 Mins.
DIRECTOR: Michael Zen
Vivid
www.Vivid.com
– 1990 (11/95)
THEMES: Corporate Sex,
STARS: Chasey Lain, Jeanna Fine, Jill Kelly, Tom Byron, Steven St. Croix, Tony Tedeschi, Joey Silvera and Bobby Vitale.
DVD FEATURES
View the Feature
Bad Girls
Web
Award Winning Sex
Previews
Meet the Girls
Intel Sex Game
DVD EXTRA GRADE: A-
The usual high volume of bonus material is here, with a few changes. The Intel Sex Game, which usually features Kobe Tai, now has clips from other movies. (Nicely identified to make it easier.)
Beyond that, it’s the usual package from Vivid. Tons of extra stuff, adding much to the overall value of the disc.
REVIEW:
I’m looking at the cast list and comparing it to the title. There are three women listed, so we have to figure out who is nice, who is naughty and who is bad. If we use looks as the criteria, I’d say Chasey is nice, Jeanna naughty and Jill, bad. If it’s sexual performance, then Jill is nice, Jeanna is very naughty and Chasey is pretty bad. Of course, without actually seeing the movie, I have no clue if the title has anything to do with the female leads. Maybe Chasey suffers from MPD, or maybe this is a porn version of a spaghetti western. Maybe I should just shut the fuck up and get on with the movie. (And you know, calling Jill bad looking and Chasey bad sexually is probably a bit harsh, even tongue in cheek.)
We open in a bar with Joey Silvera mentoring a young ad exec. (Chasey Lain.) In walks a drunken, disheveled Steven St. Croix. It seems Steven was once the next coming, but crashed and burned. Back in the day, he lead a double life. Happy home, loving wife on one hand, fast motorcycle and faster girlfriend on the other. I will assume that the masturbating chick by the pool (Jill Kelly) is the latter. Steven rides in, smiles at the naked blonde and goes diving for clit. This is pre-implant Jill for those of you who care about such things. Steven gives her a quick fuck, adding his juices to the oil pooled on her belly.
Steven’s other woman in Jeanna Fine, who does a hilarious June Cleaver as she hustles around trying to get his dinner on the table. (Jeanna Fine, a domestic housewife? Why not cast Billy Glide as a brain surgeon?) Beneath her all too happy exterior, something is brewing. She wants it more often than their scheduled twice a month and when he won’t agree, Jeanna lifts her dress and starts rubbing her sweet pussy in desperation. We get a very erotic masturbation scene as Steven finishes him meal, inexplicably refusing to fuck his hot little number.
Joey gets paged and has to head back to the office, leaving Chasey at the bar with the deliriously wasted St. Croix. She makes a move on him, taking us back in time to see how Chasey made her way out of the secretarial pool. Chasey puts the moves on her boss, Tom Byron. (The long pony tail is so very corporate.) She drops to her knees and starts giving what she describes as “world class head.” I don’t know about world class, but watching her pretty face bobbing up and down on knob is always fun to watch. Hell, she even sucks his balls a bit here. The quickie blowjob ends with Tom jerking a load out onto her big boobs. This is the kind of things that will help her move up the ladder at the White House, but does it work for Chasey? Tom may like it, but Steven shuts her down. The young secretary vows revenge.
Joey is back, so the story can continue. For Valentine’s Day, Steven buys gifts for each of his women. The carefully selected gifts, a mixer and a dildo are given to Chasey for delivery. (Oh, the plot thickens.) She simply swaps cards on the gifts and waits for his whole house of cards to collapse around him. The women seem to swap roles, throwing his whole world into turmoil. The neglected Jeanna turns to a porn staple, fucking the plumber. Tony Tedeschi doesn’t have to asked twice when Ms. Fine asks to check out his equipment. Remember that world class head Chasey talked about earlier? We sure get that here. Jeanna inhales cock like no one in porn and for the first time in the movie, we get something that is too good to miss. In the middle of this blowjob, telephone man Bobby Vitale shows up and Jeanna starts sucking his cock as well. Jeanna Fine is just amazing. Watching her give head is a treat and truly one of porn’s greatest assets. Pulling the old Greg Brady trick, Jeanna moves back and forth between both rooms, keeping the guys happy. She gets eaten by Tony in the kitchen, then rushes in to the bedroom to let Bobby fuck her. (At least she didn’t do it the other way around.) Finally, they wise up, figure out what’s going on and both give her the thing she desires most, rock hard cock. No doubt this is the very best scene in the movie. Jeanna is on fire, being fucked raw by one cock and deep throating the other. So much for the happy homemaker. Two great facials close out the scene. This is going to one super fucking happy neighborhood.
Having learned her lessons well, Chasey goes to work on Joey for a promotion. She really looks stunning spread out on the pool table for his probing mouth. After watching Jeanna put on a clinic, the flaws in Chasey’s cock sucking are quite evident, but it is not without appeal. She does a nice bit of tit fucking before slobbering all over his head. It’s certainly good enough head to get Joey throbbing and ready to fuck her tight pussy. I don’t recall ever seeing Chasey do as much grinding while being fucked before. (What a shame no one could ever get this girl to really fuck.) Nice hand job leads to a final popshot on her big boobs. Sleeping her way to the top? Gloria Steinem would not approve.
The plan now complete, Chasey has a little celebration with Jeanna and Jill. (See, women are all in cahoots my friends. It’s a damn conspiracy.) The three way between these three is pretty uneventful. The heat of Jeanna can not make up for the fact that Chasey is sleepwalking and Jill has virtually no sex appeal. It’s your mandatory g/g scene, and you’re welcome to watch it if you like.
When it’s all finished, something seems to be missing. Jeanna’s scene is easily the very best sex in the movie. She is hot enough to watch more than once. Chasey is in three scenes, the best of which is her pairing with Joey. Not bad at all. The blowjob scene isn’t bad either. Jill Kelly has only one abbreviated scene before reappearing in the final lesbian three way. There is the husk of an entertaining story here, but it just isn’t very well developed. If you’re a Chasey fan, you may like this, but my money is still on Jeanna. Her scene is the reason to watch.