SLUTS, BUTTS & HOUSEWIVES

OVERALL RATING: 8+

107 Mins.

DIRECTOR: Lizzy Borden

Extreme Associates

THEMES: Housewives, A2M, Anal Sex.

CONDOMS: None Noted

1999

STARS: Jasmin St. Claire, Alana, Iroc, Jessica Jewel, Jon Dough, Randee Lee.

REVIEW:

Just a few days ago, I gave a Lizzy Borden movie a perfect score. (For Extreme Monique.) Now, in keeping with the featured line of the month (Extreme Associates) I have a second Lizzy movie in less than a week. While this one doesn’t star the awesome Monique, it does give us Jasmin St. Claire (Who would qualify in the Slut category from the title), Iroc (who scores high in the Butt category) and Alana (Who may be a housewife, but sure doesn’t look or fuck like one.) Will she pull off back to back tens? No guarantees there. Will Jasmin take it in the ass? That’s about as sure a bet as whether or not Iroc will give some guy a footjob. I have to say, I like the concept. What could be better than a neighborhood of hot women who do nothing but fuck around on their husbands with plumbers all day? (Lot’s of things could be better.) OK, what could be more ‘porn’ than a bunch of housewives getting their share from workmen? (Better.)

Jasmin is a woman with a strange way of showing her undying love for her husband Billy Glide. She berates him openly, playing the total bitch perfectly. Though the only reason she keeps him around his cock, it’s a pretty big reason and her mouth goes from foul to full faster than you can say ‘Suck my fucking cock you stupid whore.” Say what you want about Jasmin, but she doesn’t shy away from big cocks and her oral skills are top notch. Billy plants his wife on his face and makes her writhe around while trying to shove all that cockmeat down her throat. Nice close up shot as he enters her pussy. Jasmin’s ass is right in the camera and Billy’s cock looks like a tree splitting her in two. He is not at all afraid of fucking her raw. The special effects look that was missing from Extreme Monique creeps in a bit here. Not a lot, but enough for me to notice. (So as not to anger my critics, I must cover the next statement with the following warning. The opinion about to be offered is my own, and should in no way be seen as an attempt to declare what is good or not good in porn. Thank you.) It’s just not good to ever cloud the picture when we have a hot slut getting porked in the ass. Keep it simple and show us the good stuff. Save the edit board tricks for the title sequence. Billy’s got a big dick, but Jasmin loves it deep and that’s just where he goes, pounding her butt until she screams. To finish off the scene, Jasmin plays with her pussy as Billy jerks a big load right into her mouth and on her face. She may have married him for his cock, but Billy must have married Jasmin because she’s such a cum sucking fuck pig.

Jon Dough takes exception to his wife Iroc and her coupon clipping. In typical porn fashion, the two work out their marital difficulties with an aggressive love making session. (Translation, when you have trouble with your woman, shove your cock down her throat. It is amazing how quickly the troubles seem to melt away.) Iroc really does give great on screen head, taking Dough deep into her throat and using plenty of hand action. Like clockwork, she follows that up with a skilled footjob. (And of course, she bailed back home before delivering on her promise to show me how good her feet are in person during an interview.) Her pussy must be something special, because Jon fires a load almost immediately, soaking her pussy in cum. After licking her clit for a while, he is more than ready to pound away, fucking the dark haired hottie as hard as he possibly can. She keeps begging for it harder, so to help make her happy, he slips his cock into her ass. What a giving guy Jon is. And what an anal whore Iroc is. Hats off to the both of them for a great butt filling slam fuck. I love watching this woman in RCA, her pussy is small, tight and puffy, just right for snacking on and then fucking silly. After stroking a second load from his cock onto her face, Iroc gives a little foot show. (Does watching a woman get candle wax dripped on her feet after a sex scene add something?)

Poor Alana may have the worst job on the planet. Not only is she stuck scrubbing toilets, but this lingerie clad blonde is also married to none other than Ron Jeremy. Taking his Hedgehog reputation to a new low, he even demands head while taking a crap. If you can get over the repeated farts and the sub par lighting, it’s actually kind of a turn on to watch this sexy blonde take Ron’s big cock in her mouth. They finally make their way to the bedroom where Ron gets to spread and sample here sweet looking slit. (Consider me volunteered to taste it for myself Alana.) Any time you watch a long cock like Ron’s go balls deep into a petite woman like this, it’s quite a Porn-dak moment. She even takes his dick in her ass, showing the kind of form that has had many porn fans praising this hot little slutlet for some time now. This is no gentle anal scene with Ron shoving his dick up into her ass from below and Alana dismounting a few times for some A2M action. However, hold your stomach sports fans, she actually KISSES the Hhog. That’s right, breaking every taboo known to man, she actually locks lips with the furry one. (Shouldn’t there be warning labels for movies like this?) Extreme is one thing, but that’s just disgusting. He finally fires a shot that mostly pops her right in the face. Props and a medal of valor of Alana.

The next scene stars Randee Lee, who has about as much appeal for me as left over fish innards. When her hubby drags Billy Glide in for a little, ‘rape my wife please’ session, I am already reaching for the forward scan button before she even has time to spit on her guy. They throw her on the ground and fuck her pretty hard. If this were a woman I found remotely appealing, all the fish hooking and implied force might bother me. However, since I am about as likely to beat off to Randee as I am to be invited over for dinner with the Gores, I don’t even have to bag on this aspect of the scene. Sorry gang, hard anal aside, this scene is a waste of time from where I sit.

Jasmin is back, this time finding an interesting way to keep the plumber, Luciano, happy while her hubby is away. She has this sexy way of looking partially disinterested, but still totally cock hungry at the same time. There is something so totally sexy about her when she does the whole “I’m hot and you’re lucky to fuck me” bitch goddess thing. Of course, it’s only hot because at the end of another great oral scene we get to see her face bathed in goo. OK, Luciano doesn’t shoot much, but Jasmin sucks it all up anyway.

Jessica Jewel is really pissed off at that her husband makes her do the ironing. Once again, the way to work through marital problems seems to be for the woman to kneel down and deliver a first class blowjob. (Where is Mrs. Rog, I need to pick a fight.) Jessica is no beauty queen, but she is a very impressive cocksucker and loves to use her big tits to enhance the experience. Those of you who like to see a woman tongue fuck a guy’s asshole will also find a treat in this scene. Once she mounts him, it seems like Jessica’s tits will never stop bouncing. (Speaking of Jessica, where the fuck is a new Jessica Darlin movie?) There is some really great doggy footage here, but the strobing creeps in just enough to ruin much of it for me. To show how much he really loves her, hubby starts fucking Jessica’s big butt even harder than he fucked her pussy. Do you think he knew he was marrying an anal whore when he walked down the aisle? If he didn’t, he certainly does by the time he drops his load into her open mouth. Jessica remains one of my personal guilty pleasures.

Once more we get Jasmin playing the bitch. This time as Earl Slate tries to do his job, (Moving mattresses.) she gives him a heaping helping of attitude. She finally tells Earl and his partner to skip the job and just fuck her. (Hey, any m
oving guys out there have stories like this to tell….true ones?) You know, considering Earl and Jasmin were together, I have to say his lack of wood is a bit odd. Hell, if nothing else doesn’t the knowledge that you’ll be ripping into that ass soon give you something to be excited about? When does finally manage to get stiff, Earl plows her from behind while Jasmin works on another less than fully hard unit. Shit, Earl is even soft while fucking her. Come on, if you can’t even get it up to fuck a nasty slut like this, then pop a Viagra or find another line or work Earl. (Practice saying, ‘Can I check your oil sir?’ over and over in the mirror.) Give Jasmin some credit for being able to still give us a decent enough looking scene in spite working with what at times seems to be pasta store surplus. One does manage to get hard enough to shove his cock in her ass, keeping Jasmin full long enough for a DP that is sadly fucked all to hell by the strobing. (To cover wood trouble perhaps?) Wood troubles or not, the guys manage to drop two loads of cum into her slutty face.

There are a couple of snags along the way, but for the most part this is another hard-core anal fucking adventure from the twisted mind of Lizzy Borden. Jasmin’s three and a half scenes are all very good. She is the perfect sex bitch, the kind of woman you want to throw down and fuck raw. That’s exactly what happens to her every hole in this movie and it’s why I like this tape as much as I do. Alana gives a great performance in a perversely erotic pairing with Ron Jeremy, proving just what a hot little slutlet she really is. Jessica Jewel is her usual prick-cushion self, adding a bit of big breasted fun to the mix. Only Randee Lee wastes valuable tape space with a really unwatchable scene. For the most part, Lizzy does a great job with this video, only occasionally letting the effects bug reach up and bite her in the ass. Less of that, less of Randee and more of Jasmin getting her ass fucked would have been perfect.