Down the Hatch 19

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Roger T. Pipe

It started as a cure for writers block. I was working on some other projects and would come home every night and write in a journal as a warm up. One day, I was reading alt.sex.movies and found some reviews of porn flicks. I've always loved movies and porn, so I decided to review some tapes form my personal porn collection. I wrote a review, found that I liked it and posted it to asm. The feedback was positive and I just kept writing. I found it a great way to get me started each day, writing about something I enjoyed and pretty soon, people were asking me to review their films and work on a web site. The rest, as they say, is history.

Overall Rating [0/12]
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Female Looks [10/12]
★★★★★★★★★★☆☆
Male Looks [3/12]
★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Picture Quality [9/12]
★★★★★★★★★☆☆☆
Extras [4/12]
★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Sex [0/12]
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Reviews >> Movie Reviews >> Down the Hatch 19

Down the Hatch 19

MOVIE TYPE: All Sex

205 Mins. `

Diabolic
www.Diabolic.com



DIRECTOR: Chico Wang

THEMES: Swallowing, Choking, Slapping

CONDOMS: None

2006

4/06

STARS: Cody Lane, Jessi Summers, Jamie Elle, Sasha Knox, Tia Tanaka, Alicia Angel, Steven French, Tony T, Talon, Brian Surewood, James Deen, Joachim Kessef

REVIEW-

As we make our way through the Diabolic selections on our video shelves, it is time to take a glance at Chico Wang’s latest effort. He has taken this once-popular line in directions that a lot of people can’t figure out. It is still a line about swallowing, but it has also become something else. Chico has his own vibe and it’s certainly not the same as the old core audience for Diabolic movies. Chico’s vision isn’t about stroker sex. It’s about using guys who are as brutal as humanly possible and getting girls to do stupid things for money. More on that late. For now we can still hope that the cute girls and cum swallowing will be reason enough to get back on the DTH train. If anyone can get us back, it’s Tia Tanaka. This little cutie could be the next big thing from East. I’m hoping she is as hot in this movie as she was in person during the show in Vegas last January.

Jamie Elle parrots some silly phrases and makes stupid faces for the camera before opening her mouth for some rather pitiful loads. The abrupt nature of the action and dispassionate cum play set the stage for a very long “look what we can make her do for money” movie. Can’t you just feel the enthusiasm resonating from my keyboard?

Sasha Knox sits down for a really stupid little interview with Wang before kneeling in the middle of a cock-circle. (Cock-circle? Are those made my aliens?) Sasha is a cure girl who doesn’t seem bored to be here so one has to wonder why the first guy into the mix has to start smacking her around. (To stay hard perhaps.) There is nothing quite like watching guys who don’t seem to even like women fucking a cute one to make us all realize that Diabolic has lost the old focus on the fans that made it a great stroker company. They manage to DP her, but our focus seems to be on watching guys choke her, shove fingers in her mouth and basically do all of the things that no one really wants to see. The scene is not without good moments of course. Sasha does manage to get her face and body in frame often enough to let us realize that isn’t a boy on boy bang. There is actually some good footage later in the scene, but the guys just keep fucking it up by grabbing her around the neck instead of just fucking her. Silly meat puppets, just stay out of the way. She takes their loads in her mouth and does a bit of the silly cum play. I guess that is the case of the silly director getting in the way. This isn’t a horrible scene, but it could have been so much better.

Alicia Angel does the little interview and then gets to taste semen. This is another bonus-kakke scene that I think that these scenes would be hot if the rest of the action was better. As it stands, it’s a bunch of mopes jerking off in her mouth while Chico chatters away behind the camera. Interesting? Maybe on some planet, but great porn in the Diabolic tradition? Nope.

Tia Tanaka is the main reason I’m watching this movie. Unfortunately she is introduced to us with the silly frat boy “ahhhh” sequence and then a throat fucking qag fest that is about as sexy as an abandoned baby found in a dumpster. Keeping up with the theme, the meat puppet fucks her pussy while grabbing her neck. Yawn! Somehow Tia manages to scream loud enough to override the misogynistic man chatter. (That is both homo erotic and painfully disturbing at the same time.) Somehow she manages to shine again in doggy, but the fucking camera races away from the good stuff so fast that we have to wonder if Chico is developing a little man crush on James Deen. (Why else would he rush away from Tia to show us the Readi-Wood dispenser?) In fact, every time this scene starts to get interesting to those of us who like fucking women instead of slapping them, the action changes. At one point Tia even tries to turn things around, saying “let me fuck you” as she is on top. I keep looking for good things to say about this because I really love Tia, but the camera work is really not very good and the tone of the action is designed for a whole different audience. Throw in the fact that it’s painfully too long and I would really be reaching to say anything good about it other than the fact that the lighting is decent and Tia is a very sexy young woman.

I can’t believe that we’re only an hour into this movie. It really doesn’t get any better I’m afraid. Jessi Summers gives an outdoor blowjob that isn’t too bad.

Jamie shows up again. This time she admits that she really doesn’t like to swallow cum. That’s at least refreshing. That is unfortunately the highlight of the next half hour. Jamie crawls in for a dick circle with more male chatter than in your average gay porn flick. With Tony T taking charge, Jamie’s head gets battered, she quags like a seal and the overall affect is about as erotic as a New York City garbage strike in August. This same kind of “fuck the bitch” mentality really ruins the rest of the scene of the scene as well. Jamie works hard against the flow of the scene and proves to be both easy on the eyes and good at anal sex. She swallows like she promised and even if she doesn’t like it, you have to give her credit for that.

Jessi Summers gets her full scene next. Tony assaults her from the start smacking her around and grabbing her by the throat. I realize that rough play is a big part of sexuality, but let’s face it, this movie isn’t about sexuality on any level. If I’m going to defend smacking and choking from that angle, it will have to be in a project that at least pretends to be about something other than the lowest form or sex for money. Watching this guy smack her around, and treat her like shit will appeal only to guys who hate women as much as he appears to in this scene or who really wish we could just film actual rapes to get off to. Sorry guys, but this scene sucks. It’s utterly worthless and somehow makes the rest of this crap look somewhat decent.

Cody Lane is a cute girl, but her scene opens with a long story of how her step dad anally raped her when she was eight. So now in addition to shooting scene for guys who don’t like girls, Chico is going for the P4P crowd? Guess what guys, it gets worse. The sex in this scene isn’t rough, it’s brutal. It isn’t sexy, it’s stupid. It’s ugly, it’s anti-sex and to be honest I can’t believe that Diabolic is hanging its hat on stuff like this. If watching a woman scream, rub spit on her face, and get stepped on for forty minutes is what you want to jerk off to, then please do. Jerk off and then please march yourself straight down to the local police station or mental hospital before you get the idea that you might want to try this shit at home. (The only saving grace here is Wang saying “I’m going to jail.” Hey Chico, just stop the shit, all right. We get the point.)

Alicia Angel has the final full scene, but to be honest why bother? She is a cute girl who gets treated like shit and manages to contribute to the horrible scene by quagging. Watching this is a waste of time. I did it for you and you have been warned.

This is a movie that is geared for a specific audience. If you don’t happen to fall into that narrow target group there is nothing but a dismal display of pointless frat boy antics. The female cast is really good, but they are mostly wasted. The action falls into the “look what we can make young girls do for money” category. Wang serves as a combination of Johnny Knoxville and those guys from Bangbus as she presents the girls with absolutely no sense of genuine sexuality. It’s part of what I like to call the “Jackassization” of porn and it doesn’t show much regard for the guys Diabolic has always kept happy. Instead of catering the guys with their pants around their ankles jerking off while watching hot girls, Chico is doing something else entirely. I hate sounding the like voice of flowers and romance, but shouldn’t porn at least look more passionate than butcher training videos? This is the realm of fantasy, so why can’t the guys pretend that they like girls and why can’t directors pretend that sex is at least fun? I guess there are some people who don’t like the idea of sex that makes people happy. I can understand that, but degrading, misogyny is only good stroke material to guys who hate women as much as some of the people who made this one seem to. Look, I know that Anabolic and Diabolic have never played gentle. That’s not the point, but there is a big difference between a good hard fuck in the ass and whatever this is supposed to be. Hopefully this is just a phase and not something indicative of the direction Diabolic plans to head for the foreseeable future. It would be a shame if they abandoned the strokers for the Frat-Boy woman haters completely.

www.Diabolic.com

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