Walking Dead: A Hardcore Parody
www.BurningAngel.com
MOVIE TYPE: Parody
130 Mins
Burning Angel
www.BurningAngel.com
DIRECTOR: Joanna Angel & Tommy Pistol
CONDOMS: None
THEMES: Parody, Zombie, Tattooed Girls, Creep Factor, Horror Porn
2013
STARS: Joanna Angel, Tommy Pistol, Tommy Gunn, Wolf Hudson, Danny Wylde, Kleio, Skin Diamond, Brittany Lynn, Owen Gray, Arabelle Raphael, Larkin Love, Sierra Cure, Jesse Lee
REVIEW-
Joanna Angel and Tommy Pistol are no stranger to horror/gore porn. They are really good at it actually. It makes sense that they would take on the top zombie piece in current pop culture. If you haven’t seen “Walking Dead” then you probably live under a rock or don’t give a crap about horror. If that’s the case, I doubt you care much about zombie porn either. That would make this an unlikely choice to begin with. If you do like the show, or horror or comedy or any of the above mixed with porn, well dive right in. This is a very solid, sometimes brilliant parody. Staying true to the series, much of the action involves zombies and a lone band of post-apocalyptic survivors led by Joanna, Tommy Pistol and Tommy Gunn. Their struggle for survival is interrupted by sex with “Walkers” (Semen kills them after all), internal struggles and a love triangle between our leads. The make up is really good. If you’re into zombie sex then you have plenty to love in this flick. The script is also pretty good for the most part. There are some creepy twists that we will get to later, but let’s stick with the good stuff first. Joanna has a great scene with the two Tommy’s. It is really good and worth watching more than once. The other non-zombie scene features Skin Diamond in a hot lesbian romp with Kleio. Both of these scenes are well shot, sexually hot and fit perfectly in with the parody appeal for fans. The rest of the scenes involve zombies and are interesting to whatever degree you find gore and sex with the undead to be strokeable. I like some of the scenes, but after a while it kind of feels like we’re just killing time. They aren’t bad scenes, but they are good for laughs more than jerking off. Then there are the truly odd or disturbing aspects of the movie. First of all we have Wolf Hudson who plays a child. OK they are allowed to age characters and do it all the time. The weird part is that he plays the kid as pretty much a kid (and a creepy emo kid at that) including fucking his also childlike girlfriend turned zombie with her doll. That’s just fucked up and really hard to look at. Add in Danny Wylde playing an Asian character is odd and less than vaguely racist make up and you have a few WTF moments. Overall this a fun parody and Joanna’s scene is hot enough to nearly wipe the unspeakable horror of Wolf’s performance from my brain.
Phoenix Aksani & Tommy Pistol
Waking up in the hospital, Rick (Tommy Pistol) is quickly attacked by a cock starved zombie (Phoenix Aksani under heavy make up.) He resists for half a second before realizing that she doesn’t want to bite his dick off, just suck it for a while. He shoots his load rather quickly and she swallows. Apparently cum kills these undead sluts, so that’s handy to know.
Owen Gray, Brittany Lynn & Jesse Lee
Crossbow wielding redneck Darryl (Owen Gray) takes out a few walkers and then decides to fuck two of them. Seems arrows to the head are the same as a load to the mouth. (Damn, my high school girlfriend was right.) He grabs undead Jesse and Brittany and starts groping them. Hey, since cum kills these things, why are they so fucking eager to take the dick? Owen gabs them by head and does some hard face fucking. This is another scene that requires the viewer to enjoy or at least stomach the idea that fucking chicks with gaping open facial wounds is something sexually appealing. I think I’ll just sit here and be impressed by the make up job because it’s really good. These tatted babes seem really well groomed for undead creatures and patient when it comes to waiting for the penis. You know, if you take away the zombie make up, this could be a scene from a good Breaking Bad parody with the pasty, gangly Owen fucking a couple of drippy sored meth heads. He unloads on their faces, taking them out with less blood than the arrow. (But can he pull that out and reuse it again immediately?)
Joanna Angel, Tommy Gunn & Tommy Pistol
Lori (Joanna Angel) is finally going to fuck Shane (Tommy Gunn), but her husband comes home. Oh my, the biggest conflict of season two comes together. What will happen when Rick finds his wife fucking his former partner? They fight for a second, but this is a porn, not an angsty soap opera disguised as horror. They fuck dumb asses. They both fuck Joanna. This is the first time in the movie we have seen a non zombie fuck so that’s a good thing. It is also Joanna taking on two hard dicks so that’s a very good thing. (It is also the exact scenario played out in a lot of WD fan girls’ wet dreams.) Joanna gives both cocks some sloppy and deep head as she moves her talented mouth from dick to dick. Right in the middle of fucking her husband, she cries out that she missed him. Those cries are quickly silenced by Shane’s dick gagging her. He bends her over and fucks that hot pussy while she sucks her cum from her husband’s dick. As always, Joanna looks great and seems to be having a fantastic time getting pounded by hard dick. Rick moves around behind her and makes Lori’s anal and DP fantasies come true by joining his partner in double stuffing her tight holes. They slam her while she keeps begging for more and end up feeding her two big loads of cream. Wouldn’t this have been a better way to settle things that what we saw on the show?
Skin Diamond & Kleio
When Andréa (Kleio) goes to the hospital to find some medicine, she nearly buys the farm. Surrounded by walkers, she is saved by Michone (Skin Diamond). They are safe, but the exotic hottie “hates zombie dick” and wants to eat some pussy. She tosses the pale blonde onto a bed and shoves her knees up to her chest for full access to that sweet slit. The finger play is intense here as she works Kleio pretty hard. They switch places and she buries her face in Skin’s pussy like her twat is made of cotton candy. The best looking footage comes with Skin on all fours and her ass in the air to receive a though tongue bath from Kleio. Lovely skin contrast here and a whole lot of genuine heat. The women kiss, finger, lick and please each other as best they can.
Sierra Cure & Wolf Hudson
Carl (Wolf Hudson) has to go kill his girl with his cum. As disturbing as that may sound, it is nothing compared to the horror of an emo Wolf Hudson stumbling his way through child-like dialog and a desperate sex scene. He “needs some inspiration” while eating her so he holds her doll to get himself going. Watching him use the toy to fuck his girl is only slightly harder to watch than he is in this scene. Please, make it stop. He keeps saying “look at it” and I’m afraid if I stare too long I might end up like those dudes at the end of Raiders. Sierra in zombie make up is what it is. That she is playing a little girl from the show is disturbing, but all of this could still be forgiven, I guess. He manages to get his dick into her from behind and they fuck like the living dead on that rooftop. There is just nothing sexy, appealing or amusing about this scene. I would like to see Sierra in something else to give her another chance. Otherwise, I couldn’t get this one finished fast enough.
Orgy
When our band of traveling survivors runs out of bullets they have to do it the other way. Hey, what better way to celebrate a bloody massacre than by fucking a few zombies? Rick and Lori work over a thick brunette with huge tits. It’s really just a free for all with Kleio forgetting how much she hates dick long enough to fuck, Wolf continuing his assault on our eyes and Danny Wylde in make up that is more inexplicable than it is offensive (but it’s plenty of both, trust me.) Joanna gives us a few hot moments when the camera stops on her. Kleio is pretty sexy as she gets fucked. The whole “kill them” chat as the cum starts to flow is creepy, but it’s creepy within context so it’s not Wolf’s hair level creepy.
Bonus: BTS, Trailers, Gallery
