PERVERTED STORIES 23
OVERALL RATING: 8
105 Mins.
DIRECTOR: Jim Powers
JM Productions
THEMES: Star Wars, Clowns, Pseudo-Bestiality, Anal Sex.
CONDOMS: None Noted
1999
STARS: Katie Gold, Vivi Anne, Brigett Kevkove, Harley Rain, and Priscilla Jane with Bruno Roy L Shaft, JJ Michales, Chris Charming, Erik Everhard, Dave Hardman and Burger.
REVIEW:
This series has been a bit up and down in the past. Sometimes the sex is just incredible and at others the line between the perverse and the revolting gets obliterated. (And yeah, sometimes both sides of that line can be appealing.) However, for this one, I have two solid reasons for putting it to the front of the review line. The first is the awesome shot of Katie Gold on the front. I’ll watch her in anything and likely come away loving her sweet face and petite little body more every time. The second reason to review this right away is to comment on a long overdue sexual parody. I have been waiting fifteen years for someone in porn to finally take advantage of a scene with such stunning sexual imagery that it is ingrained in the mind of every straight male in America for the last two generations. Yes, someone has finally taken the Princess Leah/Slave Girl scene from Jedi and turned it into a little piece of porn history. How well it is done, and how good the rest of the movie may be, will not be known until I end this opening and get to the actual movie.
Katie Gold may not be the perfect Princess Leah, but she is a perfect slutlet, so I’m all for seeing her play slave girl. Where Lucas spent millions of dollars and used dozens of puppeteers to bring us the evil gangster Jabba, director Jim Powers just found an actor who spent countless hours in front of a TV eating dozens of (Grosses of) donuts to prepare for his role as Jabba the Butt, the human slug. He may be a frightening sight, but this creature forces the Princess to do what we all knew she did off screen, suck the nearest cock. Katie puts up a good fight, but once she gets a look at a big cock, her attitude changes drastically. The dude in the background wolfing whipped cream from the can is a bit distracting, but any time we get to watch Ms. Gold go apeshit over a cock, it’s a good thing. This long blowjob is an incredible example of how fucking hot Katie is. Even with some questionable lighting and the growling in the background, this is a rod stiffening scene. (And it goes beyond the sort of Star Wars fantasy that would make the alt.sex.stories crowd go wild.) After being forced to suck, the Princess has her tight little choochie filled with alien dick. As always, Katie takes dick like a total freak and looks beautiful the whole time. You have to get around the fat guy’s running commentary, but the heat is still clear. Even her ass gets fucked and you just know that somewhere, Carrie Fisher has to be freaked out by the fact that so many guys envisioned her doing just this many times over in their masturbatory moments. Great anal action as Katie clearly loves being an ass fucking Princess. Finally, we get a great shot across her pretty face. The Empire Spurts Back.
Taking things from strange to just downright bizarre, we get “When Clowns Go Bad.” JJ Michaels is enjoying a nice chat with his wife, Harley Rain and her friend Vivi Anne. (His real life spouse) In walk a couple of foul mouthed clowns bent on mayhem. They attack his ‘wife’ and make him watch. Harley is more than happy to give them some dick, but JJ is sent into screaming fits of “Oh God, I can’t believe my wife is sucking clown cock!” (All those acting lessons paying off with brilliant dialog like this eh JJ?) Harley is a total harlot, loving the attention of the horny clowns, who force JJ to fuck her friend. Harley is quite a slut, but Vivi is the real cutie here. Moving back and forth gets a little tiresome, but there is plenty to enjoy watching. Vivi eventually gets over her shyness and starts fingering her pussy while Harley gets her ass banged. This huge hootered chick is a super anal slut and we get right up and close to watch the clowns go colon crunching. She even gets DP’d with no problem. Talk about your clown loving sluts. In the end, the clowns blast Harley’s face with ball batter, while JJ drops his on Vivi’s pretty smile.
Brigett is a poor housewife who is just minding her own business when a couple of escaped gorillas happen to find her house. She tires to clam them down with bananas, but they are more interested in feeding her their cocks. Like any good porn chick, Brigett is curious and decides to go down on the two hairy beasts. (Are we sure these are gorilla suits and not just Ron Jeremy and Rod Fontana?) It’s a little hard to watch a woman get fucked with gorilla suits because she gets obscured. I guess if you have some bestiality fantasies and want to see them lived out without actually seeing a woman fuck a monkey, this is a scene you will cherish. The apes DP the nasty blonde, making her scream out and probably making her re-think that humans only sex policy. This nasty bitch just goes ape for the extreme anal pounding she takes and happily gobbles their cum from the banana in her hands.
Priscilla Jane is a very bad wife. She pisses on the toilet seat and doesn’t keep food in the house. Her husband tries to teach her a lesson by shoving her into the refrigerator and peeing on her. (Off camera.) Somehow this turns her man on and he makes her suck his little cock. Priscilla is OK looking, but the whole setup is just so filled with hatred that it lacks the humor and charm of some of the other scenes. Add a nasty tat across her lower belly and I am ready to hit rewind and re-watch Katie faster than you can say ‘running out of ideas.’ There is the usual fucking, sucking and anal wrecking here, but overall it’s a pretty weak effort. Oh, he does shoot in her ass, make her expel it and then drink it. Joy.
This is definitely a case of saving the worst for last. In fact, each scene in this movie is a little less entertaining that the last. Of course, the opener is a total scorcher and well worth the movie on it’s own. Katie is fucking fantastic as the slutty Princess we all want to bone. A whole movie with this kind of humor and edge would be a great idea. The clown thing is a bit strange, but Harley Rain is such a total whore and Vivi Anne is so damn cute, it’s also a really good scene. Watching dudes in gorilla suits DP a blonde slut might qualify as over the top in some videos, but in this one it’s still a lot more watchable than the final scene. In fact, watch the first three, then rewind, watch Katie again. You’ll thank me big time.