Heinie’s Heroes



97 Mins.
VCA- 1996
DIR: Jim Enright
STARS: Taylor Hayes, Jessica James, Micky Lynn, Coralie, Sofia Ferrari, Roxanne Hall, Tera Heart, Tony Tedeschi, Tom Byron, T.T. Boy, Jonathan Morgan, Ron Jeremy, Peter North.
THEMES: Anal Sex, Comedy.

Looking back on all the adult videos based on old TV comedies go, I can’t think of a one that was based on the incredibly bad show “Hogan’s Heroes.” I mean, imagine the pitch meetings. “You see, it’s a COMEDY, set in a Nazi prison camp, and instead of escaping the, prisoners think of wacky ways to foul the German plans up.” With that sort of material to start with, how can this X rated script give us any less laughs than it’s originator?
The story in a nutshell is that the Germans need an idiot dictator to throw the country into war. They enlist the help of Tony Tedeschi, who as usual, is pretty hilarious as the bumbling would be leader, talked into the job when he is told it’s a great way to meet “broads.” To prove the point, Jessica James, all decked out like a St. Pauli Girl comes in to serve her country. (And service her leader at the same time.) The little Nazi girl is quite a prize, fucking and sucking for her Fuhrer like the fate of the free world depends on it. After dumping a load on her belly, Tony is convinced to take the job.
While his puppet is being pumped, Jonathan is busy ousting Kaiser T.T. Boy. With her father dragged off and her country in distress, Taylor Hayes has to find a way to save the day. Across the globe, Roxanne Hall, a British secret agent, is sent in to obtain the secret battle plans. Several semi hilarious jokes later, (Most thanks to Mel Brooks.), the plot thickens.
With his plan working, Jonathan takes a little time out to enjoy the abuses of power himself. Eager to serve her country, Micky Lynn is ready to get down on her knees to help straighten out any difficulties that may arrise. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it for the seventieth time, it is a pleasure to watch this little woman suck cock. In no time, her trailer queen mug is frosted with jizz, making for a very nice oral only scene.
Disguised as a nurse, Roxanne makes her way into the military prison to get information from T.T. And hey, since she is there, how about a quick fuck in the cell for the road. Roxanne is mildly appealing at best, so this scene did not really capture my interest like some of the others in this video. It’s a pretty standard, suck, fuck and anal scene with a really good facial to top it off. Fans of Roxanne will really like it, but I was more interested in the rest of the cast.
Taylor takes a shot at the leader in an attempt to win back her country. The problem is, her aim is not so good and soon she finds herself in the clutches of Jonathan. When he explains that part of his plan is to keep her father alive, Taylor changes her tune and decides to show her appreciation in a most pleasing way. Taylor is absolutely one of the prettiest, hottest, nastiest, most incredible women to ever grace the blue screen. This is one of her earliest performances and already she shines like a porn superstarlet. Jon spends a long time with his mouth between her fantastic thighs and who can blame him, she has an incredibly edible pussy. By the time she gets around to returning the favor, Taylor seems almost frantic to get cock in her mouth. Anyone who, like me, has enjoyed her work in the Seymore Butts videos, knows that oral sex is an art when Taylor is involved. You just know she could suck a load out in no time, but they save up so we get to watch her pretty pussy get properly plowed. Never fear, after some great fucking, Jonathan unloads on her face and with a smile on her lips, Taylor rubs the sticky jizz into her skin. Fucking fantastic.
Tony is still busy chasing skirts, but Jon Jeremy shows up as the leader of a friendly nation. Ron, gives a hilarious performance. His presence leaves Tony hopping mad, but Tera Heart quickly takes his mind off his work by offering her pussy as a little mid day snack. Not only does he get Tera, but French maid Coralie as well. Now, I know Tera is a major anal queen, but for my money, Coralie is a Hell of a lot sexier. As the big titted Tera gets boned, little Coralie is busy shoving a strand of pearls up her ass. The combination of the these two women makes for plenty of oral, some multi position pussy probing (and I LOVE Coralie’s shaved pussy, quite pretty.) and a facial on the French girl’s face that dirty Tera licks off.
A three way of another kind is brewing in the room of dictator Jeremy. Italian super bimbo Sofia Ferrari finds herself stuck between two monster cocks in Jeremy and Peter North. Not a problem for a woman who has made a career of being as nasty as possible. Both cocks get a royal oral treatment and slide all the way into her little pussy. I like the little bit of Italian dirty talk Ron gets her to spew. Since this is an anal themed video, you just know Sofia is going to open her popper (Doesn’t she always?), and since it’s a DP with North and Jeremy, with the latter in her butt, you know that Rog is appropriately impressed. The only way to top this off is with a facial flood, that given Peter’s presence, you just know is a tidal wave of jizz. Quite nice, even from a girl I don’t usually care for.
Roxanne enlists the help of Tera who trades her charms of the war plans. All in all not a bad trade for Byron. A bit of cocksucking and by the time Tom gets down her pussy, Tera is already dripping wet with anticipation. All that lube makes sure Tom has a nice easy entry into her pussy. Pretty good three position fuck leading to a really nice shot onto Tera’s huge hooters. She licks cum from her boobs which makes this pop shot really great in my book.
After a really long final battle scene, Roxanne, Tera and Taylor get together to show why they don’t really need men. Now, you all know I can usually do without lesbian scenes, but I am going to watch anything Taylor does because I know she scorches no matter who she is with. She is the center of attention and looks fantastic. No wonder she became such a huge star so fast. Other than Taylor, it’s a basic finger and tongue fest.
This is a real treat, a funny, sexy adult video that works on all levels. The sex is highlighted by Taylor Hayes and Micky Lynn’s wet blowjob. Outstanding comedic performances by Tedeschi, Morgan and Jeremy make this not only a sexy vid, but also a fun one. I can recommend this highly.


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