Love My Wife, Please

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Roger T. Pipe

It started as a cure for writers block. I was working on some other projects and would come home every night and write in a journal as a warm up. One day, I was reading alt.sex.movies and found some reviews of porn flicks. I've always loved movies and porn, so I decided to review some tapes form my personal porn collection. I wrote a review, found that I liked it and posted it to asm. The feedback was positive and I just kept writing. I found it a great way to get me started each day, writing about something I enjoyed and pretty soon, people were asking me to review their films and work on a web site. The rest, as they say, is history.

Overall Rating [6/12]
★★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆
Female Looks [0/12]
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Male Looks [0/12]
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Picture Quality [0/12]
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Extras [0/12]
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Sex [0/12]
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Reviews >> Movie Reviews >> Love My Wife, Please

LOVE MY WIFE, PLEASE
Check out Kick Ass!

www.KickAss.com

OVERALL RATING: 3-
81 Mins.
DIRECTOR: Thomas Paine
Legend
THEMES: Cheating.
1999
STARS: Shelby Myne, Raylene, Lexi Erickson, Randee Lee, Alec Metro and Steve Hatcher.
REVIEW:
Does anyone remember when all porn videos used to have something that resemebled a plot? In days before gonzo, wall to wall and whatever the hell they call tapes that can’t be classified, seemingly every video on the shelf had some sort of story to follow? Now, before you start thinking this is me, lamenting the loss of the ‘good old days’, I’m not saying I liked those movies better. In fact, most of the stories sucked and the acting was hideous. However, they did help to bring us the time honored cliches about plumbers, coeds, housewives and farmer’s daughters. These days, most of what I see makes no effort to tell a story, even a bad one, and once in a while I find myself hoping the hottie on the box will actually try playing a charcter while she fucks and sucks. Since Thomas Paine took the time to credit himself as writer/director on this project, perhaps I will get to see one of the women from this cast, Raylene, Lexi or Sheby perhaps, doing their part to make sure Vivid doesn’t corner the market on scripted porn.
We open as Alec Metro types away on his laptop in bed. In the bathroom, the lovely Lexi Erickson gets out of the shower, wraps a towel around her body and puts a collar around her neck. She starts kissing and licking his toes, making her way up his legs while offering to be his slave. You see, Alec is about to leave for some reason and Lexi wants to make sure he knows just how lucky he is. (As if having your dick sucked by someone as fucking gorgeous as Lexi weren’t enough.) Hearing her talk a bit as she sucks his cock only makes things hotter and she gets major credit here for making it seem like all she wants to do is worship Alec’s cock with her sweet, slutty mouth. Lexi stays submissive, burying her head in the pillow and leaving her ass exposed as Alec goes licking about her puss and butt. My God, even Lexi’s pussy is gorgeous. Laying on his back, Alec positions his little slave over his cock and has her bounce up and down on it. Luckily, Lexi is not one of those Vivid type pretty girls who looks great, but fucks like a bored stiff heroin skank. In fact, Lexi seems to like it when Alec fucks her hard. (Notes- Her shoes stay on, so does the collar and Alec does wear a condom.) Good, hard fuck that leads to a shot up her belly and onto her tits.
Alec takes off for a meeting with Ron Jeremy, and not seconds after telling him that he would never cheat on his wife, Alec comes face to face with Raylene and seems dumbfounded. As soon as Ron leaves the room, he jumps on her. A case of sexual harrassment? Some fucked up role playing? We really don’t have time to worry about that as they tear each other’s clothes off in a lust-filled frenzy. We really all have to feel sad knowing that Raylene has taken the Vivid road to medicority, especially after watching how she actually sucks Alec’s cock here. This woman is super fine and was a totally hot piece of ass. For the second time in as many scenes, Alec spends a lot of time licking pussy, something I happen to enjoy to a point, but goes on a tad long here with nothing but her back in our view. (And Jeez, that tat is fucking hideous. Why?) All that labe lapping pays off, as Raylene spreads her thighs and delights in the strokes as Alec slams his full weight down into her sweet hole. This is a really nice coupling if you like flexible girls who get fucked with their legs pinned way back. (And who doesn’t?) Good, high energy fucking that again ends with a shot on the tits of the female performer.
The fun is just beginning for Alec as Raylene rushes him home to a three way with her girlfriend Shelby Myne. Damn, another good looking woman with a big ass tat across her back. Did someone say moratorium? It’s really distracting when all I can see is ink. Watching the same couple fuck in two consecutive scenes is a bit redundant, even with another woman there fingering her pussy through most of the action. Not that I mind watching Raylene fuck, she still looks good and Alec gives her everything he’s got. Even the cumshot is the same though.(Not the same shot looped, just a matching on the tits shot)
Before we go feeling sorry for faithful little Lexi, chck this out, she is busy in a three way of her own with Steve Hatcher and Randee Lee. Randee has a big ass on her but she sure moves it well. Lexi pulls his cock out a few times and tastes the brunette’s juices, apparently liking the flavor. Lexi is ten times prettier and thankfully, every bit as eager to fuck Steve the Lizard Boy. Have to give the boy credit he manages to keep his tongue and fingers busy so that both women seem plenty happy with his cocksmanship. A somewhat above average scene ends with a facial, but it’s shot from a terrible angle, pretty much eliminating anything sexy that might have otherwise been there.
I think somewhere along the line, we lost the story because what happens next is a cut right to Alec and Lexi in bed. Not that I mind watching Lexi again, but what exactly is the idea of having one guy fuck two women twice in the same movie? How do I describe the same scene twice? Essentially, this scene is just like the first, minus the dog collar. Good doggy, good mish and another on the belly shot that may have accidentially got a drop on her chin.
OK, so we started off well, with hot scenes from Lexi and Raylene, then something happened. We got repeats of the Lexi scene and basically a re-do of the Raylene scene. I guess if you really like Lexi Erickson, seeing her in three scenes has to be worth something, and if your lady happens to dig Alec Metro, he’s in four of the five. Lexi and Raylene look great and they fuck with some enthusiasm, however, the popshots are all quite Vivid-like, there is no anal and if this is supposed to be a story-porn, it fails miserably. I’ll give it points for Lexi and Raylene, but Sheby Myne and Randee Lee are wasted and there just is not enough for me to recommend here.

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