Short & Sleazy

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Roger T. Pipe

It started as a cure for writers block. I was working on some other projects and would come home every night and write in a journal as a warm up. One day, I was reading and found some reviews of porn flicks. I've always loved movies and porn, so I decided to review some tapes form my personal porn collection. I wrote a review, found that I liked it and posted it to asm. The feedback was positive and I just kept writing. I found it a great way to get me started each day, writing about something I enjoyed and pretty soon, people were asking me to review their films and work on a web site. The rest, as they say, is history.

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Overall Rating [11/12]
Female Looks [10/12]
Male Looks [8/12]
Picture Quality [11/12]
Extras [10/12]
Sex [10/12]

Reviews >> Movie Reviews >> Short & Sleazy

Short & Sleazy


175 Mins.

Pulse Pictures


THEMES: Petite Girls,




STARS: Penny Flame, Jersey Jaxin, Cassie Courtland, Vanessa Lane, Kaiya Lynn, Courtney Simpson (Bonus Scene), Mark Ashley, Christian, Sascha, Barrett Blade


I love porn movie titles. I really do. This one leaves us open for so many fun jokes. We could talk about how most every porn flick should be short and sleazy. Or we could take a not-so-subtle swipe by wondering how tall director Bryan Xin is. That might be confusing though. Is Rog saying the Xin might be sleazy? Or is he wondering out loud how Xin would measure up to these five foot and under girls. Or maybe I could take the narcissistic route and wonder if this movie is gauging my attention span and reading my mind. Then again maybe it is just a perfect title for a movie that stars girls who hover around the five foot mark. Petite girls aren’t exactly rare in porn, but a whole movie with tiny tarts is something special. Since Xin is great at mixing outstanding tease with solid sex I think that we will get to enjoy the women. Of course I will be sitting here counting down the seconds until Kaiya Lynn gets her turn. She’s a fantastic performer and be prepared to hear me gush about her throughout her scene. (Be thankful you don’t have to see me gushing over her performance.)

Penny Flame leads off and she is all wound up, touching herself and cooing to the camera. Though a tad overwrought she covers all the basics. Penny may be tiny girl, but she has a nice little butt cute boobies and apparently a tight little pussy. I really like the tease in this scene. It is well shot with good coverage of her body and some sexy solo action. Mark Ashley comes in with his Readi-Wood out and shoves it right to the back of her throat. Penny tries to take control and do some sucking, but every time she does that, he just grabs her and ruins the action. I like watching her suck, but sitting through him grabbing her skull just reminds me of why I am down on so much of the action these days. It isn’t bad, but isn’t as good as it might have been. The fucking on the other hand, is pretty close to perfect. Mark drops the hammer on Penny and stretches that tight little slit. She talks dirty and actually begs to ride his rocket. If you like watching girls get pounded really hard, then this excellent stuff. She rides in RC and just gets blasted as hard as he can. The action looks really good in doggy with that sweet box on display and Penny’s energy level still as high as ever. There are some amazing butt shots as she moves into a side saddle cowgirl and wiggles her ass while rocking back and forth on his prick. Mark saves us a big load and hits her right in the mouth with it. Xin keeps the camera on her face for a long time, giving us plenty of post pop cum play. This is a great scene once we get Mark’s hands off of Penny’s head.

Jersey Jaxin is a cute little thing who has made a few too many trips to the ink factory. She has plenty of jewelry in various body parts as well. The tease footage focuses on her pussy as she squeezes the puffy lips together while she waits to be swept off of her feet. Christian comes in and does just that. He scoops her up easily and sucks her clit. His cock is too big and she bobs her head while making trained seal noises. (Wouldn’t a good old fashioned blowjob be better?) There is some decent eye contact here, but the quagging sets us back. Jersey seems to struggle a bit at first, but eventually she gets that cock deep inside of her little box. By the time they get to reverse cowgirl she is sliding up and down on his pole. There are some great shots of her in cowgirl with her butt right in the camera and those juicy pussy lips wrapped ever so tightly around his meat. When he leaves a big load in her mouth, she gargles with it for good measure.

I didn’t realize just how tiny Vanessa Lane was until she popped up here. She also seems to have lost some weight and is looking a bit thin these days. We know that she is very flexible and she shows that off during some hot solo tease action. Christian is the guy with the wood once again. He joins Vanessa and scoops her up for some standing labe lapping. The oral action begins and early on she manages to suck without the animal noises. As she works over one knob, Sascha joins the mix and now the dirty little babe has two to play with. She takes one from behind. I love the energy and intensity of the scene, but in reverse cowgirl, Vanessa looks so thin that I’m afraid she might break. The shoots look better with her sexy little ass right there in front of us. Just checking out her ass isn’t enough for the guys. They want to work some meat between those little cheeks. She really goes off in RCA, working her legs and somehow swallowing every inch of dick into her colon. After nailing her from every possible angle, the guys feed her hot sticky cream. Wow this is a high energy fuck.

Next up is Cassie Courtland and she looks really great in a mini skirt and tank top. It is nice to see girls in actual clothes instead of just the usual fetish non-wear. She struts around the house showing off her thin frame and working fingers into her tasty little slot. Barrett Blade breaks up the pretty-fest with some meat. (I guess Kurt Lockwood was booked and they needed someone to fill the moderately-hung, tattooed white boy quota for the movie.) They hurry through a decent blowjob and get right to the cowgirl. From this angle, she doesn’t too skinny at all. In fact, that’s a hot little butt on display. Cassie seems to like being fucked hard and sucks his dick clean in between mish sessions. You know, this girl looks enough like Flower Tucci to be her petite little sister. I love the way she looks in doggy. Her skin looks spectacular and she seems to love it fast and hard. The big facial finish is a perfect ending to a really hot scene.

Now for the moment I’ve been waiting for. Little Kaiya Lynn gets her turn in the spotlight. She uses a toy during her tease and is also sporting a more natural clothes look. Frankly it wouldn’t matter what Kaiya has on, she is hot in anything and everything. That lucky toy gets into her mouth and into her pussy as Xin captures the tease perfectly. Check out that hot ass and the way the toy just pops right in there. Mark Ashley already has his Rx Hard on waiting for Kaiya when she walks over t him. She gets down on her knees where it is mouth high. We get some really nice shots of her face as she covers him from balls to tip in spit and jerks him off in her tiny hands. He pushes her knees up to her chest and starts working on that pussy. Kaiya likes it deep and is incredibly vocal as he pounds her pussy. Her energy level stays his as she rides, showing off her ass as he slams up into her. Mark gets behind her and uses the toy in her ass while still fucking that pussy. Nice little DP action here and it drives her crazy. With her ass warmed up, he easily replaces the toy with his own pole. That’s a very big dick for suck a tiny girl, but she takes it like a champ. It isn’t a long ass fuck, but it’s damn hot. They go back to vag and then return to anal in RCA. Mark doesn’t take it easy on her at all. He pounds up in there and we get to see the action captured brilliantly. Kaiya doesn’t do a lot of anal scenes so this is a rare treat that features excellent RCA as well as some perfect butt shots during the standard cowgirl anal. She is just so fucking hot that she blows away the rest of the girls in this movie. The scene is capped off by a nice big facial. I’m a Kaiya Lynn fan and this is one of her best scenes to day.

On the bonus disc we get a BTS feature that features Courtney Simpson showering, Kaiya Lynn in post coital bliss and Penny Flame telling us how she passes the time in traffic. We also get trailers and a really nice photo gallery. Of course the best extra is a hot scene with Courtney Simpson. This is as good as just about anything in the full movie so add another half hour to the running time.

This is a really excellent collection of sex scenes with hot, petite girls. We all know who I enjoyed the most, but every scene was worth watching. The tease is really well done. Xin shoots it well and doesn’t over-do the camera movement. When it comes to the sex, it’s really good. We have a few minor head grabbing and fake gagging issues, but I really think that we have gotten over the hump on that stupid crap. None of the scenes are ruined by side show sex and that alone is worth a full point on the scale. In addition to the obviously brilliance of Kaiya’s scene, I was pleasantly surprised by Penny Flame. She really looks good here and turns in a very hot scene. Vanessa Lane could use a trip to Cold Stone now and then, but damn can she fuck. In a movie that is really good from the start to finish, it is the finale that steals the show. Kaiya looks hot, fucks with great energy and even gives up the ass for a bit. I think I could only like this scene more if she was actually fucking me. And on that note, insert your own Short & Sleazy joke here.

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