Xcalibur: The Lords of Sex 2

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Roger T. Pipe

It started as a cure for writers block. I was working on some other projects and would come home every night and write in a journal as a warm up. One day, I was reading alt.sex.movies and found some reviews of porn flicks. I've always loved movies and porn, so I decided to review some tapes form my personal porn collection. I wrote a review, found that I liked it and posted it to asm. The feedback was positive and I just kept writing. I found it a great way to get me started each day, writing about something I enjoyed and pretty soon, people were asking me to review their films and work on a web site. The rest, as they say, is history.

Overall Rating [9/12]
Female Looks [11/12]
Male Looks [8/12]
Picture Quality [8/12]
Extras [6/12]
Plot Acting [6/12]
Sex [9/12]

Reviews >> Movie Reviews >> Xcalibur: The Lords of Sex 2

Xcalibur: The Lords of Sex 2



179 Mins.

Woodman Entertainment

DIRECTOR: Daniel Dakota


CONDOMS: Some Noted



STARS: Caylian Curtis, Alain Deloin, Boroka Balls, Reda Semlahen, Kety Bleins, Mickael Gherito, Theodora Ferrari, James Brossman, Silvia Saint, Lauro Giotto, Roxanne Lane, Joe Monti, Aniko Stark, Martin Gunn, Rosses Silver, Cage, Julia Bright, Karoy Lornel, Lilly Ramon, Steve Jack, Zafira Blunchen, Boby Duroc, Charlie Parker, David Choukroun, Vanessa


Thank you Pierre Woodman. Not only is he back with his second Xcalibur movie, but he gives us a recap of the first film at the start of this one. It brings us up to speed in a matter of moments. We can be sure that we are in for a lot of the same in part two. A lot of hot girls, a lot of anal sex and a lot of fantasy value. There will also be a lot of clever plot points that give us excuses to watch incredibly well groomed people have sex anywhere and everywhere. I guess we just have to forget that King Arthur probably didn’t get to fuck chicks with shaved pussies. I think we can forgive Woodman for breaking with realism here. I have a feeling that we wouldn’t want to see things the way they really were. The cast ID’s are a little shaky here, but most of the girls are listed and pictured on the back of the box. The names don’t always match the credits, but I’ll do the best that I can. Their names matter less than the fact that they are all hot and all ready to rock us through another Woodman epic.

Wasting no time in part two, we open with a skinny blonde being railed in a stall filled with hay. She gets tossed around pretty hard and fucked from behind like they are in a hurry. No rushed sex here though. He takes his time and makes sure that all of her holes are stuffed. I guess if you’re going to go for anal in a time when there isn’t running water, then you should probably do it outside in the hay. This is a nice little fuck that sets up the guy to be in the right place at the right time.

With the help of his beautiful sister, the villager alerts the King that his fiancé has been murdered and that an assassin has taken her place. The villager is rewarded, gives some of the money to his sister who heads for the tavern and is molested by a rude drunk guy. The woman who owns the bar kicks everyone out and teaches two of the rude guys a lesson by showing how they should treat women. (Now I understand why some people love couch porn. It’s just so much easier.) Apparently they learn quickly because the bar owner is howling and double stuffed before you can order another pint of ale. In stunning porn fashion this young woman is nicely shaved and ready for some anal. They DP her and leave her face all sticky. Quite the typical Woodman scene and we all love those.

Moving quickly we get to see the spoils of royalty. Apparently two girls drawing a bath means hot sex in this world. The girls double up on him and give us another scene that may not have much to do with the plot, but sure looks good. The pretty brunette takes it from behind and then her blonde friend goes in for RCA. Her friend also does anal so we get to see quite a bit of backdoor action before they get down to share a load of ball batter.

The girls who left the tavern hook up for a three way lez-fest that is worth watching. The gorgeous blonde is all you need to make a great scene. With two pretty blondes along for the ride, things look great from the start. They have sex toys to take the place of boys so the girls have plenty of fun. The anal action here is especially hot. I just hope we see more from the blonde before this movie is over.

Back to the heart of our story. The lesbian queen, Boroka Balls, needs an heir so she calls for two masked studs to do the deed. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it. She is a kind mistress, sucking both cocks to help get them hard. They each take an end, enjoying her mouth and her pussy at the same time. The dubbed dialog is pretty funny and includes this gem. “You would be good to fertilize me.” Hot damn, someone pass me the flowers and candy. That’s so damn romantic. For a lesbian, this babe sure rides cock like a champ. In the heat of the moment they go for some DP. Either the queen is so caught up in a storm of lust that she just has to have her stool punched or someone has horribly misinformed her on the basics of human reproduction. I guess this a dry run because she ends up with cum all over her face instead of inside of her.

The captured assassin, Theodora, works her charms on her guard. He isn’t about to turn her down when she offers to blow him. She sucks him hard and then mounts him, showing off her cute little ass and providing a good deal of sexual energy. They get serious about their fucking when she is on top. He slams up into her and their bodies slap like they may never stop. Theodora’s energy is great and her body isn’t half bad either. He ends up shooting a big load on her face and putting her right back into the cage. So much for an escape plan.

Thanks to a magic potion, an unsuspecting wife gives herself to a man who wants to lay claim to the throne. She thinks he’s her husband so I guess that makes it all right when she jumps his bones the second he comes home. She finds a way under his armor and starts sucking his dick. It’s an odd scene, but kind of hot and ends with an internal shot. At least they stuck with the theme there.

While the wizard’s potion is working, he takes a turn with his muse in a cave. Like the other girls in this movie, Zafira is beautiful, natural and ready to fuck. She sucks his wand until it is ready to penetrate her tight folds. Then she takes a hard on in reverse cowgirl. Eventually the move to anal and she proves to be just as good with her back door as she was with her front. The doggy is great and she takes the load all over her pretty face.

I actually missed the next scene due to a scratch on my disc. So I missed a scene and a couple of births that seem relevant to the story. It did come back in time for me to watch Caylain Curtis get it on with Silvia Saint. It is great to see these two beautiful women get naked, but having them both only do girls is maddening. There is a brief moment of hope when the wizard pops by, but he only leaves them with glass dildos to help pass the time. The toy play here is fantastic, but it’s the eye candy that makes it work. Silvia is as beautiful as ever and her blonde partner is simply stunning. Normally I would say that a lesbian scene at the end of a movie is a bad idea, but it works her. More Silvia in part three please.

Disc two gives us trailers, a photo gallery and an extensive BTS.

Most middle chapters end on a down note. Not this one. Unless you count watching Silvia Saint not fucking a dude as a down note. If you managed to miss the first chapter of Xcalibur, Woodman brings us up to date and you can enjoy this just fine. The action flows really well from scene to scene with just enough story to make things interesting. The women are good looking and they do anything you could ever want. There are a few stand outs, including Caylain who is really stunning. We get to see Silvia show off her perfect body in the closing scene. There is more than enough great action, fun costumes and story to make me anxious for part three. During Woodman’s amazing career, some of his best work has come from trilogies. Xcalibur is the latest in this long line of sexual blockbusters from a master.


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