Rog Blog: 12/15 Lizzy Borden Dead….and not, Amazing Race

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Rog Blog 12/15

Amazing Race, Lizzy Borden & Peace, Love the Gap

The Amazing Race: Is it just me, or was the final episode of this year’s Amazing Race totally anti-climactic? It seemed like the models were just bound to win and nothing even remotely interesting happened. Overall it was a good season, but the finale just kind of went flat. Why couldn’t the cheerleaders have stuck around for a bit.

Eye Candy: Speaking of Cheerleaders, Stacy and Lacey finish cheer practice.

Lizzy Borden is Dead…but Having a Birthday Party: OK, so porn’s own Lizzy Borden hasn’t actually passed on. It was Elizabeth “Lizzie” Bolden, of Memphis who passed on earlier this week. She was the oldest living woman in the world and had held the title for three months. The deceased Lizzy freed slaves, worked as a farmer suffered a stroke leaving her unable to speak. Porn’s Ms. Borden shoots old ladies being sodomized, likes to watch women eat up their own vomit and is never at a loss for something to say. Our Lizzy is far from dead and is hosting a killer party to celebrate her 30th birthday next week. I’m going to make may way up for that one and hopefully get some good pictures and sound clips for you all to enjoy. Interesting enough, neither Lizzy ever chopped up her parents with an ax.

Eye Candy: Pic of the day from Sperm Swallowers.

Voting Process: I finished off my AVN Awards ballot last weekend and I have to say it was an exhausting process. Don’t believe me? Try watching a few hundred movies in a matter of a few weeks. There were some very interesting categories and though I am pretty sick of porn after all that, I enjoyed the process. It reminded me that while we often complain about how much mediocre (or downright bad) porn there is, there is also some very good stuff out there. It was a pretty strong year without a whole lot of run away favorites. With all the crap that gets thrown around about these awards, I have to say that it’s quite an undertaking, not an exact science and a whole lot of fun. And on a side note, I have never accepted sexual favors in exchange for a vote in the AVN awards, but the RogReviews Critic’s Choice nominations are due out in a week. I’m quite open to such negotiations. (Come on, does anyone really think I’m serious?)

Eye Candy: Speaking of…isn’t Sativa Rose up for some awards?

That annoying Gap Ad: I freely admit that I had no idea who the guy rapping in that Gap ad was before last night when I looked it up on the internet. Now I know that it’s some guy named Common. OK, fine. Knowing his name doesn’t change the fact that the commercial is perhaps the most annoying piece of crap I’ve seen in a long time. The song is horrible, his attitude is nauseating and that whole dance number on the giant gold peace symbol just screams of everything vile and ugly about commercialism around this time of year. I did some poking around to find out who the guy was and found some really harsh attacks on this ad. Most of them were from hilarious lefty nut-bar sites that didn’t like the suburbanization of the “hood” or the “corporatization” of the holiday. Even those posters who loudly professed their lack of belief in Christmas were offended. (How the fuck does that work.) Though their reasons were scattered and nonsensical, I’ll agree with any who wishes to the end of “Peace, Love, the Gap.” Please, please make it go away/

Eye Candy: Speaking of The Gap, how about some cleave-fucking from FuckMyMelons.com.

Sick Senator: No, this isn’t the name of Eli Cross’s follow up to Corruption, it’s a little story about the politics of our country. Earlier this week, South Dakota Senator Tim Johnson suffered a brain hemorrhage that had his live in peril for a few days. Though he appears to be recovering now, I was disgusted by the early news coverage of his illness. The sub-headline on the news story on the AOL sign in page asked what his condition might do to the “balance in the Senate.” The major networks couldn’t slip the political angle into the story fast enough. If something were to happen to Senator Johnson, the Republican Governor of South Dakota would be allowed to appoint a replacement. So here is this man, a 59 year old man with a family and a life outside of the politics, teetering on the brink of death and all we could talk about was if it might tip the Senate into a 50-50 tie. Give me a freaking break. I really wish the Governor would put an end to all of this by promising to appoint another Democrat to take Johnson’s place should he be unable to return to the Senate. I realize that this won’t happen, but it’s the right thing to do. The Johnson family has enough to worry about without a bunch of political vultures circling the body waiting to see if the scales tip. It wasn’t just the Republicans either. They were rubbing their palms together and that’s pretty freaking disgusting. On the other side of the aisle, we had to watch Democrats crapping their pants wondering what they were going to do. Dude, could we at least let the guy get out of critical condition before you worry about that? This is the kind of crazy ass political bullshit that makes me sick. This is why it’s time to serious look at a Logical Moderate alternative. Get well Senator.

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