Johnny Wadd
Johnny WaddMOVIE TYPE: Feature
75 Mins.
VCX
DIRECTOR: Bob Chin
THEMES: Classic Porn
CONDOMS: None
2008
STARS: John Holmes,
REVIEW-
Wow this is really a trip into the way-back machine. Most everyone has heard of John Holmes and nearly everyone is aware of the Johnny Wadd movies. They are so entrenched in the porn fabric that we saw it pop up in Boogie Nights. This is obviously a movie for people who love or are curious about the golden age of porn. The DVD transfer is good, but it is still a far cry from what we see today from a technical end. The picture is grainy and rough and the music is bound to make you laugh. Sexually the movie is so different from what we see today that it really is amazing. The way the scenes are shot and edited, the energy levels, everything is different. If you know that going in then you’re fine. Holmes is the star and fucks in all but one scene His acting is hysterically bad and yet better than many of his co-stars. That legendary cock is really the star though. Long before Viagra leveled the playing field, this monster turned every woman who saw it into a cock starved slut. On its own, this is a rather average golden age porn flick. The scenes aren’t great, the story is odd and clichéd, but that kid of makes it special. What makes this DVD really worth checking out is the bonus material. In addition to a classic movie, you get bonus sex scenes, a great interview with director Bob Chin and two full movies available for computer download. That’s a lot of classic porn for the price of one DVD. Consider this a must own for any serious golden age porn collection.
Like any good film noir, the adventure begins when a woman in need comes to visit a private dick. She hires Johnny to find her girlfriend, throws a grand at him as a retainer and then they seal the deal. It takes him longer to get her skirt off than it did to accept the job and talk her into sex. The pace seems foreign to us now. All that kissing and slowly taking off of clothes. Then things get really strange. She takes his cock out and it’s huge, but not rock hard from overdose levels of ED medication. She actually has to suck it to full size and does so without sounding like a fork stuck in a garbage disposal. He settles in between her legs and pushes his big dick up into her hairy hole. There are no acrobatic positions here, no crazy side show sex. It’s just John sliding that pole into a girl who warms up it pretty well and fucks him back a little and with the music rising to a laughable crescendo he cums all over her tits.
The missing girl’s sister shows up and offers to double his fee not to find her sister. She tosses two grand at him and confidently declares that she will be a must better piece of ass. He isn’t about to argue with her, especially when she strips down and rubs her pussy. Her confidence is a big turn on for him and this woman does seem to be able to take quite a bit more as she sucks him. She is a pretty woman who smiles as that big dick enters her from behind. He pulls out and shoots that load all over her back.
The missing girl’s mother is up next. Johnny calls her in, gets five grand from her and some head as well. This is MILF or GILF before the genre even existed. This woman delivers some of the worst dialog you will ever here. Whenever anyone does a porn parody is sounds just like this. Since this is the same scene we have already seen twice it falls on the female talent to make or break it. Sorry to say that this woman looks like she could be Holmes’ grandmother and just isn’t all that appealing. To add some spice to the scene she fucks herself with a bottle. It keeps him from fucking her I guess and we can be thankful for that.
John somehow tracks down the victim just as she is fleeing for her life. There is a hilarious chase and fight scene on the beach. Wadd saves the day and then hears her rich girl talk about how her captor had abused her. He forces himself on her, but she doesn’t exactly resist. At least it breaks the pattern and gets someone else involved. Eventually she does just fine, even getting on top while he fucks her. He cums all over her ass and apparently that is when she ran off to escape.
She is so grateful to Wadd that she just has to fuck him. We have seen it before, but this time she doesn’t pay him first. The pretty brunette fishes that legendary dick out of his pants and works her mouth on his shaft. After the blowjob, he goes down on her and then the movie just ends with a shot of the couple on the beach at sunset.
Bonus: Director’s Commentary, Interview with Bob Chin (Great historical look at the adult film industry, John Homes & the Johnny Wadd films.) John Holmes Slideshow, Trailers, Bonus Scenes (From Pizza Girls, Prisoner of Paradise, Taxi Girls and Tropic of Desire.) You also get two bonus movies playable on your computer. Pizza Girls & Prisoner of Paradise are included as digital files. The bonus package here is really great. It includes stuff for the collector and a lot of bonus sex as well.
