Britney Rears 3: Britney Gets Shafted

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Roger T. Pipe

It started as a cure for writers block. I was working on some other projects and would come home every night and write in a journal as a warm up. One day, I was reading alt.sex.movies and found some reviews of porn flicks. I've always loved movies and porn, so I decided to review some tapes form my personal porn collection. I wrote a review, found that I liked it and posted it to asm. The feedback was positive and I just kept writing. I found it a great way to get me started each day, writing about something I enjoyed and pretty soon, people were asking me to review their films and work on a web site. The rest, as they say, is history.

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Reviews >> Movie Reviews >> Britney Rears 3: Britney Gets Shafted

Britney Rears 3: Britney Gets Shafted

MOVIE TYPE: Feature

125 Mins

X-Play/Hustler Video

www.BritneyRears.com

www.Hustler.com

DIRECTOR: Will Rider

THEMES: Pop Stars, Costumes, Interracial Sex, Anal Sex

CONDOMS: None Noted

2006

6/06

STARS: Hillary Scott, Jasmine Byrne, Jenna Presley, Kat, Alana Evans, Victoria Sweet, Melissa Martinez, Naomi, J Depth, Tommy Gunn, James Deen, Kurt Lockwood, Johnny Castle & Marco Banderas.

REVIEW-

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Once more into the breach my friends. It’s time to take a look at the latest Britney Rears adventure. It is also time for me to write my 2000th DVD Review. (40 more and they will catch VHS.) There have been some big changes in Hustler’s huge franchise. Right at the top of the cast we have someone new in the lead role. Gone is Jessica/Britney and in her place is Hillary Scott. There shouldn’t be anyone reading this who doesn’t already know what this blonde is incredibly capable of carrying a movie. Is this akin to Moore taking over for Connery? (I know, there was that one Lazenby flick in between, but we can assume that Hillary isn’t a one shot wonder.) Is it like Sammy Hagar taking over for David Lee Roth? And what ever happened to Jessica Sweet? None of these questions will be answered in any way shape or form during the movie or the review, but that’s the kind of crazy shit that runs through my head when I’m listening to the Britney Rears music. It’s all I can do to keep the catchy pop tunes from sticking in my brain for weeks at a time. With any luck there will plenty of other sticky things to talk about during the movie and we won’t have to wonder how embarrassing it might be to hum “I Wanna Get Laid” while in line at the bank.

Britney opens up the time machine she ordered on Ebay and after some initial skepticism from her friends, takes a trip back to the swinging 70’s. They land smack dab in the middle of some disco TV show that is co-hosted by a brother named Shafted and some chick named Bridgette. Apparently Bridgette looks a lot like Britney so they throw her right into the mix.

Kat, Naomi & Tommy Gunn

Just about the time raincoaters are getting the shakes from a lack of sex, the TV director (Tommy Gunn) steps into the Love Lounge for a three way. Kat and Naomi join him and they can’t seem to get at his cock fast enough. The loud music helps drown out any quagging that Kat might bring to the table. You have to love the aggressive blowjob she gives Tommy as she gets positions him under Naomi’s fine ass. Tommy gives it to Naomi really hard in doggy while her tiny little friend is underneath for some good looking 69. He never actually fucks Kat, but when he pulls out and shoots his load, it is her set of fake eyelashes that he blasts with a thick wad of protein shake.

The show is kind of a funkified American Bandstand with enough retro clothes and bad hair to make everyone over the age of forty feel nostalgic for scratchy vinyl, rainbow suspenders and mutton chops.

Alana Evans, Victoria Sweet, Melissa Martinez & Johnny Castle

In between takes, some of the dancers team up on a teen heartthrob for some three on one action. Alana takes over the action, showing the other two girls how to suck like a pro. He just leans back and shows us why it’s good to be a pop idol. All that gay facial hair, cheesy music and synchronized dance moves have to be good for something, right? There is plenty of great action to go around, but Alana comes out as the top cock sucker in this bunch and downs her share of the load with a great smile on her face.

Britney keeps trying to explain to her co-host (J Depth) that she is a visitor from another time. He doesn’t believe her at first, but in the end she convinces him. Either that or he is just so hot to fuck her that he doesn’t care if is batshit crazy.

Hillary Scott & J Depth

Before she can get her time machine back, little Brit has to take care of his big black pole. She uses both hands and still has more than enough to work with. Hillary is great looking and can suck dick really well. What usually holds her back is the fake gagging stuff. We get very little of that this time though. She stares into the camera and takes as much as she can. When it’s just too big for her mouth, Brit sits on the desk and lets him have a crack at her tight little pop princess pussy. J pumps her slowly at first, stretching that box out and getting her ready to take a long hard ride on that long prick. This is a great scene from one of the hottest women in the biz. She pulls a great dismount, jerks him off with both hands and then lets him drip his load onto her pretty face.

Britney takes off back to her time and apparently forgot all about her friend back in the 70’s. Good thing Jenna Presley is there to remind the ditzy diva what she left behind. Brit pops back with Jasmine in tow. Oops, she’s got a dick in her mouth. Before making Jasmine take him back, Britney lets her finish what she started.

Jasmine Byrne & Marco Banderas

Both Jasmine and Marco have huge afro wigs on so if that turns you on then be prepared to be rocked to your sexual core. As usual, Jasmine takes the cock and eats it like it holds the secrets of life. She gags a few times, but mostly makes that big hard pole vanish inside of her immensely talented mouth. As good as the blowjob is things get even hotter when she rides Marco’s prick. Jasmine arches her back, shows off her great ass and seems to fuck like she hasn’t had any for a long time. We get some fantastic doggy and great shots of her wet pussy as she gets drilled in spoon. Her energy is good and the scene doesn’t cut away every time things get good. It has a nice pace and enough eye candy for everyone to enjoy from start to finish. Jasmine eats his load at the end of the scene like a perfect little slut. Maybe the next Hustler franchise should be about a hot Latina pop star. (Jennifer Hopez? Suck-ira?)

Jenna Presley & James Deen

With so much sex going on, Jenna just had to get some. She and James hook up outside, but from the start she has the dying goose sounds turned up to ten. For the first time in the movie, the sex is overtaken by this kind of stuff. He grabs her by the head and exacerbates the situation, assuring that quag-fans will have one scene to jerk to while the rest of us roll our eyes and wait for something good. At least it wasn’t a scene with one of the headliners. Jenna takes the dick out of her mouth and starts riding with her hot little pussy. By now though the steam is gone and they just play out the string.

Hillary Scott & Kurt Lockwood

Kurt comes by for some late night loving and Britney doesn’t mind a bit. She strips out of her clothes and gives a loud sloppy blowjob. For the most part Hillary has avoided the faux-gag action, but she breaks it out her, quagging on Kurt’s dick while rubbing her clit. (Probably dreaming about the dick she had earlier and wishing that this one was big enough to actually make her gag for real.) You have to love the way she talks dirty once he gets that dick into her pussy. Hillary knows how to add some naughty dialog to the action. We get some great looking reverse cowgirl action as she works her hips up and down until every inch is gone. That leaves her wide open for some anal. Hillary takes it in the back door like the perfect cock hound we know she is. The anal doesn’t last for too long, but does feature some hot piledriver before the pop tart takes the load. She looks into the camera and plays with the cum. Great finish to the action.

Extras

There are a number of BTS reels here including a great interview with Hillary, close up looks at the soundtrack and other fun stuff. We get a couple of Hustler trailers as well as all three Britney trailers. There is also a hot slideshow from the movie. Of course the biggest bonus feature here is the inclusion of the first Britney Rears movie. Any time you get an additional movie in the package you, it’s a good thing. Since the first Britney movie was a really good flick the total grade for the bonus material has to be an A+

So how does the new Britney stack up against the original? Pretty well actually. The movie has a different feel, but sticks with the fun. Sexually this might be the strongest of the three flicks. Hillary and Jasmine take care of that perfectly, but we also get some fine action from Kat and Alana. The core story is a bit different this time around, but I think they pretty much explored the pop princess angle thoroughly in the first two volumes. The time travel thing is cute and it makes room for lots of elaborate costumes, wigs and plenty of funky make up. I’m not personally crazy about afros and polyester, but if you are then there is some added appeal. How about Hillary as the new Britney? She does a fine job. I liked the way Jessica looked and acted a lot like the celebrity superstar she was lampooning so that always made her scenes hot. Without question Hillary is a better performer though. As one of the very best in the industry, she brings a sexual heat to the movie that we won’t see in too many features this year. Throw in Jasmine Byrne and you have an unbeatable tandem. (As much as I don’t dig girl/girl scenes, Hillary and Jasmine would have made for some on screen sparks.) If you like the series, then this is a nice way to open the Hillary Scott chapter. If you have been turned off by the hype then tune in for a couple of great sex scenes. Hillary and Depth heat things up and then Jasmine burns the whole place down with another fantastic scene. The real Britney may be old news, but thanks to Scott, a cute story, great sex and some humor, the porn version is still going strong. (By the way, I’d still do any of the Britney’s..Spears, Rears 1 or the new one. Any time baby.)


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