No Cum Dodging Allowed 7

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Roger T. Pipe

It started as a cure for writers block. I was working on some other projects and would come home every night and write in a journal as a warm up. One day, I was reading and found some reviews of porn flicks. I've always loved movies and porn, so I decided to review some tapes form my personal porn collection. I wrote a review, found that I liked it and posted it to asm. The feedback was positive and I just kept writing. I found it a great way to get me started each day, writing about something I enjoyed and pretty soon, people were asking me to review their films and work on a web site. The rest, as they say, is history.

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Overall Rating [10/12]
Female Looks [9/12]
Male Looks [7/12]
Picture Quality [8/12]
Extras [6/12]
Sex [9/12]

Reviews >> Movie Reviews >> No Cum Dodging Allowed 7

No Cum Dodging Allowed 7


290 Mins

Jules Jordan Video


THEMES: Blowbangs, Cum Swallowing




STARS: Keeani Lei, Kaci Starr, Tiffany, Annette Schwartz, Mia Bangg, Chelsie Rae, Steve Holmes, Brian Surewood,


Mike John has to be a mope’s best friend. Think about it for a second. They show up to collect a little cash in exchange for dropping a load. Often times they end up dropping it on a rather average girl. Not that this is a bad way to spend a few hours, but still. It could be better. Then they get a call for a Mike John movie. The job is the same, but they get to drop their DNA into and onto the faces, mouths and bodies of much, much hotter women. In this movie, Mike has the mopes working with the likes of Keanni Lei, Kaci Star and Tiffany. Things can’t get much better than that. The girls will have a much tougher job. Mike puts the rules right in the title. They won’t be allowed to dodge the cum, even when it comes from the mopiest of porn’s C-list. Somehow I’m sure the lovely ladies will muscle through the loads and all the air tight fucking to give us a great show.

Keeani Lei

The guys are getting tired of waiting for the scene to start so Mike goes looking for Keeani. He finds her fully dressed, on her knees and bobbing her head between two cocks already. Some girls are just too greedy for their own good. Oddly enough she does her fake gag routine on the moderate white dick while handling the big fat black one without such theatrics. The first two guys drop their loads into her mouth so she can swallow. (With her mouth open which is kind of odd.) Mike is enjoying her little masturbation show, but the other guys are tired of waiting. They drag her into the bed and start slamming into her holes. Little Keeani is a great hot talker and is ready to be filled in every orifice. The DP starts right away and she takes it with surprising ease and great energy. It is harder for her to talk with cocks in her mouth, but Mike keeps the mopes in check so this doesn’t become a man-chatter infested shout fest. The guys certainly don’t treat her gently though, stuffing her tight ass and making sure her mouth is never empty for more than a few seconds at a time. In the end, she turns her open mouth skyward and gets it filled up with hot cream. Keeani gargles with it a bit and wears a massive collection of DNA. Once again, this hot little Asian babe turns the head up and doesn’t let up.

Chelsea Rae

Mike must be looking forward to shooting Chelsea because he barely even lets her ring the bell before letting her in with her fiancée. They discuss her love for cum and the fact that her man is totally fine with his woman being a jizz gulping slut. Then Mike sets up the pretty blonde with enough sperm donors to put her unquenchable thirst to the test. Chelsea drops to her knees and starts sucking or jerking any cock that gets close to her. Eventually there is too much for her to handle so she lets the gag reflex kick in. In no time at all, they flood her mouth with enough jizz to drown most girls. Chelsea finishes is all off and is still smiling as round two kicks off. With the mope squad cleared out of the way, she gets to take one in the ass while letting loose with a continuous stream of quagging that puts the seals at Sea World to shame. If you can power past that stomach-churning symphony, there is plenty of great DP footage as her holes stretch to accommodate the thrusting fuck sticks. She gets through this just fine and easily downs the smaller second wave of jizz.


Tiffany is a pretty blonde who is actually dressed for a day at the office instead of a porn set. She looks classy and sexy with the clothes on and as soon as she gets naked we see that she has a killer body. Oh man, Tiffany may be a perfect woman. Can she fuck? Oh hell yeah she can. They go right for the triple penetration, making the leggy blonde air tight with big hard dicks. The guys rotate cocks to keep her working. If you don’t love this girl after just a few energetic minutes of DP then there isn’t much hope for you. She has it all, great looks, enthusiasm and a body that seriously works on every level. With a group of guys waiting as soon as these three are done, she begs for cum in her mouth. All three guys nut between her lips and feed her a triple decker protein shake. This scene alone is worth the price of the DVD and the massive swallow scene is still to come. First she has to get her mouth filled by the three dudes who have been plowing her. The mopes come in and rub their dicks all over her pretty face. Tiffany still looks like she could working in a bank or law firm and that’s a huge turn on. This time around her tits get fucked as well as her mouth and pussy. The flood of cum this time seems to be enough to keep Tiffany happy for the moment.

Kaci Starr

Disc two opens with Kaci Starr who I just freaking love. She is absolutely adorable and as cum hungry and anyone in the business. Mike hooks her up with a couple of big black dicks and she goes to town like she is starving. Though she struggles with the size, Kaci doesn’t fake the lame noises. She just gives us a fantastic warm up to the main event. Damn this girl is fucking hot. He has her show off her body as she rubs her wet pussy and waits to be stuffed by even more meat. The dicks come quickly now and Kaci sucks them two at a time. She makes short work of a pair of white cocks and then gets back to the chocolate love. Watching this pretty girl suck dick is quite a treat and she happily accepts whatever loads they have for her. Ready for more, she opens wide to take on a small group. That breaks the quag-free zone somewhat, but she is still hot enough to make it all work. The guys aren’t just interested in her mouth though. They throw her around and fuck that tight little pussy nice and hard. Since there are three guys working with her, Kaci opens up her asshole for some hot air tight action. The guys plug all three holes during some footage that is bound to please the audience nearly as much as the guys actually fucking her. This outstanding scene ends with three more loads right in Kaci’s pretty mouth. Did I say that she was hot? Can’t be said enough as far as I’m concerned.

Mia Bangg

Mia Bangg is well known for her great big ass and amazing anal scenes. We get to see the booty while she gets naked and waits. There is a whole line of guys waiting to fuck her and that doesn’t even make Mia think twice. She gets up on top of one guy, rides his cock with her pussy and in moments, had one in her ass as well. Even on the heels of Kaci’s outstanding fuck, Mia pulls a great train on these lucky mopes. They turn her over so that the guys can get into her mouth more easily. Check out the way those cheeks roll like the surf as she gets triple-plugged. Even with a bit of quagging, the energy here is good enough to make it worth watching. Mia’s sphincter opens up and she gets fucked really hard. I know that the focus of this movie is swallowing, but the anal and DP action in this scene is what porn is all about. A hot chick taking as much dick as a room full of guys can dish out. Mia finishes off with her mouth wide open. The guys line up and leave big loads until her mouth is full. Wow.

Annette Schwartz

Blonde Annette sticks her ass out and shows us where she wants to feel some big hard cocks. She has a big glass bowl for the cum and all she needs is a room full of mopes to suck. Mike has kept the quagging to a minimum, but there is only so much a director can do when the mob of C level performers get their meat near her throat. You have to hand it to Annette and her deep throat skills. It may not sound pretty, but it sure as fuck looks hot. Well, it looks pretty until she hangs her head over the couch. Then it is as stomach churning to watch as it is to listen to. The bowl can’t come into play quickly enough. The loads pile up in that bowl and the bukkake crowd is probably ready to bust nuts along with the guys as she brings that thing up to her lips and gulps it down. How does one top a big bowl full of cum swallowed by a horny blonde? Unfortunately we roll through a long quag fest as she lets loose with a chorus of fake gagging and throat clicks She is working with the big boys now so we might give her some slack if it wasn’t such a wood kill to her hear throwing this stuff out. Even as we marvel at her lovely body and anal skills, the sound is enough to just kill it. It is impressive to watch her take three at a time and with the mute on, things get considerably better. Annette has a killer body and is a hot fuck. If she could stop the pornified fake noises, we would be in great shape.

Though this movie is really, really long, the scenes it doesn’t really seem to drag. It takes great skill to pull this off so let’s give John a ton of credit. All the same, the movie could use a little trimming. Perhaps it is one scene too long. How often do we say that these days? After over four hours, I really think that the Annette scene could probably be lost. It isn’t bad and in another movie might even be the highlight. In this one however, it is too bogged down in porno clichés for its own good. The rest of the movie is just really, really good. It’s got some great blowbang stuff if that floats your boat. It normally just ends up pissing me off, but Mike has paced it well, shot perfectly and he even manages to keep the usual throat symphonies to a minimum. Kaci’s scene is so fucking good that it would easily be an award nominee had it popped up earlier in the year. Keeani’s scene is one of the very best she has given to date. Tiffany is the one to watch here. She’s a different type of woman than Kaci, but just as hot in her own way. I’ve always found classy looking women who behave like gutter sluts to be quite fun on film. (and please, I mean that in the nicest way.) If you like great sex and cum swallowing in the same movie, then this is a must-see title. If you don’t like both, but just enjoy really hot anal and DP then this is a must-see title. If you like Kaci Starr or want to see how freaking hot Tiffany is…well, you get the picture.

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