Weapons of Ass Destruction 5
MOVIE TYPE: All Sex
195 Mins.
Jules Jordan Video
www.JulesJordanVideo.com
DIRECTOR: Jules Jordan
THEMES:
CONDOMS: None
2006
7/06
STARS: Amy Reid, Cindy Crawford, Isabel Ice, Jasmine Tame, August, Jamie Elle, Jules Jordan, Steve Holmes, Erik Everhard,
Weapons of Ass Destruction 5
REVIEW-
On the day AVN announced a boatload of nominations for Jules Jordan, his video company and of course “Jenna Haze: Darkside” I get to review the latest in his “ass worshipping “Weapons of Ass Destruction” line. Like all of Jules’ lines, this one features some great highlights and expectations are high. People have come to expect great tease, a lot of ass footage and tons of anal action from this series. With a cast that includes anal queens like Cindy Crawford and Isabel Ice, there is a better than average chance that this will be an incredibly memorable addition to the JJ wing of every smut lover’s porn library.
Jules certainly gets plenty of use out of those nurse uniforms he has for the female talent. Amy has her perfect body all decked out a red fetish nurse uniform and white lace gloves. She makes her way up the stairs and finds Jules waiting in bed. They don’t even bother with the whole sample collection thing. She just takes his cock in her hand and bows her pretty head to suck it. Amy is the kind of girl who is pretty enough to get away with low energy scenes, but hot enough to never mail one in. Jules bends her over and fills her pussy with some slow strokes to get her juices all over his cock. Amy sucks it clean and then is ready for something up her ass. As good as she looks bent over like this; I still have to laugh at the ridiculous toy play. He sticks glass plugs up her ass and then has her clean them off. (Come on Jules, if it tastes that good, why aren’t you the one tasting it?) Amy seems to be just fine with toys or a real cock up her ass. We get great ass shots during cowgirl, but the best looking footage comes when he rolls her into piledriver. Jules finishes her off with a really nice shot on her beautiful face. We’re off to a really good start.
I’ve been a big Cindy Crawford fan for a very long time and I’m really glad to see her show up in this flick. Jules has her all decked out and ready to go. Cindy handles the tease well, sitting up on the barstool with her legs spread wide and her pussy on display. Steve Holmes and Erik Everhard come in to give her as much dick as any girl could possibly want. They shove toys into her holes, but she really likes the real thing. Steve shoves his into pussy and then has her clean it off while Erik is focusing on her fantastic ass. He pumps her pussy a few times, but soon has his prick buried her butt balls-deep. You have to love the high-energy fucking, especially during the RCA. Some of us have been waiting a long time to see Cindy turned loose with two of porn’s best performers working her over, she rises to the challenge. They roll her over for some face down DP that picks up the pace even more. Cindy matches their energy and does it without some of the silly theatrics that some of the new chicks have to throw in. They pound the living shit out of her ass and even manage some standing DP. After a great scene, things take a seriously stupid turn. Steve leaves his load in her ass and the camera zooms in as she farts it all over the camera. Cindy turns around and licks it off. Jules, when did you start channeling Martin Del Toro?
We have seen Isabel Ice do some amazing anal scenes, but we haven’t seen her look quite as fucking good as she does walking through Jules’ door. I love the booty shorts, but Jules has her change into some tight pants that provide us with plenty of great butt shots. Moving her back inside, Jules turns Isabel over to Erik and Steve. Erik rips the pants and bends her over for easy access. With Steve’s big cock in her mouth, Isabel is a very busy girl. She is all wound up and the guys match her frantic energy with some serious fucking. This is what high-energy sex should look like. It isn’t a bunch of robots shoving medicated cocks into lifeless porn holes. Isabel has what appears to be a genuine love for cock and the guys give it to her like they actually enjoy women. Of course they do through in some double hole stuffing to slow things down. Double anal totally bores me, but for fans, there is plenty to enjoy. What I really can’t understand is the creampie/cumfart finish. Like Cindy’s scene, this one was pretty much perfect, but ends with a freakshow ending that belongs in a movie with a sex act in the title, not something like this.
Jasmine Tame provides some really nice tease footage. There is good butt coverage, but she shows off her other assets as well. The guys come in and shove toys up her ass. Enjoy this part and either dig the pointless A2M or skip over it. I’ve never really seen Jasmine do a scene that stuck in my memory, but she looks pretty good here and is happy to talk dirty as she climbs onto some hard meat. Erik anchors the action, slamming her pretty ass as hard as he can. Most of the scenes have featured some light choking, but that becomes a bit more pronounced in this scene. The standing DP action is quite energetic and very well shot. I am tempted to say that this is the best Jasmine Tame scene I have ever seen, but I have this sneaking suspicion that we’re headed towards another anal cream pie, and yep that is just what we get to close out disc one.
We start disc two with one of my favorite unsung babes, August. He is showing off her fantastic in a hot little bikini. The tease is fantastic as always and any guy would be crazy not to be sporting wood long before she starts sucking. August backs her ass up into his lap and grinds away. He rolls her over and fucks that pussy hard enough have her nearly screaming and her natural tits shaking all over the place. Her ass gets warmed up with a plug before taking the real thing. We have already seen that August has a great ass, but as we see here, she is also a fantastic anal performer. Keeping the energy level night and high, she throws her legs back over her head and talks enough to keep Jules almost silent behind the camera. This scene ends with a great facial as August rubs her pussy and helps him nut all over her. Too bad the rest of the scenes don’t end this well.
Jamie Elle gives us great tease in her bikini as well. Steve Holmes comes by and is busy jerking off in the bathroom while Jamie plays with her tits outside. Eventually they get together and decide that it would be more fun to do each other. She bends over and reaches back to stroke that long cock. It’s a very big dick for such a cute young thing, but that doesn’t stop Jamie from worshipping it with her mouth like a good little slut. They move inside where she uses both hands and her mouth to deliver some nut bustingly good porn. She is more than happy to let him into her other holes. Steve takes care of the action, ramming her tight little ass from behind. Jamie takes it well, opening up and sliding down on his pole. As we have seen too often in this movie, a fantastic stroke scene ends with an internal anal shot that is pushed out so she can lick it up. There is a second shot in her mouth, but I don’t see why Jules is going for the freakshow market.
The extras include a BTS reel, Cumshot recap, cast list, photo gallery, trailers and director bio.
This movie has some fantastic scenes and moments of sheer brilliance. The tease footage is especially fantastic and is vintage Jordan. I’m stunned by the anal cream pie and cum fart finishes though. Other directors go down this road because that is what they offer to offer. Jules has a lot more than that and we see evidence of that throughout this project. The tease in this movie is stunning and borders on perfection. Jules seems to understand that most porn loving guy (And probably the girls in the audience) actually like women and enjoy seeing them in all their glory. Any idiot can shoot a close up of a girl for two seconds before turning a pair of Readi-wood warriors loose on her. Once the sex starts, Jordan handles it with his usual skill. Those shooters trying to emulate his fluid style and failing miserably (You know who you are) should watch this movie to see what they are doing wrong. We could probably use a little less chatter from behind the camera, but mostly the sex is well shot, hot and easy on the eyes. August and Cindy are particularly hot in their scenes. We all know that these women can be this hot, but few directors take the time to make it look this good. Amy Reid’s scene is also worth note. It’s pretty easy to see why Jules kept her for himself. With all the praise, why only a B? It’s the freakshow finishes that drag WAD 5 down. If I want to see Gaping Cumfarts I know which directors to turn to. We turn to Jules because he has enough skill and vision to make such freak show antics totally unnecessary.
