WHACK ATTACK 3

OVERALL RATING: 10

125 Mins.

DIRECTOR: Tom Byron

Extreme

THEMES: Anal Sex.

1998

STARS: Sabrina Johnson, Stryc-9, Jessica Darlin, Iroc, Alexandra Nice, Tiffany Mynx, Tom Byron, Claudio, Lexington Steel, Ian Daniels.

REVIEW:

So I’m sitting around totally bored one day right, just thinking about stupid stuff and I starting thinking about which director has the highest RRR (Rog Review’s Rating.) Average. John Leslie? Nic Cramer? Pierre Woodman? John Stagliano? Rob Black? All of these directors have scored tens, something that Tom Byron hasn’t yet achieved. (Upon later reflection, that is not correct, he nailed a ten with Cumback Pussy 6, another movie with a perfect cast.) However, as I thought back on all his movies, I couldn’t remember one that scored below a nine which makes him the probably candidate for lifetime leader in RRR Average. Having said that, if this movie scores a ten, it’s going to look like I wrote this after I saw the movie, but I really didn’t. However, look at the cast gang. Stryc9, Sabrina Johnson, Jessica Darlin, Tiffany Mynx, four of my top ten with Alexandra Silk and Iroc, two women I am starting to like more and more, rounding out the roster. If Tom fucks things up, he has no one to blame but himself, but I freely admit to hoping he puts these hotties to good use.

First up is Sabrina Johnson, who is so sexy it’s almost criminal. As is custom, Tom shows off all the cool editing tricks and music during the strip/spread/tease/foreplay stuff in the pre-scene. Nicely done and most importantly it allows us to focus on the sex once the fucking begins. Tom runs her through a short interview, which is fun, though I could listen to Sabrina talk for a long time. That accent is too fucking sexy. Of course, that is nothing to how smoking she is staring into the camera with those big, brown eyes and a mouth full of cock. I swear, she has what have to be the hottest lips. (Tom, you can tell her I said so, and if she’s in town, I’d love an interview, or a blowjob, whichever she prefers.) Even when her mouth is not on cock, Sabrina knows how to use to make her scenes extra hot. As Tom pounds away on her pussy, she moans in such a sexy manner that this might be a good time to take your first break, grab some tissue, wipe off the screen and continue. (Why not just the whole fucking box while you’re at it?) If you like gapes, I just know you are already drooling at the site of her asshole while she rides Tom’s cock. That butt is just begging for a bone and waiting to gape open for the camera. I prefer the look on her face as she grinds her hips and tells him how much she loves it. This woman knows how to fuck for the camera. We all know it’s her asshole Tom really wants, and Sabrina doesn’t miss a beat with that meat in her beautiful British bum. (OK, the little bits of strobe editing are stylistic, but I don’t need them. Stick to the quick strobe cuts for transitions and we’re golden.) She can take a major assfuck and Tom knows how to deliver. Fans of the gape will love the wide open insertion shots as he repeatedly violates her colon. Pulling his pecker out of her pooper, Tom sprays that pretty face with semen sauce. Sabrina kicks ass. (And for those keeping score, in his first trip to the plate, Tom got all of it, putting it over the left center field fence with only the brief strobing keeping this from being an upper deck shot.)

Next comes Stryc-9 (Or Cherry or Stric-9, whatever she is called now.) I know there is the whole mess with her being fired and all that, but this girl is number two with a bullet on my faves list and her little schoolgirl outfit is just too freaking much. Another nice music video/tease as she sheds the clothes and shows off her pint sized frame that should have every one of you impeaching your chief executive faster than you can say….something really short and easy to say quickly. Stryc-9 is paired with Cluadio, emphasizing the whole older guy/younger girl thing, but there is nothing girlish about Stryc-9 once she gets a guy’s pants off. She stares right into his eyes while working his fuckstick with her hot mouth, making him feel twenty years younger (Or putting him twenty years close to the grave, I can’t tell which.) I just hope he has a strong heart, but she looks like she is trying to suck his liver out through his dick. After this sort of oral loving, is it any wonder Claudio is looking to munch out on super fine young bod? Personally, I would have spent a bit more time on her tits, but with a pussy this juicy, no one can blame him for getting right to the tuna tasting. Since the pussy tastes so good, one can only imagine how nice it feels snuggly gripping a cock as it enters her hot hole. He gives it to her just hard enough to get her perfect tits shaking, but when it’s her turn, Stryc-9 prefers a little bit harder. After some fantastic looking reverse cowgirl, the roll to a spoon where he easily slides into her hot asshole. Hearing her groan “Fuck me” over and over has to be almost as sexy as actually watching him bust her little butt. Great RCA here with good close ups of the action and some longer shots of those wonderful tits. In fact, we even get a little bit of tit fucking that brings a load from Claudio, outfitting Stryc9 with a new pearl necklace. At bat number two is another homerun, this one reach the first row of the second deck. Byron is on a roll.

Alexandra Nice and Iroc share the spotlight next and this works out rather nicely since both of them have moved up my list since meeting them this weekend at CES. Ian Daniels is along for the ride, buy Iroc is too busy with her tongue in Alex’s ass to notice him at first. The girls make up for this initial lack of attention by giving him a pretty find double blowjob that features Nice throating his cock and Iroc licking his asshole. However, things get even hotter when I gets her mouth around his cock. With smoldering eyes and a soft tongue, she drives him wild while Alex licks her ass for good measure. (Hey Iroc, remember that question you asked me? All of what you feared would change if I could experience this skill of yours first hand.) The fact that Ian doesn’t blow a nut while one of these two lovelies is sucking his shaft is a testament to his professionalism. They call Iroc the foot master, but you know, this girl can fuck. We don’t get many close-ups when she is in RC, but that is only because Alexandra has her mouth on Ian’s cock or Iroc’s clit the whole time. When it’s time to switch, Iroc gets Alex’s ass lubed up while the Euro-hottie bucks on his rod. If it looks like we are about to see some assfucking, that’s only because we are. Iroc goes anal first, and it’s a long, brilliantly shot, super fine assfuck. Iroc, you can sit on my lap any damn time you like. When Alexandra takes over in some stunning RCA, Iroc sucks her toes and then does some A2M cocksucking, keeping Ian nice and wet so Alex can slam fuck him with her butt. The only way to finish a scene like this would be with a facial and though Ian overshoots the mouths a bit, Alexandra’s face gets nicely juiced. After a pair of homeruns, Byron knocks one into the gap for a stand up double.

Next up is Jessica Darlin, a pint sized blonde who I have been enamoured with for quite some time and who never fails to excite and arouse whenever she gets within shouting distance of a nice, hard cock. This time, she is paired with Lexington Steele, a man with a cock as big as Jessica’s whole leg. After they compare tattoos and Jessica shows the confident ease in front of the camera that makes her so damn charming, Lexington lets the big dog out to play. His cock is huge in her mouth and tiny hands, but Jessica bends at the waist and starts sucking like she wolfs down footlongs every day. On her knees, she looks up at him with a look in her eyes that will bring about another mass use of tissue on TV screens. Taking full advantage of her obvious charms, Lexington first sucks Jessica’s hot boobs, then picks her up for a standing 69 with seemingly no effort. As she sits, straddling his cock, there is only one thing on my mind. “No freaking way anything THAT big is going into someone THAT small.” And yet, there she goes, sliding down, inch by inch, until nearly all of it fills her hot honeypot. Putting her on her back, Lexington kneels between Jessica’s thighs and enters her for some brief, but hard mish before doing the unthinkable. He actually slides that telephone pole of a cock into her asshole! They call her the “Anal Queen of Porn” and this is Jessica’s chance to prove it. Though he doesn’t go right for the long strokes, watching this tiny girl take seven or so inches of his thick shaft into her gripping ass is so fucking hot I had to go turn the heat off. After this amazing anal, she grips his cock with both hands and starts jerking it off furiously towards her face. With a big load of cum on her pretty face, Jessica sucks every last drop out of his rod. If watching huge black men fuck the shit out of small white girls, then you have found the Holy Grail my friends, pure and simple. In at bat number four, Tommy has just left the fucking yard in a hurry! Upper deck with this one sports fans.

Last but so fucking far from least it’s not even in the same zip code, is the incredible, the incomparable, the totally irresistible Tiffany Mynx. She lies on the bed, showing off her new boobs, which I think look totally fine, talking to Tom about how long they have know each other. (Which is exactly as long as I have been running her hot bod and sexy face through my fantasies.) Watching her gets Tom’s cock hard, proving that he is a man, just like the rest of us. (Well, except he actually gets to have his dick in her mouth, while the rest of us just pretend our hands are that wonderful orifice.) No matter how many times I watch Tiffany Mynx suck cock, I never get tired of it. In fact, she may give the best on screen blowjobs of anyone in porn today. (Perhaps ever.) She doesn’t stop until she has bathed every inch of his cock with her tongue and even rims his ass thoroughly. After a blowjob this good, it would be hard to top it, but Tiffany somehow manages to turn the heat up as she squats on his cock. Leaning back during the reverse cowgirl, she manages to show off her long legs, sweet pussy, big rack and the look on her face….oh man. Tom moves rather quickly to fuck her oh so fine ass and Tiffany, as always, thrives with a bone in her butt. Tom fucks her quite well, but like any porn super-slut, Tiff does her best work when she is on top, slamming her asshole down on his hard cock, trying to take it ever deeper. Reverse Cowgirl Anal this time around is a wet dream come to life as Tiff and Tom turn in one of the finest scenes of the year. Though she is at an awkward angle, Tiff still takes a nice facial, closing things out in an appropriately wet manner.

So, with five trips to the plate this time around, how did the Lord of Asses come out? Let’s see, one stand up double. (And remember, this is a baseball analogy, a double is solid hit and then some.) and four freaking home runs. I’d say that’s pretty damn amazing even from a guy who has the bar set just a little higher due to past greatness. Sabrina Johnson looks incredible and is so such a hot fucking piece of ass I can hardly stand it. Stryc-9, banished from the fold or not is a total hottie whom I would give vital bodily organs to violate. Jessica Darlin taking Lexington Steel gets my early not for hottest scene of the year. This blonde is the consummate porn slutlet. Iroc and Alexandra Nice team up for a scene that in any other tape would be highlight material. Iroc, whenever you’re ready to sit down for an interview and show me why they call you foot queen, consider me at your disposal. Finally, Tiffany Mynx. Is there anything left to say about this woman that won’t be gratuitous worship? (I just can’t believe I was able to sit next to you in my car without firing off a warning shot.) Now that Tom has a second perfect ten under his belt he can go for a third. I think even Mark McFuckingGwire would be impressed by that. Tom Byron is the King of the wall to wall vids, all hail the King!! (Hmmm, Whack Attack 8, the Rog Fantasy Scenes, what a concept.)