Reality Sucks

OVERALL RATING: 8

MOVIE TYPE: Feature

90 Mines.

VCA

www.vcapictures.com

DIRECTOR: Mickey G

THEMES: Comedy, Reality-TV

CONDOMS: None Noted

2004

4/04

STARS: Charmane, Michelle Michaels, Kimberly Kane, Violet Blue, Eve Lawrence, Alana Evans, Jean Val Jean, Scott Styles, Sasha, Mickey G & Steve Hatcher.

REVIEW-

Reality TV is everywhere and porn has already taken a fair number of shots at the genre. There have even been some “reality” porn movies made. I haven’t seen a feature that pokes fun at reality TV though. Not recently anyway. One of my all time favorite X-rated flicks was WPINK-TV which featured some great TV parodies. Veteran meat slinger Mickey G is behind the camera for this comedic send up of shows like “Fear Factor”, “The Dating Game” and “Average Johnson” He has hired a pretty damn fine looking cast including the always stunning Charmane, the every hotter Kimberly Kane and even Alana Evans. She has been kind of low-key lately, but few women in porn can fuck like she can. The cast is hot and ready to have a good time poking fun at some of our favorite reality TV shows.

The first show is called “Beer Factor” and the unlucky contestant has to do a really hard stunt while chugging a beer or he ends up going home with a real beast. (A dude in a purple wig.) By the time he is done, the beer goggles are working and we see what he sees. Suddenly the dude in the wig becomes Charmane. Those are some serious beer goggles. The cute little babe gives his balls a thorough licking as she works her way to the head of his cock. Any time this girl is giving head, the scene is hot looking. She has such a pretty face that it almost a shame to watch her move up onto his rod. Then again, she has a gorgeous pussy, tight body and looks good from every angle so we are in great shape. He bends her over and takes her from behind, working that pussy and giving us some great shots of her sexy ass. She lies flat on the bed as he shoots a load all over her back and rubs his cock on the crack of her ass. Man this is hot if you don’t think about the fact that he is really supposed to be boning a big fat dude in a skirt.

We get a little background on the movie and how Mickey G gave Porny Van Horny a chance to write a script about reality shows. We do a little “Mating Game” segment next with Eve Laurence and Kimberly Kane as the contestants who choose and share Mickey. They are all over each other before he can even get his pants off. When he joins the fun, Eve goes right for his cock while Kimberly settles under her friend for some hot 69. Kimberly is quite sexy in this scene, but I am really impressed by Eve. Her tits look fantastic and she has a way of fucking Mickey silly while giving Kimberly a look that says she wants to tear them both up. They are so hot together that they pretty much reduce Mickey to a meat puppet until he finally shoots onto their faces. Damn these girls are sexy.

Michelle Michaels and T.J. Cox don’t really do much of a set up. He just lifts her skirt and licks her meaty pussy. She is a very cute girl who gets fucked before she starts sucking. Nothing wrong with that as long as we eventually get some good blowjob footage. What we end up with though is an abbreviated suck-off that gives way to some very hot cowgirl sex. Michelle shows some good potential and a very nice body, but this scene is just not shot as well as the others. The angles are bit off and it buries her enthusiasm. (Dude, in doggy why are we looking at the monster zit on T’J.’s thigh?) She takes a decent facial at the end. This is the weakest scene so far, but I’m going to looking for more stuff from this little cutie.

In “Meat My Folks” Steve Hatcher is hooked up to a lie detector. He wants a shot at Violet Blue and only her parents, Scot Styles and Alana Evans, stand in the way. When he fails to convince them that he wants to bone her, Violet runs away to sulk. Mickey helps her out by brining in a sexy French stud named Jean. She gets over her disappointment quickly with the young guy between her parted legs. I always liked Violet as a blonde, but there is something totally hot about her in every scene she does. Her pussy is quite sexy and I love her body. Still, it’s the face that does it for me. The way she looks at the gay when she sucks his cock, the way she works her lips and down the shaft. Yeah, I have it bad for Violet. So bad that even some fucked up angles during the blowjob don’t bother me too much. He pushes her knees back to her chest and starts fucking her hard. Violet is having a ball when she is on top, but the all of the action is shot from as close as humanly possibly so we miss the good shots of her entire body. She moves into RCA and pumps up and down, working his cock with her tight asshole. Violet always gives great A and this time we get to really enjoy her legs, butt and face as well as her stuffed sphincter. Jean gives her ass a little lick before sticking into her from behind, reaming that sexy backdoor and finally shooting on her butt.

That just leaves mom and dad to fuck Steve. Well, let’s hope that Steve and dad fuck mom…errrr, Steve and Scott fuck Alana. They are already naked and ready to go. Dirty Alana is ready to take them both and she isn’t afraid to moan loudly with her mouth full of hard dick. As she works them both, Alana makes sure to keep things nice and wet and even manages a little bit of eye contact a she proves once again to be one of the hottest cock suckers in the biz. Something about this scene feels rushed and choppy which is too bad. Steve settles in behind and gets her pussy all worked up while they wait for the right time to fill that willing asshole. She spreads wide for some RCA and just bounces like she could take ten more. In comes dick two and the guys give her all they’ve got. We have all seen Alana take a lot more size in both holes so it isn’t a shock that she makes short work out of these two. The DP footage is nicely shot though and her mouth is wide open for two big loads of cream that Alana licks up like the awesome slut she is.

There are some pretty fumy moments in this movie, especially if you happen to enjoy reality-tv. The sex is pretty good as well and that is always a welcome aspect to a feature. Alana’s scene is a nice way to end the movie though it felt rushed from the start. Violet is hot as always, turning in a really nice looking anal scene. We would all love to see her get some big loads on her face, but we’ll take what we can get for now. Charmane looks phenomenal as always and really gives us a good scene in this flick. I think her scene is probably my favorite of a pretty good bunch. Michelle Michaels shows some promise and if she can become as good as Kimberly or Eve then she will have a nice career ahead of her. Mickey G has put together a pretty nice little feature here. The sex is fairly good, the cast really sexy and the comedy works more often than not. And the good news is that there is enough reality-TV to make fun of for a couple of sequels.