THE PIPELINE: MARCH 2004
Can you believe that it’s March already? Time flies when you’re watching smut. As the temperatures begin to rise, the Presidential primary races wind down and baseball teams hit spring training, there are plenty porn stories to fill our time. We have the usual star hissy fits, director movement and a whole dose of prime time porn stories thanks to the election and winter sweeps.
The Evil Empire has once again expanded, hiring Johnni Darkko. In a move that seems to be a shift for Evil Angel, Darkko landed the job after just under a year as a director. Darkko’s critical acclaim and a growing fan following helped him capture the attention of Evil Angel director Jules Jordan. In turn, Jordan showed his work to Stagliano who paid him perhaps the most glowing compliment a director could receive. “Darkko is maybe the best cameraman I’ve ever seen in porn. He really understands how to use natural light, composition, pacing, and the best camera angles to capture great sex.” Joining a company that boasts the likes of John Stagliano, John Leslie, Jules Jordan, Joey Silvera and Rocco Siffredi will only cement Darkko’s reputation as one of the hottest young directors on the scene.
Even though it’s still far too cold to the beaches, all eyes are on swimsuits at this time of year. The 40th annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue hit the stands amid the usual protest and lines of drooling fans waiting to see the latest supermodels showing off a lot of curves and very little fabric. Here in SoCal one of the busy-body groups has managed to get the ‘offending’ magazine pulled from two chain stores. The usual collection of right-leaning conservative groups (Men Against Pornography) and the left-leaning feminist organizations (NOW and Lennea Smith’s groups) have rattled some cages, but the magazine keeps flying off the shelves. It’s always nice to see the religious right and the feminist left stop bickering over abortion long enough to team up try and take away our right, isn’t it? (More on that later) Better luck next year y’all.
Patrick Collins shifts gears more often than the entire field at the Daytona 500. A few months back Elegant Angel announced that they would no longer be shooting features. Before that, they cancelled and then reinstated their numbered lines. Most recently they have signed a distribution deal with Devil’s Films and have now made another major shift in company direction. Beginning in March Elegant Angel will double video production. “We want to thank all the fans out there for their support,” Collins says, “Now that we are solely a production company we have been able to focus our energies in the area of our expertise. The results have been astonishing so far!” He attributes the success to a few key factors including Thomas Zupko’s recent gonzo efforts and the tireless efforts of AVN Award winning director William H. Collins also announced that Elegant Angel will pursue some big budget projects including a sequel to his own “Big Bottom Sadie” which he will shoot in HD. “We have a motto for 2004″ added Collins , ” that is called Back to the Basics: The Year of the Fan, which essentially means that we will be giving you kick-ass balls-to-the-wall–if it don’t make your dick hard, we lose–SMUT. We plan on making it a fun year and hope you all will come along for the ride.”
Since this is an election year, everyone is running around picking their favorite pet issues and running with them. AVN devoted an entire issue to how important this election is to the adult industry. In addition to the standard partisan politics and a healthy does of “the sky is falling” they determined that Howard Dean would be the best candidate to support. With Dr. Dean out of the race, expect them to stand in line and back up whoever has the right letter after his name. Throw in the Janet Jackson Super Bowl flap, Howard Stern’s new obscenity problems and the whole Rob Black mess and you have plenty of free speech topics to discuss around the water cooler.
Bisexual Britni has been nearly as busy since her retirement as she was when she was fucking on camera. Last month she shot an all-star lesbian fest with Ginger Lynn and Jewel De’Nyle and this month she has added two new titles to her resume. First she bought an adult (swingers) hotel in California. The AquaFinity (www.aquafinity.com) is located east of Los Angeles near Palm Springs is Brinti’s new home away from home and offers a comfortable setting for adults to play, explore and expand their horizons. Britni followed that announcement a few weeks later by announcing that she had been hired by Jewel De’Nyle and Platinum X Pictures as their publicist. She still has directing projects going so the petite blonde is going to keep as busy as ever.
Even though we are in between sports right now, there is still plenty of off-the-field antics to keep us entertained. Playoff hero and Red Sox killer Aaron Boone hurt himself in a pick up basketball game, costing himself a spot on the team and several million dollars. Smooth move Boone. Of course the Yankees are happy enough, filling the void with Alex Rodriguez and perhaps assuring themselves of yet another World Series title. The news is not as good for a lot of other baseball players as the steroid issue heats up once again. In football, things are nutty all over. Ravens’ running back Jamal Lewis, fresh off an amazing season, is up on drug charges that could land him in jail for a long time. USC fans, fresh off a championship season, are none too happy that all-world wide receiver Mike Williams is taking his size, skills and one-handed grabs to the NFL two years early. And in perhaps the most bizarre story of the month, disgruntled San Francisco 49’er receiver Terrell Owens has had a serious change of plans. All set to hit the road as a free agent, Owens made plenty of noise on the way out. The problem is that his agent failed to file the proper paperwork, leaving Owens stuck in the City by the Bay for another three years. Actually, he is contractually obligated to stay, but all indications are that the 9’ers will deal TO to any time willing to take on his salary and his ego. (Both of which are almost as enormous as his freaking talent.)
The Paris Hilton sex video has gone from rumor fodder to reality to major problem in just a few short months. First we had the short, night-vision clip the was supposed to be of the lovely Ms. Hilton. Then came look-alike porn girls on sites offering to sell the scene for big bucks. Last month I interviewed the owner of www.trustfundgirls.com about the full-length scene. At $50.00 per download with a five view limit, the owner of the footage stands to some serious bank. As if having one of the world’s most famous party debutantes sucking dick on camera weren’t enough, the guy in the scene, Rick Solomon is smack dab in the middle of the Howard Stern suspension controversy. During an appearance promoting the footage, Solomon talked about sex with his famous ex’s and dropped a racial slur that led to Stern being fined and suspended. All this because a rich little girl got a little freaky on camera. What is the world coming to?
That’s all the news that’s fit to print kiddies. It is time for me to go back into the mines. Yes, I know. None of you feel sorry for me. Back to work I go, reviewing porn, talking with hot girls and trying to keep up with all of the changes going on. Hey it’s not always glamorous and sometimes it can get down right dreary, but it beats that “real job” my mom keeps bugging me to get. Thanks to all of your for your continued support. With your help, I won’t have to go find that real job any time soon. At least not until the broadcast gig with the Celtics comes through.