This Ain’t Smurfs XXX

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Roger T. Pipe

It started as a cure for writers block. I was working on some other projects and would come home every night and write in a journal as a warm up. One day, I was reading alt.sex.movies and found some reviews of porn flicks. I've always loved movies and porn, so I decided to review some tapes form my personal porn collection. I wrote a review, found that I liked it and posted it to asm. The feedback was positive and I just kept writing. I found it a great way to get me started each day, writing about something I enjoyed and pretty soon, people were asking me to review their films and work on a web site. The rest, as they say, is history.

Overall Rating [3/12]
★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Female Looks [9/12]
★★★★★★★★★☆☆☆
Male Looks [5/12]
★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Picture Quality [7/12]
★★★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆
Extras [5/12]
★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Plot Acting [3/12]
★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Sex [4/12]
★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Reviews >> Movie Reviews >> This Ain’t Smurfs XXX

This Ain’t Smufs XXX


www.Hustler.com

MOVIE TYPE: Parody
77 Mins
Hustler
DIRECTOR: Axel Braun
THEMES: Parody, 3d, Cartoon Porn, Body Make Up
2012
CONDOMS: None
STARS: Lexi Belle, Charlie Chase, Nicole Aniston, Jeremy Conway, J Crew, Barry Scott, Evan Stone

REVIEW-

Seriously? Smurf porn? C’m on! Other than the chance to paint a cast blue and be silly, what the hell does this offer sexually? Who sits around jerking off to Smurf fantasies? Wait, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know. Let’s just take a look at this Axel Braun flick shall we? It has a small cast, but the three women in the movie are all really hot. That’s a good thing. The 3d looks pretty good at least in part because of the blue body make up. That’s good. I am always going to praise cute little Lexi Belle and smoking hot Nicole Aniston. I still don’t get the appeal, but I suppose there is a workable Smurf story here. Brainy Smurf creates a machine that sends he, Papa and Smurfette to the real world. Nicole discovers them and just about the time it seems like a Chipmunks story line will break out, the pretty blonde fucks Evan Stone. This is the best scene of the movie or a few reasons. Nicole is super hot to start with. The lack of body make up also means that nothing gets in the way of the fun. The Smurf sex features Charley Chase taking on two blue guys and then hooking up with Lexi for some girl on girl play. Lexi’s finale with the evil Gargamel is probably the sort of thing the fan fic writers have been doing for a while. Overall I don’t see the sexual fantasy appeal here. It’s good for a chuckle and the blue 3d stuff is interesting and the girls are cute, but I just can’t figure out why anyone would make a movie like this.

Nicole Aniston & Evan Stone

Needing to keep the Smurfs a secret, Nicole Aniston has to do anything she can distract Evan Stone. It really isn’t that hard when you look as good as she does. She quickly gets out of her clothes and has him eating from behind her legs. As good as she looks here, things are much hotter when she puts that pretty face to work and takes his cock down her throat. Nicole gives great looking head and seems to enjoy showing off. When she is on top of Evan, pumping up and down, she lets us take a good long look at her hot body. I love the leg shots when she bends over. Nicole just has something special and looks like she is ready to be a superstar stroke fantasy girl. He lets her life flat on her back and just fills her with every inch that he’s got. He ends up shooting his load all over those perky boobs.

Charley Chase, J Crew & Jeremy Conway

Meanwhile back in Smurf Village, Gargamel creates a new Smurf (Charley Chase) and sends her after the device. She immediately finds Papa and Brainy Smurf (J Crew and Jeremy Conway) and fucks them both. In full blue, Charley drops to her knees and sucks their dicks. I am a big Charley Chase fan so I’m interested even if she is blue. The 3d looks pretty cool here as well, especially when she’s got one guy on his back for head and the other fucking her from behind. It is pretty funny when she sucks long enough for some of the body make up to wear off. The guys shoot their loads all over her face and boobs and leave the bouncing blue bimbo to her quest.

Charley Chase & Lexi Belle

Smurfette (Lexi Belle) is confused to see another female Smurf, but Charley quickly distracts her with a sweet lesbian kiss. The body paint is all over the place now. It’s on the floor, on their shoes and there are big blotches where it’s rubbed off. Minor thing I guess, but it somehow reminds me of really old porn or that movie where the guy playing the Hulk left this chick’s mouth all green from a BJ. They girls use a little blue vibe to go along with some very active tongues. Once again the 3d is pretty good so even if Lexi’s ass crack is now pretty much pure white and the blue streaks on the floor make me laugh; it’s a decent lesbian scene for anyone digging on the idea.

Lexi Belle & Barry Scott

Gargamel finally gets his hands on Smurfette and he takes full advantage. Lexi breaks out into a big smile when she sees his cock. It is huge in her mouth, but she does her best to cram it towards the back of her throat. Even in all that blue make up, Lexi is a cutie who puts her all into her BJ scenes. He bends her over and fucks her from behind. When she spreads wide in reverse cowgirl, the 3d is very good. On the other hand, she’s blue. If you aren’t into that sort of strange fantasy play then the scene is not what it could be. By the time she turns around, her crack is already showing a bit of pink as the make up wears off. The rest of it stays on well until he can nut all over her cute little boobies.

Bonus: BTS, Slide Show, BS Slide Show, Trailers, Commercials


www.Hustler.com

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