Insane Asian Invasion
MOVIE TYPE: All Sex
120 Mins.
Xotica
www.DirectDVDPlatinum.com
DIRECTOR:
THEMES: Asian Girls
CONDOMS: Yes
2006
3/06
STARS: Yukiko
REVIEW-
I’ve tried to review of few of these Asian import DVDs from the Xotica team, but they never seem to work on my player. This one actually does so, yippee. I may regret trying so hard, but then again I might be thrilled. I’m such a huge fan of Asian women and have found some of the Japanese import DVDs to be really cool. For all the problems we get with some of this stuff, there is nothing quite like the wonderfully twisted world of Asian porn. On the other hand, when it goes wrong it can go horribly wrong.
We start right out with Yukiko getting undressed for a very enthusiastic guy. The way he is practically drool one might think that she was the hottest girl in the country. In truth she’s a rather average looking girl with no tits, a hairy slit and a love for vibrating toys in her pink folds. As she pleasures herself, the guy starts sucking on her nipples until they perk right up. Her pussy gets wet as he works his way through the thick forest of hair to suck her lips. She returns the favor by slowly working her lips over his throbbing member. (All three inches or so.) Somehow she finds her way through his own thick pubic hedge to find his balls. They really don’t have any chemistry together and create about as much energy as the windmill at the local put-put golf course. He manages to haul off and give her the full three inch stroke and she closes her eyes and does the “hurts like crazy” act that we see from so many of the Japanese porn chicks. I don’t know which is worse, no energy or great big fake energy. He puts her out of her misery by shooting all over her belly.
After a quick round in the shower she is back for more. She starts out dressed, strips down to her bra and panties and lets the guy take it from there. If you like close up shots of pussy then there are a few of those before he dives in and blocks her with his head. They get her to squirt a bit and then she turns her attention to his nipples. With slightly more energy than she showed in the first scene, Yukiko puts his dick into her mouth. It isn’t a great blowjob, but it’s better than the attempted POV cowgirl that we get next. The guy being fucked can’t hold the camera steady and can’t decide what he wants to shoot. This looks like a badly done home movie now. I don’t think there is anyone else there to shoot because the next several minutes are captured by a poorly placed camera off to the side of the mattress. It gives us mish and then focuses on her face while he is presumably fucking her from behind. There is some clever use of a mirror in the room, but this is such a poorly shot scene overall that I don’t see how anyone is going to enjoy it. He pulls out and shoots onto her, but really who cares?
I’m pretty sure we switched girls for the next scene. This one has teeth that seem more crooked and a pussy that isn’t as dark. The rest is the same though with some extreme close up footage of her playing with her pussy and decent enough energy during the toy segment of the action. In comes the guy for some kissing, tit sucking and a bit of overwrought moaning that probably wouldn’t fool a drunk college kid on his first trip to a TJ whorehouse. Spreading out on the bed, she lies on top of him and takes his dick into her mouth. (Careful not to get shredded in there.) I would like to be able to say that this is better BJ footage than before, but that would be a huge lie. There is actually some decent looking fucking here, but the guy can’t hold his nut for more than a few strokes so it becomes a rapidly-cut mess ending in a nice sticky shot across her face.
Now we get two chicks who are desperate for dick. They claw at the two guys who come into the room. We get some decent blowjob footage from one of the girls who looks a little bit like early 90’s Asian hottie Keanna. (Of Max Hardcore fame.) This footage ends way too quickly as the couples do some side by side doggy fucking. The fucking is pretty frantic this time around and if the whole movie was this good I would feel differently about it. We still have to put up with some silly squealing. I swear you would think that the dudes were killing these girls with their dicks.
There is another shower scene and quick fuck that almost feels like an afterthought. It’s tightly shot and rather uninteresting. The rest of the disc features a popshot recap.
I wouldn’t say that this is a very good flick on any level. The camerawork is amateurish to the point of being distracting. Come on guys, this isn’t brain surgery. We get the usual crop of bad male performers as well. It’s bad enough to have to sit through a bunch of geeky dudes with pubes longer than their dicks, but when they look bored at the same time, that is the kiss of death. The women are usually the strength of these movies and they are moderately attractive at best. Their energy levels jump from zero to “kill me” in nanoseconds and when you combine that with the fact that they aren’t smoking hot and we have a complete train wreck. I still love this genre, but this is a bad example of why.
