Wrong Snatch



110 Mins.

VCA- 1997

DIR: Veronica Hart

STARS: Juli Ashton, Nikita, Stephanie Swift, Hayley Lynn, Monti, Ian Daniels, Kyle Stone, Johnny Packwood, Holland, Nick East, Tony Tedeschi, Scotty Schwartz, Alexis Devall,

THEMES: Nymphomaniacs, Comedy.



How many companies actually go out of their way to make movies with something that vaguely resembles a plot? OK, besides, VCA, Vivid and Metro? See, not so fucking easy now is it smart ass? Granted, the vast majority of porn plots make those WB shows look as complex as a Clancy novel, but once in a while, it’s nice to have something to talk about besides gaping assholes, sticky facials and the attributes of saline implants.

Nikita plays a European model making her first trip to America. (We hear this via the airport loudspeaker.) As she makes her way through the terminal, with Scotty Schwartz lugging her bags, she is being tailed by a mysterious man in a trench coat. It seems Nikita has landed at LAX when she was due in Burbank. What’s a high priced model to do? Is she the victim of some hideous plot, or just a terrible accent? Both it seems since the man in the coat shoves her into a van that speeds away from the curb. (Speeding away at LAX, come on, can’t we have SOME realism?) In the van, Juli Ashton lets the model know her evil plan. The problem it seems, is that Juli thinks that Nikita is actually a secret agent who caused her to become a raving nymphomaniac. OK, it makes for a weird fucking plot, but it does get Juli out of her pants so that Mr. Trench Coat (Johnny Packwood.) can satisfy that aching hunger between her thighs. Funny, Nikita doesn’t seem all that tortured watching Juli fuck this guy. In fact, she looks downright bored. What, is she fucking blind? How can anyone be bored watching someone as pretty as Juli get her puss plowed? Maybe she is bored, because Johnny can hardly get his little dick hard enough to fuck lovely Juli. What a waste.

Kyle Stone plays a Colonel with the Secret Service. (Why the fuck is he in a military uniform?) He is training a new agent, Monti, how to be a good White House intern (Allegedly.)….errrr secret agent. This girl is very cute and knows how to keep her superior very happy with an active and apparently talented mouth. After she sucks a load right her mouth, she smiles and exits. (Now THAT is the fucking life.) That done, duty calls and Stone has to dispatch one of his agents to find the real double agent who has vanished. (Watch it, if you don’t follow the plot, you just might miss it.)

Back in an abandoned warehouse, Juli’s constant burning needs more attention, so she attacks her prisoner. Nikita has a lot more appeal with her clothes off and a tit in her mouth and Juli, is just Juli, smoking up the screen as always. This is one of those scenes that would be standard lesbian fare were it not for the beauty and on screen heat of Ms. Ashton. That pretty face, that sweet voice, that smooth pussy, all add up to make one delectable porn starlet. Nikita doesn’t seem to be fighting things by the end of the labe lapping session, breaking out a dildo and fucking Juli silly with it before taking the other end into her own steaming love clam.

The operative sent to find the missing rouge agent is Ian Daniels. He and new recruit Stephanie Swift watch a film of Ms. Ivana Suckuov in action. No wonder Juli thinks Nikita is the double agent, the chick in film looks just like the captured model. (Both are played by Nikita.) Watching the Euro-babe work over two stiff cocks gets Daniels and Swift hot and bothered. The problem is, I am way more interested in watching Stephanie than I am Nikita and can’t wait for the three way to end so I can get to what I want. Of course, I can think of worse things to sit through while waiting than this blonde emphatically fuck two studs. In fact, the DP and double face creaming are downright hot.

The scene has the two agents so hot, they get lost in each other. You have to love Stephanie locked in a torrid 69 with her beautiful lips wrapped tightly around Ian’s hard cock. Let me tell you, given the choice between going out and hunting down killers and having Stephanie sit on my face, I’d choose the latter every time. (Oh come on Rog, face it, given the choice, you would let Steph sit on your face over just about any other option known to man.) These two really fuck with a lot of intensity, slapping bodies in several positions, each one showing off Steph’s wonderfully natural charms. Ian even takes his latex encased avenger up the back road. No doubt this trainee is going to pass her anal exam with flying colors.

Meanwhile, somewhere else, the real Ivana is posing as the model in order to stay hidden. When she notices someone following her, she quickly keeps herself hidden by practically attacking her photographer and his busty blonde assistant Haley Lynn. When Juli hears she has captured the wrong Euro, she orders the real Ivana be brought in. This messes up a three way, but lets Haley have her moment to shine in a well shot one on one fuck. Great rack, lovely shaved slit and a wild ass fuck. (In fact, Haley is a wild-ass fuck and she gets a wild ASS fuck.) What more do you need in a scene? How about a facial? Well, you can’t have everything. We get a weak little dribble on her big tits, but it’s still a hot pairing.

The agents are hot on the trail as Ivana is being brought in. Who will get the evil agent first, the sex hungry good guys, or Juli, the revenge minded raving nympho? Sounds like a plot idea from Melrose Place. As the plot twists and turns it becomes clear that we are heading for a final massive fuck. Nikita, Stephanie and Juli join Ian and Johnny for a group grope. I don’t know about you, but Steph and Juli is probably a lot more than any mortal man deserves. Ian handles his good fortune rather well, making sure to taste both tangy twats before finding out just how well the two porn super starlets suck cock. They both are expert at making inches of man meat vanish into warm, wet mouths. All this three way action overshadows poor Nikita who can’t hold a candle to one of these two women, let alone the both of them. Ian lays some serious wood to these two tight twats, nailing Steph from behind while Juli laps up the juices. Eventually, everyone gets in on that act and the five bodies intertwine in a big mass of heaving flesh. In the end, the women all share a nice facial and everyone lives happily ever after.

No doubt, there was some serious effort put into the script of this video. There are some genuinely funny moments and enough reason to keep watching in between the boning. Nikita, in her dual roles may be the star here, but Juli and Stephanie are the ones who clearly shine. These two superstars give great performances that will keep everyone hard and happy watching this tale of mistaken identity. Scottie Schwartz and Alexis Devall both give entertaining non sex performances as well. Also fun to watch in this tape are the oral only scene by super cute Monti and the outtakes at the end of the tape. Funny, sexy, cool. Great tape.

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