Lauren Phoenix Blows Scottish Director’s Bagpipes

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Roger T. Pipe

It started as a cure for writers block. I was working on some other projects and would come home every night and write in a journal as a warm up. One day, I was reading and found some reviews of porn flicks. I've always loved movies and porn, so I decided to review some tapes form my personal porn collection. I wrote a review, found that I liked it and posted it to asm. The feedback was positive and I just kept writing. I found it a great way to get me started each day, writing about something I enjoyed and pretty soon, people were asking me to review their films and work on a web site. The rest, as they say, is history.

Alright, maybe she doesn’t blow his bagpipes. But Phoenix’s antics with a speculum merit a standing ovation. It’s all part of “Lauren Phoenix’s Fuck Me,” the latest title directed by Gazzman (, also known as the “First Highlander of Porn.” Britain’s Harmony Films produced the flick, just released on DVD and VHS in the US by Evil Angel. John “Buttman” Stagliano calls it “Harmony’s hardest sex release yet.” See the trailer to find out why.

In this latest title in Harmony’s “Fuck Me” series, Phoenix proves herself another ideal headliner for Gazzman’s brand of Old-World-meets-New, balls-to-the-wall hardcore. Whether she’s taking a DP that would turn a lesser ho into Swiss cheese, or presenting a scene featuring any of this flick’s eleven hot chicks, Phoenix leaves no doubt why she’s AVN’s reigning Female Performer of the Year. This golden-haired man-eating vixen opens the movie with a tease: “Today I’m going to show you some of the nasty things I’ve been thinking of. But first, there’s nothing like a big hard dick in my ass. Oooh… I love to get fucked in my ass. Especially when you’re watching.” Then she walks the walk, cramming her every orifice with two cocksmen. In what appears to be an industry first, she presents each scene as she’s being fucked in the ass.

After Phoenix turns them into roadkill, we watch as she gets pillaged in her pucker hole by a speculum. “Makes my pussy wet having my ass stretched open like that,” she teases, priming us for more speculum shenanigans in a helicopter hangar with gorgeous greasemonkeys Jayna Oso and Haley Paige, decked out in jumpsuits.

Gazzman spares no expense gathering a throng of top sluts and studs for a blistering Fellini-like orgy in Kylie Ireland’s huge converted loft, the Fallout Shelter. Among the movie’s other ass-gaping nymphos are Ireland, Ariana Jollee, Melissa Lauren, Taylor Rain, and Roxy Jezel. DVD extras include an interview with Phoenix; outtakes; “dirty talk” from Phoenix; and a bonus scene.

About Gazzman

Gazzman’s known for shepherding super-sluts to exotic locales and filming them getting reamed in every nook and cranny. Among his awards are AVN’s Best Foreign Director and Best Foreign Feature for Private’s “Scottish Loveknot,” a sizzling Triple-X tribute to “Braveheart” filmed in a 13th-century castle that once belonged to the mainstream epic’s real-life hero, Sir William Wallace.

Gazzman currently heads film production for the UK’s leading film studio, Harmony Films. “Features are great, but nothing beats shooting a bunch of hot, nasty girls in balls-to-the-wall hardcore,” Gazzman says of his work for Harmony. “It’s fun to produce, and even more exciting to watch.” The “Fuck Me” series exemplifies Gazzman’s nut-busting approach to hardcore.
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