The Adventures of Seymore Butts

Factory Home Video, 1992

Director: Seymore Butts

Stars: Bianca Trump, Caroline Monroe, Angela Summers, Lynn LeMay, Tianna Taylor, Mona Lisa, T.T. Boy, Sean Michaels, Chick Martino

Overall Rating: 7+

Let’s travel back in time four years. To a time when Seymore Butts was an unknown. Before there was any category in AVN called Gonzo. Before Shane. Before there was a need for cheap spin offs (You know who I’m talking about) Back when a simple man, walked down the street and found a perfectly good video camera lying in the trash can. My friends, in this simple moment lies the seeds of porn history. The birth of Seymore Butts! OK, OK, fanatical praise aside, it is hard to believe that Seymore has been kicking ass and taking names in his videos for four years now. This first volume of his adventures is well worth checking out.

I’ve got to say, right off the bat, that the video quality in Seymore vids has gone way up since this first one. However, not much else has changed. From the opening sequence, Seymore has a charisma that is undenyable. As he and Cousin Phil (Chuck Martino) cruise the streets, paying homage to “That Buttman guy”, there is something fresh, funny and infinitely watchable about this quirky guy. Moments after hitting the streets, Seymore runs across a young lady, Bianca Trump, who needs a favor. It seems that Bianca’s husband left her for a Kurdish hooker, and she wants to get even. Happy to assist, Seymore tapes the busty brunette in the back of a moving van as she strips down and goes wild on herself with a dildo.

Not satisfied with a battery powered lover, Bianca begs her new friends to stop the van and join the fun. Faster than Ted Kennedy going for all you can eat buffalo wings at happy hour, Martino dives in for a taste of Bianca. What ensues is, quite honestly, a brief and average at best, sex scene between the two. Still, the location is nice and hot, and is just a small glimpse at things to come.

As Seymore and Phil wander around a nursery, searching for some customer service. What they find instead is a very rattled Angela Summers who can’t get rid of them fast enough. Upon returning for a card, Seymore discovers just why the scatterbrained clerk was in such a rush. You see, the lusious Ms. Summers has busy having her incredible pussy sucked by Lynn LeMay. Having Ms. LeMay’s oral attentions interrupted might make me a little edgy as well.

Once caught, the sexy duo are only to happy to let the boys join in. I ask you this. Has there ever been a woman any cuter than Angela Summers? I think not. Lucky devil that he is, cousin Phil steps to the plate, only to have his cock double sucked by the two blonde babes. This however, is too brief, a wasted opportunity to show Ms. Summers and her sexy lips wrapped around a cock. Bad form indeed. Oh well, chalk it up to a rookie mistake. At least he makes up for it somewhat by having LeMay don a strap on while giving it to her gorgeous partner doggie while she does a fine suck job on Chuck. The ever beautiful Angela sucks cock with so much enthusiasm and so much appeal, that the sight alone is worth the price of this tape. Returning to the scene of his former blunder, Seymore has both girls give a hot double BJ before Chuck finally gets to fuck Angela from behind with her girlfriend there to shout encouragement. Overcome by lust, and the sight of Seymore’s hard on, Angela moves in close while Lynn has taken over the being porked duties. This close up suck scene, would later become a hallmark in the Seymore series, but version one with Angela’s delectable mug staring right into the lens with a throbbing cock deep in her mouth is one for the ages. With all that promise however, the pop shots disappoint, with Chuck’s splattering Lynn’s stomach and Seymore spraying LeMay’s pendulous breast. (With drops hanging tantalizing over Angela’s face)

Out to do his good deed, Seymore next chases away a peeping Tom from outside an apartment window. Ever the curious cat, Butts goes in for a closer look. On the other side of the window is something very much worth watching, Caroline Monroe. So grateful is Monroe for Seymore’s help, that she invites him in. The party going on inside the apartment is well worth the effort. Marc Wallace and T.T. Boy are going to town with Caroline and Tianna Taylor. This is pre implant Tianna, and one can hardly believe that this flat cheated red head is the same woman whose name has become synonymous with overdone breats. As for platinum blonde Caroline, I will still take her in her Candace Hart days any time, but she at least seems interested here, as does the fiery Tianna. The pace of the scene is quick, with the camera never lingering too long on any one shot, which occasionally borders on watching a Spike Lee music video shot while jacked on Jolt cola and Hershey’s kisses, however, Seymore seems to manage to catch the good stuff. In this case, shots of the lovely Monroe being nailed from behind and lots of close ups on smiling faces swallowing cock. Best of all T.T. Boy tit fucks Caroline’s store bought boobies to a dripping facial she accepts with gusto.

Interestingly enough, Seymore encounters an credited Brit on the streets near his house. Seymore vets will recognize this blonde as none other than Shane gal pal Yvonne. Although Seymore is unable to convince her to come upstairs for a private audition, it is still kind of interesting to see Yvonne before she became a star.

Next up, Seymore goes to visit his buddy Nick, who has set up a little casting session with two want to be actresses. The two girls are none other than Alex Jordan and a brunette who I did not recognize. These two ladies go after Nick in a big way, competing for his attentions and sharing his cock in a scalding double suck session that ends in enough cream to cover both of their lovely faces.

We skip forward to Yvonne, looking stunning in red bra and panty set, doing a show for Seymore, that nearly melts the lens of his new camera. There are plenty of long, adoring shots of Yvonne’s tight, firm body as she strips down, writhes beneath her own touch, exploring her holes with first her finger, then with a good sized dildo. As solo female scenes go, this one is way up there on the scale. Seymore steps in for the icing on the cake, jerking himself onto Yvonne’s shaved pussy just in time for the alarm to go off and let us know it was all a dream.

The new day does not slow down Seymore’s good fortune, as he runs into Sean Michaels in the street. Seems Sean has a shy girlfriend who he wants to capture on video. The trick is doing it without her knowing. (Disclaimer here folks. Do not try this at home, women tend NOT to like it, and is could land you in the pokey) It does make for a very interesting camera angle however, as Seymore captures the lovely Mona Lisa through an overhead skylight. Mona shaves her pussy under the warm spray in preparation for Sean’s entrance. Seymore’s cover is blown at the same time Sean is being blown, and guess what? She doesn’t mind a bit. (Natch.)

The shower sex scene is incredibly sexy, with Mona sucking Sean’s monster black cock like a vacuum before defying the laws of spacial science, getting into some great positions in the small space. Mona even takes Sean’s lengthy rod up her ass in a very hot standing anal session. At last, Mona gets a sperm shower, ending their scene and this tape in fine fashion. (And just who IS the mystery woman in the final dream sequence?)

Now, Seymore videos get much better than this one, no doubt about that. Still, the seeds of greatness are there, man, and they are there big time. The sex is good, with a real spontaneous feel about it. Production value is rather on the low end, as this was a shoestring budget production. Still, Seymore is the man, and as I said, it never hurts go back to ones roots. Angela Summers is the most watchable in a very likable cast of females. Others not to missed are Monroe and Mona Lisa.

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Rog