DIR: Paul Thomas
STARS: Christy Canyon, Steven St. Croix, Jenteal, Krista Maze, Tracy Love, Toni, Kitty Monroe, Tony Tedeschi, Vince Voyeur, Michael Knight, Scottie Schwartz,
THEMES: Porn Stars, Comedy, Big Tits
No production company is all of porndom can come close to Vivid Video in terms of star power, glitz or market share. Paul Thomas and crew have done a very effective job of cleaning up porn’s unsavory image, making female friendly sex vids that border on mainstream. While this has often come at the expense of hot, hardcore sex, every once in a while Thomas does a project so good that even a somewhat jaded smut vet like me has to take notice. Usually when this is the case, it is the script, (Gasp) that draws me to such a feature. In a porn world dominated by Gonzo, wafer thin premises that sadly pass for plots and flat out wall to wall sex tapes, it is a rare gem to find an X video that is actually written on something other than a six inch piece of toilet paper two minutes before shooting begins.
After all that talk of script, it is the sex that first catches the attention. Steven St. Croix gets the lap dance to end all lap dances from sexy blonde, Kitty Monroe. In no time at all, her dancing skills have given way to her oral talents as she sucks him off while cramming her ass full of a long vibrator. (Hey, is this what they cut out of Showgirls?) This rather sexy young woman is all natural, totally shaved, has a nose ring, takes it in the ass and even lets St. Croix shower her mug with jizz. This is NO Vivid girl. It is, however a rousing way to start a video. Too bad for Steven that she ends up being an absolute nutbar.
How that ties into Steven’s job as the host of a late night talk show is not entirely clear up front, but once we get to the studio, “The Show” really falls into its rhythm. Just like a real studio, things are in total chaos, a situation made worse by the elevator, stuck on the third floor by a masturbating Jenteal. Few, if any women in the history of porn are even in the same league with Jen when it comes to sheer beauty. This alone makes her dildo love fest something fun to watch. Too bad her scene gets cut short by the start of the show.
St. Croix plays host to this porn oriented late night show, with Tony Tedeschi as his wisecracking sidekick. His opening monologue consists of one joke, but hey, it’s a Ron Jeremy joke, so how can you help but laugh? The chemistry stops when the camera turns off however, as St. Croix and Tedeschi are not the best of friends. Both of these guys are credible actors and their dialog scenes are fun to watch.
Fresh off her self fucking, Jenteal hits the set to give one Hell of an interview. How much is real and how much is made up for the script is anyone’s guess, but it comes off like a question answer session rather than something spoken strictly from rote. It is entertaining to watch, and we get some great shots of her legs as Tony stares at the lovely creature beside him.
As soon as the camera cuts off, the two stars rush off the set. Steven goes in search of guest Christy Canyon, while Tony stumbles upon an eager starlet, Tracy Love, trying to audition for a part. He has no problem playing casting couch with this very slutty young woman. While Tony runs her through the paces, Steven is on the brink of panic over a the crazed woman stalking him. (Keep track people, the blonde from the first scene.) He races back on the set, sans partner, just in time to introduce a film clip of Jen’s latest work. While they watch, Tony drops a load of jizz all over Tracy’s tongue. He missed his stage cue, but for some reason he doesn’t seem to mind.
The fake audition is not bother to Tracy, who turns her affections first to Producer Vince Voyeur, and then, when he is called away, to Michael Knight. Don’t you just love an actress who is willing to go to such lengths? In between all this crazed action, porn mascot Scottie Schwartz takes a turn doing his Andrew Dice Clay impersonation, which when mixed with Tedeschi’s Ed McMahon makes for an annoying bit of soundtrack. Meanwhile, Tracy has her blowjob with Knight interrupted by an intern, Krista Maze, who has her heart set on giving the willing actress her own tryout. .
St. Croix finally meets up with Christy Canyon, who is less than friendly to the overzealous host. Her attentions turn quickly to make up girl, Toni. This scene gets intercut with the Love/Maze lez fest, making for an all out pussy feast. Christy still looks fantastic, a true legend of adult cinema if ever there was one. Her homegrown hooters make a perfect snack for first her own lips and then her new friend’s.
Tracy is having a screaming good time with Krista when Voyeur comes back in to bust them up. (Damn, doesn’t Tracy ever get to finish a scene with one partner.) Now, the action switches to a hetero romp. Banished from the room and order to attend to the talent, Krista is happy to oblige when Ms. Canyon asks the beautiful young woman to put her tongue somewhere untraveled by the porn vet. That’s right porn fans, after nearly a decade and a half, Christy Canyon has what is as close to anal sex as she has ever had on screen. Of course, at the same time, Tracy is sticking three fingers up her own butthole in preparation for Vince’s cock, showing why she is one of the new anal Princesses of porn.
Christy, while nowhere nearly the rectal slut Tracy is, does get a small dildo shoved where nothing has been shoved before. I have to admit, this is a great turn on after all these years, to see Christy holding her big round asscheeks open for even this minuscule invader. The rest of the scene is pretty hot as well, with Ms. Canyon slamming into Toni with a good sized strap on cock while Krista fucks her own ass with a dildo. Great three way lez scene.
Back on the set, St. Croix is busy acting out an old traveling salesman joke, with a twist. Someone is actually on the other side of the glory hole sucking his cock. Anyone who saw the original Police Academy will see this gag coming a mile away, but hey, it’s a great excuse for another nice facial by stalker Kitty.
Meanwhile, Tracy has once again been passed back to Knight. (Think she’ll get the part?) Does anyone else think this snarling blonde gutter mouth looks a bit like a bleached out Julia-Louis Dreyfuss? She is really sexy and scores high in both the looks and nastiness categories.
All this leads up to main event, the interview with Christy Canyon. Christy is wonderful delivering dialog that is quite interesting and a sexy build up to the final scene. She has a grace and ease in front of the camera that is almost as big a factor in her stardom as her incredible chest. The interview slips nicely into a bit of on camera pussy licking and then into a full blown fuck fest. St. Croix and Tedeschi both get to sample their infamous guest right there on the couch. (Anyone think it would be cool to have Letterman and Shafer piledrive Sharon Stone next time she’s on?) Christy is just incredible here, sucking and fucking the trio of hard studs with more fire and lust than she has in some time. Thankfully there is always a cock in her mouth, letting us see plenty of shots of her sucking dick. If that isn’t enough to keep it long and straight, then you need to get your eyes or your libido checked. To show just what a legend she still is, Christy holds her claims to fame together, providing all three men with a perfect target for their sperm scuds. Even after the triple shots, Christy keeps right on fucking, looking incredible standing on the desk, riding a cock like a wild woman, with her tits shaking about, and finally, on her back screaming her way to climax. Christy Canyon is a porn Goddess second to none.
The acting in this Vivid production is outstanding, the script is well written and funny, and the sex is outstanding. Christy is at her very best, Tracy Love is a woman to watch out for, and Jenteal is just plain drop dead gorgeous. (I do wish she had let a real cock penetrate her as dee
p as her plastic one did.) While I am not in the habit of recommending Vivid videos to people so wholeheartedly, this one I do so with pleasure.

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