Adventures of Squirt Girl, The

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Roger T. Pipe

It started as a cure for writers block. I was working on some other projects and would come home every night and write in a journal as a warm up. One day, I was reading alt.sex.movies and found some reviews of porn flicks. I've always loved movies and porn, so I decided to review some tapes form my personal porn collection. I wrote a review, found that I liked it and posted it to asm. The feedback was positive and I just kept writing. I found it a great way to get me started each day, writing about something I enjoyed and pretty soon, people were asking me to review their films and work on a web site. The rest, as they say, is history.

Overall Rating [0/12]
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Female Looks [8/12]
★★★★★★★★☆☆☆☆
Male Looks [6/12]
★★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆
Picture Quality [8/12]
★★★★★★★★☆☆☆☆
Extras [5/12]
★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Plot Acting [6/12]
★★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆
Sex [5/12]
★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Reviews >> Movie Reviews >> Adventures of Squirt Girl, The

Adventures of Squirt Girl, The

MOVIE TYPE: Feature

110 Mins.

Sinsational Pictures

DIRECTOR: Dee

THEMES: Squirting, Costumes

CONDOMS: Some Noted

2006

5/06

STARS: Cytherea, Alex Sanders, Evan Stone, Jenner, Lexi Love, Billy Glide, Gia Givanna, Keeani Lei, Kat & Sierra Sinn


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REVIEW-

Is it me or are we starting to see more comic book themed porn on the shelves again? This is the latest effort to cross over into the hero genre. Cytherea plays the lead character and that means that the rest of the cast is in for a very day’s work. The whole adventure comes from the minds of a couple of bored comic book guys who pass their day by thinking up things much hotter than their day job allows. That leads is into an imaginary world where Squirt Girl runs around showing girls how to rhythmically relieve their bladders while pretending it’s a female orgasm at work. She also has to do battle with her nemesis, Captain Cum (Evan Stone) to save the sexual universe. Bring your umbrellas sports fans; this is going to get messy.

Sanders and Jenner are a comic book team stuck in a rut. Alex suggests a new story involving a woman, Cytherea who is a half-mortal, half-immortal being who fights on the female side in a sexual battle that….well that somehow isn’t as important to most of us as the three way between Squirt Girl (Cytherea) and an amorous couple played by Billy Glide and Lexi Love. They start with a little demonstration on how to find the G spot, but Squirt Girl is anxious to lick Lexi’s lovely love box. In no time at all she has the lucky girl letting loose a little spray for all to see. With that out of the way, they share Billy’s cock, straining their mouths to take that big thing. After that slow start, the action picks up with the girls passing the fat cock back and forth like a tasty baton. Cytherea watches as Lexi rides in cowgirl. She talks a lot, but just seems kind of bored while waiting for her turn. When the dick finally does make its way into her squirting box, Cytherea happily takes it from behind while letting loose a stream of bladder broth all over Lexi. We have only just begun and already the fetish nature of the whole ‘squirt’ thing is getting in the way of an otherwise decent scene. We get another wet shot from Lexi before the girls share Billy’s big load. If you like

‘squirting’ then you might not be quite as frustrated by this opener as I was.

Kat hears about Squirt Girl and calls for her help. She is given Sanders and Jenner to take care of her sexual needs. They start by fingering her hot little pussy and working her into a frenzy. That gets things nice and wet as a set up for the blowjob. We already know that Kat is a serious quagger, but she outdoes herself this time. Even with the braces in her mouth she easily deep throats both guys and really has to try to work up a big fake gag for us. The guys respond by fucking her with the overwrought style that only the moderately-hung white boy mafia can provide. Kat sells it pretty well, fucking them back as if they were sticking her with big dicks. Jenner gets up into her ass and Kat is ready to open up both holes at one. Alex joins the mix and she handles the DP with ease. The tight shots are really good, but we could use some longer shots of this petite babe getting plugged. They spray her down nicely with a couple of shots on her face. Pretty damn hot scene.

Super Villain Captain Cum needs to know where Squirt Girl is and dives between Sierra Sinn’s parted thighs to find the information he’s looking for. After licking that hot little pussy for a while she pumps it full of dick. Sierra likes it deep and looks absolutely beautiful as she pumps up and down on his shaft. They stop for a moment so he can shove his balls into her mouth. (Careful, she might choke on those things.) To really shine, Sierra gets on top and pounds down on that big cock like she’s trying to knock her uterus loose. Her little ass gets a work out as well and that’s some impressive action on every level. Evan reams that ass and leaves it gaping from the anal pounding. She ends that great stuff by spraying down the couch before Evan shoots his cum all over Sierra’s hot face.

Since every story needs a lesbian story, the guys write one with Gia Givanna and Keanni Lei trying to discover the wonders of full bladder release. The pretty little Asian leans back, spreads her legs and enjoys her girlfriend’s tongue on her clit. The finger play is really good here, but for eye candy you can’t beat the sight of Keanni lying on her tummy and making a meal of her girl’s box. Love the ass shots here. They follow that up with a set shot all over Gia’s face and some intense vibrator action. The scene goes all over the place for a while. Keanni dumps more ‘juice’ on Gia’s face, they enjoy the toy play and then finally hook up for some strap on action. Keanni is cute dishing out the big dick to her pale gal pal. This footage is so good that we really have to wonder why they didn’t cut the first half of the scene a little tighter to get to the good stuff.

The big finale pits Squirt Girl against Captain Cum. Watching Evan ham it up in a scene with Cytherea delivering her flat dialog is as funny as the script itself. He starts out by sucking her clit and then rolls her into a semi-piledrier to drill that pussy nice and deep. The wet stuff starts early, but if you can power through that, there is some nice looking sex going on here. Then out of the blue he pulls out and she pisses all over the place. It’s a fucking fountain that soaks everything in….oh wait, it’s not piss? That’s right. It’s ‘squirt.’ Sorry I lost my mind there for a minute. In reverse cowgirl she actually sprays a stream several feet that nearly hits the camera. I wonder if she can write her name in the snow. There is plenty more puddle making action before he finishes her off with a shot on the face.

Obviously this movie is for people who like the whole ‘squirting’ thing. It isn’t my cup of….must resist….don’t say it….can’t fight….PEA…Dammit, I tried. I haven’t even reviewed a wet movie in a while, but I couldn’t resist this one. The comic book stuff if fun and the script is worth a few laughs. (Thanks to our good friend Martin Brimmer) Evan’s delivery has become a parody of itself and is made even funnier by the others around him. Between Cytherea’s clueless (or brilliant) deliver and Sanders’ doing what appears to be a bad Even Stone impersonation, the movie if funny even when it isn’t supposed to be. Sexually the movie isn’t bad. Some of the scenes are quite good and well shot. I found the energy to be pretty good as well, but I’m not into the whole wet shot fetish. Because it doesn’t turn me on, I found the spray breaks detrimental to the overall rhythm. If you happen to like this stuff then you won’t have the same issues. Kat’s scene is pretty damn hot and Sierra Sinn really shines. I dig the super hero genre, but am not crazy about Bladder Babe and her amazing urinary tricks.


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