Parking Assistance

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Roger T. Pipe

It started as a cure for writers block. I was working on some other projects and would come home every night and write in a journal as a warm up. One day, I was reading and found some reviews of porn flicks. I've always loved movies and porn, so I decided to review some tapes form my personal porn collection. I wrote a review, found that I liked it and posted it to asm. The feedback was positive and I just kept writing. I found it a great way to get me started each day, writing about something I enjoyed and pretty soon, people were asking me to review their films and work on a web site. The rest, as they say, is history.

Overall Rating [7/12]
Female Looks [6/12]
Male Looks [6/12]
Picture Quality [7/12]
Extras [5/12]
Plot Acting [6/12]
Sex [8/12]

Reviews >> Movie Reviews >> Parking Assistance

Parking Assistance
135 Mins.
Bluebird Films
THEMES: Uniforms, Big Tits, Blondes, Cops
STARS: Michelle Thorne, Valery Summer, Ferrah Fox, Tilly Jones, Sheena Smiles, Kaia Kane, Cindy Behr, Chelsea Sax, Chloe Conrad, Stefan Har, Demetri XXX, Jig, Jeff Keane, Jamie Barry, Keni Styles


I don’t know how many of you watch “Parking Wars” but I have always thought that it needs a parody. Something about those parking authority chicks just screams sexual shenanigans. This movie isn’t exactly that, but it is as close as we have in porn. It features a number of women in parking cop scenarios. Those scenes provide great uniform appeal. Other scenes focus on action that has something to do with parking or cars. I like the uniform scenes quite a bit, but there is good variety. The women are pretty good for the most part. There are a couple who won’t turn heads and at least one who seems to fuck like it’s a chore, but overall the heat is good. Michelle Thorne is one busty blonde you won’t easily forget. It is a great combination of uniform appeal and hot sex, making it perhaps the best scene of the movie. Vallery Summer is a very pretty girl who fucks a dude just to settle a dispute over her own parking space. I think the guy wins that one. Cindy Behr robs a dude at gunpoint and then fucks him for good measure. He gets even though, shooting her in the face with his spunk. Chelsea Sax looks the part and gives great uniform appeal, but is a little flat sexually. No such worries from Chloe Conrad. She is cute, ready to fuck and ends the movie on a very high note. Overall this is a mixed bag with mostly good results. There is enough uniform appeal to keep people going. The girls are pretty good and it’s worth a look, especially if you love busty British blondes.

Michelle Thorne & Stean Hard

Things heat up quickly when sexy parking meter officer Michelle Thorne writes up Stefan Hard. He demands to see her manager and they go to the office. With no one there, she asks him to fuck her since everyone hates Parking Officers and she can’t get laid. He agrees and whips her big tits right out so he can have some fun with them. Michelle is a good looking blonde with huge knockers. She leaves her at on as she drops to her knees and starts sucking. Nice uniform appeal here as they move to the couch so he can eat her out. He stands her up against the desk and fucks her from behind. She has fishnets and boots on in addition to her uniform so there is a nice mix of porn and actual clothes play here. She sucks his dick clean and then mounts up to ride in reverse and standard cowgirl. High marks for energy and uniform play here though the quick-cut edit style is a little much. Michelle looks really good with her tits spilling out and provides more than enough energy to make this scene work. She looks up and holds her mouth open to let him fill her face with his spunk. This first scene is a great mix of hot sex and good uniform play.

Vallery Summer & Demetri XXX

A dispute over a parking spot between Demetri and Vallery Summer can only be solved inside with some hot fucking.. In a matter of seconds she has his cock in her mouth and is dangling her big beautiful breasts under her body. He rolls her right over and starts fucking that hot hole. No uniform appeal here, but Vallery’s body is really easy on the eyes and she brings plenty of energy to the table. I really like the shots of her on her on her back with her legs up on his shoulders. The tight shots show off her pink pussy nicely and he is able to pound very deep into that tight slot. He fucks her hard and finally pulls out, spraying his spunk all over her tits and face. I think she gets the parking spot, but he still wins.

Tilly Jones & Jig and Sheena Smiles & Kaia Kane

Tilly Jones works in a garage (wearing coveralls and stripper heels?) and apparently has a horrible sense of space. She tries to help Sheena Smiles and Kaia Kane back their car into a parking spot, but only manages to guide them into a fender bender. The two blondes demand restitution and Tilly’s boss is pretty pissed. As the blondes (Only half dressed for their morning drive) watch as Tilly makes it up to her boss by sucking him off. It’s a little strange to have to attractive blondes serve as window dressing while a rather unappealing girl does all the work, but I suppose there is a reason for that. Tilly mounts up on the couch and rides. Her body is trip and she shows decent enough energy and gets him to blow a load all over her pussy quickly. He is instantly ready for round two though. Sadly he doesn’t turn his attention to the busty babes watching, but keeps fucking Tilly while the prime talent is left on the bench. One good thing about Tilly is how she talks dirty the whole time. He pulls out and sprays down her tits to end the least exciting scene of the bunch so far.

Cindy Behr & Jeff Keane

Sexy Cindy Behr is working the streets and picks up Jeff. She takes him to an alley and pulls a gun on him. It’s a robbery and she is going to take all of his money. That’s not enough for this sexy criminal who forces her victim to strip. She bends him over and spanks him, even beating his ass with her gun. Sucking his cock, she stays in control by pointing the gun at his head. I’m sure this has great appeal to people who love gun play, but I am just glad to see a pretty girl in the action again. Cindy is very pretty and seems quite skilled at sucking dick. She mounts the cock and has the guy spread her ass while she rocks her hips. No gun needed at this point, he’s just happy to be up inside of her sticky twat. Her dirty talk is pretty great as well. He rolls her over and fucks her with barely enough energy to make her tits shake as they pop out of her top. They finish up together with Cindy rubbing her pussy and talking dirty about waning him to cum all over her face. He shocks her with a big load though, sending her back and leaving her wiping the jizz from her eyes.

Chelsea Sax & Jamie Berry

Sexy ticket writer Chelsea Sax is showing a new girl the ropes. She finds an expensive car illegally parked and writes it up. The owner shows up and is pretty pissed off. Taking him to the office, she offers to blow him for the fine money. (I’m not sure they really thought this one out.) The busty blonde drops to her knees, gets the dick wet and slides it between her big tits. She is quite a hot woman who looks great bent over the desk. After a few strokes she greedily spins around to suck him again. Chelsea is a bit of a lazy fuck, but seems to pick up her energy whenever she puts his meat back in her mouth. He manages to fuck her hard to enough to really get his money’s worth. This is a good scene overall. Not the best of the bunch, but Chelsea is easy on the eyes, offers some uniform appeal and takes a load with an open mouth. The guy misses of course and she has to suck it, but give her all the credit for being so willing.

Chloe Conrad & Ken Styles

Pretty drunk chick Chloe Conrad drives down an alley and runs into officer Keni Styles. He orders her out of the car and she stumbles around in her tiny little slut dress. Chloe wants to get out of trouble and knows just how to make him forget all about her infractions. Chloe is cute, nicely built and well versed in the ways of making a man’s dick vanish between her lips. As her clothes slowly come off, Chloe sucks and strokes the cop’s throbbing cock. Lucky for them, there is a mattress in the alley and it’s not totally infested with bugs and vermin. She gets on top of him and rides hard while he holds her cheeks open to give us a perfect view of the fun. They flip over and we get some stunning shots of her beautifully shaved pussy while he bangs then eats it. Her energy is really good as he slams it in from behind. Keni has her get into position and unloads all over her face. This is a very hot scene and ends the action on a high note.

Bonus: Pop Shots, Trailers

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