MOVIE TYPE: Parody
138 Mins.
Hustler/X-Play
DIRECTOR: Will Ryder
THEMES: Massage
CONDOMS: None
2010
STARS: Bree Olson, Dale DaBone, Mike Horner, Aubrey Addams, Danica Dillan, Victoria White, Kim Kennedy, Jack Lawrence, Eric Swiss, Rocco Reed, Chad Diamond,
REVIEW-
For the latest X-Play parody, Will Ryder is combining two connected shows from the 70’s. Back in the day, long before the Terminator came back to wreak havoc, there were two half man/woman half robots who delighted and amused us on TV. Will Ryder has combined the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman to create another hybrid porn parody. What worked so well with the Bradys Meet the Partridges makes sense here I suppose. Bree Olson plays Jamie Sommers and she is fantastic as always. In fact she is so good that I hope they build a franchise around her. The rest of the cast is pretty good too. As for a script, well there is one. It’s campy and funny at times. The original shows weren’t really funny, but as he did with Charlie’s Angels, Ryder finds a way to turn the silly action into campy comedy. There are some very hot sex scenes and a lot of them. Not all of them are “full†scenes though and that may disappoint some. Bree’s opener has no cumshot, there is a BJ that also doesn’t to completion and a solo scene in there. That pads the stats a bit, but if you look at the quality it’s tough to argue with what we’ve got here. Bree is gorgeous and totally hot in all of her scenes. (Complete and otherwise.) Aubrey Addams adds a really hot scene for those of you need a little variety. The other girls are cute and all of the sex scenes are well shot. I like the mix of POV in with traditional “feature†angles. They heat things up considerably. This is a very solid parody with a few laughs, some strokeable moments and Bree Olson. That should be enough for you to add it to your cart or queue or whatever you’re using these days.
Bree Olson & Rocco Reed
Our movie opens (after the story set up) with Breen squatting on Rocco’s cock while she takes a call. With just a little while to play, she moves quickly to get hers. Bent over she begs in her cute little voice for him to fuck her from behind. The best thing about having Bree play the lead in this movie is that her scenes are always hot. Even this one that ends in moments with no popshot is enough to get the blood pumping.
Bree Olson & Dale DaBone
After having her vacation canceled in favor of a mission, Bree is pouting. Having her ex there doesn’t help. She is kind enough to give him head though. It’s a quick BJ that ends with a strange “bionic†cumshot. Since she is all warmed up, she puts on a show for him. Hot, but short, the solo fun includes some great dirty talk.
Aubrey Addams & Chad Diamond
Dale is supposed to seduce a new recruit, but his bionic cock only works once every twenty four hours. So he uses his hypnotic powers (Huh?) on Aubrey and has her sucking off her doctor’s dong in no time. As always, Aubrey looks amazing on her knees with her mouth stuffed full of cock. Good POV shots give us some eye contact and her hand motions alone should have everyone beating along to the rhythm. She spreads her legs and enjoys this tongue as Chad explores her warm, inviting folds. He puts her up on the table and fucks her pussy while she coos invitingly. I love the ass shots when she turns around and fucks him nice and hard. Aubrey is just super sexy. Watch her ride in reverse cowgirl with her hips grinding in circles to take every inch and tell me you aren’t ready to fall in love. She drops happily to the floor to take a big load all over that pretty face. This is the first full sex scene of the movie and it’s well worth it.
Danica Dillan & Eric Swiss
When Danica and Eric aren’t plotting to take over OSI, they find time for a little love, Iron Curtain style. She drops to her knees, turns her pretty eyes up to the camera and inhales his dick. Danica is a cute babe who does a nice job, but the scene gets interrupted. (Another with no cum shot? What gives?) At least we get a nice bit of product placement.
Kim Kennedy & Eric Swiss
Fellow training Kim saw the other BJ and wants to make sure she does all she can to get a leg up in the program. Since he didn’t get to finish with the first brunette, Eric whips out his cock and lets Kim do her best. She starts on his balls and works her way up. She has good hand action and a pretty face. Love the POV shots used in this movie. (Feature directors should follow Ryder’s lead on this.) In no time at all, she is swallowing a load of cum and sucking his cock clean.
Kim Kennedy & Eric Swiss
Picking up where they left off, Kim and Eric let the others play croquette while they fuck on Bree’s couch. He eats her pussy briefly and then shoves his cock into her pussy. We have already seen her oral skills and now get to enjoy her hot little body. After riding the cock for a while, she sucks it clean and smiles for the camera. This second BJ is even hotter than the first and sets the stage for some really good doggy pounding. She works her hips nicely in reverse cowgirl and gets a big load all over her freshly fucked pussy.
Victoria White & Dale DaBone
Working his way through the recruits, Dale gives Victoria a try. Like all of the recruits she is young, beautiful and able to kick ass. She also spreads her legs at the drop of a hat which is nice. Victoria bobs her head rapidly and then takes long slow strokes to the root. The thin girl mounts up in reverse cowgirl and easily takes the modest member into her shaved slit. I really like her energy as she encourages him to fuck her harder and then takes a nice load right on her face.
Danica Dillan & Jack Lawrence
Dirty cop Jack takes Danica as partial payment in the big scheme. He puts her on the hood of his car and makes a meal of her spread lips. This little Russian spy must taste like caviar because he really roots around down there. She pulls her knees up to her chest and lets him pump hard and deep. Rubbing and slapping her clit while being pounded she proves that evil does come with perks. Great squat fucking on the car and then some nice looking bent over doggy. Jack gives it to her hard until she is ready to spin around and suck it all out like a good girl.
Bree Olson & Rocco Reed
There is only one more potential spy to root out. Bree has to get a closer look at her man’s cock. I don’t know how she could have missed a flag tattoo down there, but we can’t complain about a full Bree Olson sex scene. Finding no such mark on his dick, Bree looks up with lust in her pretty eyes and sucks that dick until it throbs in her fist. She goes into her ultra submissive slut routine as she sucks his cock, drooling all over herself as she does. Great dirty talk as she bends over and has him fuck her pussy with his cock. After sucking her juices off of his dick she declares that her pussy tastes l
ike “fairy dust.†(WTF?) The camera gets in close during the reverse cowgirl, showing us Bree’s precious little pussy while she rocks her hips and impales herself on that dick. Hot talk aside, this scene is visually stunning thanks to Bree’s head to toe hotness. She finishes things off by taking a big load in her mouth. Damn Bree is as close to perfect as I can imagine.
Bonus: BTS, Anti Piracy PSA, Slide Show, Trailers & DVD Intro
