Private Gold 33: Cuntry Club

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Roger T. Pipe

It started as a cure for writers block. I was working on some other projects and would come home every night and write in a journal as a warm up. One day, I was reading alt.sex.movies and found some reviews of porn flicks. I've always loved movies and porn, so I decided to review some tapes form my personal porn collection. I wrote a review, found that I liked it and posted it to asm. The feedback was positive and I just kept writing. I found it a great way to get me started each day, writing about something I enjoyed and pretty soon, people were asking me to review their films and work on a web site. The rest, as they say, is history.

Overall Rating [21/12]
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Female Looks [0/12]
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Male Looks [0/12]
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Picture Quality [0/12]
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Extras [0/12]
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Sex [0/12]
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Reviews >> Movie Reviews >> Private Gold 33: Cuntry Club

PRIVATE GOLD 33- CUNTRY CLUB

www.Private.com

OVERALL RATING: 8-

96 Mins.

DIRECTOR: Kovi

Private

THEMES: Euro-Babes, Outdoor Sex.

CONDOMS:

1999 (11/98)

STARS: April, Frank Major, Estell, John Walton, Judi Bella, Nicole, Jules, Chrissy, Valentino, Nick Lang, Grety, Ursula, Cyndy.

REVIEW:

There are a few things in life you can count on. Taxes will always be too high. Music was always better when you were young. Shoelaces will always break when you’re on your way out the door. Jean Claude Van Damme movies will always suck. What does that have to do with porn? Oh yeah, thinks you can count on. You know a Private Gold movie is going to feature some incredible looking women having some ball busting sex, probably outdoors. Normally, you can also count on the same female voice, translating entire scenes spoken in French into single sentence synopsis for we mono-linguistic Americans. This time the performers actually do their best to make it through the script in English.

From the tightly edited title sequence, filled with X-Games looking sports clips, we cut to an exclusive sports club where three guys anxiously await the arrival of a new girl. While they prepare their libidos, a private archery lesson quickly becomes an outdoor two on one fuck between some Euro guy, Valentino and a short haired blonde. Although she isn’t nearly as good looking as most of the other Private women, teaming her with a human lizard like Val seems almost too cruel. Marginal face and bad skin aside, this woman has some nice nipples and she takes two cocks in her like she DPs for breakfast. A little double pussy action as well for those of you who like to get really close to your friends. (I love my bros and all, but rubbing dicks inside the same chick? Just a little to Marilyn Manson for me.) They finish the scene by jerking big loads onto her ass. Usually, I like facials, but this time, the shot ends up on her best side.

When the new girl arrives, the top chick, Rachel, tries to befriend her right away. Another sort of female bonding is going on in the weight room. As two women work out with weights, they ponder Rachel’s future now that the guys are paying more attention to Vickie. It’s a short conversation, because they would much rather make out than contemplate the future of the red headed top bitch. These girls are OK looking, but they really don’t seem to be that into each other. They do share an interesting dildo. It’s clear and filled with a thick, cum-like substance that they drip out into their mouths. When it’s half drained, they fuck each other with it and lick it clean. Nothing like a little pussy flavored dildo-cicle to make a girl’s day.

Rachel must feel really threatened, because she fucks with some mountain climbing equipment. Her plan backfires and nearly kills the guy they’re climbing with. He must have a pulled groin, because that’s the area the girls’ concentrate on. Their touch has him feeling better in no time. So good, in fact that his cock is too big for Rachel to swallow. Her new friend is jealous and can only rub her pussy as Rachel works on that monster rod. No slouch herself, the new girl shows she can work fat cock in her tiny hands as well. These women are the caliber we are used to from Private in both looks and sexual enthusiasm. For someone who was afraid of her new rival, Rachel sure doesn’t mind pulling this guy’s prick from her pussy and sucking it clean. Twist my arm and force me to choose and I’ll take blonde Vickie, but if it’s all the same to you, I think this guy has it made. A bit of both women is quite the slice of sexual Heaven. After fucking them both, he jerks his big cock off between their mouths, giving them a big load to share in a nice cumswapping kiss.

The guys are all so hot for Vickie, they actually draw matches to see who gets to go racing with her. The winner takes a spin around a dirt track against the super hot blonde, but there is no champagne in the winner’s circle. Instead, he gets a taste of her sweet little ass. Literally, he sticks his tongue in her ass and roots around for a while. With no one to share, the blonde greedily sucks down this dude’s dick with utter delight. It may have taken us a little while to get to the good stuff in this movie, but watching this cute fuckbunny at work is well worth the wait. If I knew a lovely fuck in the bright sunshine were waiting for me, I might even take up racing. Bending her over the front of his car, he slams her tight ass, filling it with cock and relentlessly slamming her colon until he is ready to shower her with semen. His aim could be better, but brother fires enough goo to make her look like she just ate a glazed donut from the inside out.

After a hard day of jet skiing, three guys find a fun way to wind down. They gang bang a blonde on the beach. This short haired blonde has a pair of tits so beautiful we may have to erect a shrine to them. (I’m sure enough ‘shrines’ will erect themselves.) She moves from cock to cock in rapid succession, keeping all three guys happy and warming them up to fuck her tight holes. The first guy goes right for her pretty little ass as the other two share her mouth. When this becomes to crowded, one of them take her pussy, making sure that the cute little thing has all her holes plugged. Outstanding action her, and very well shot as well. The DP lasts for a long time, so no one is going to feel cheated watching this cute blonde get fucked raw in every orifice. There is plenty of cum stored up in this trip of sacks and every drop ends up on her pretty face. Beautiful facial here.

The whole club shows up on the beach the next day for some fun on the water, but Rachel has evil intentions. She fucks with one of the jet skis, hoping to do away with her rival once again. While they are out riding, the tall and tempting, but virginal April final decides she wants to have her cherry popped. Nothing like a busty virgin who sucks cock like a high priced whore to brighten your day. The pace on this scene is a little quick for me. We rush through a blowjob, some pussy sucking and a very attractive spoon in less than five minutes. Of course what we’re rushing to is April dropping her ass down on his cock to have that hole de-virginized as well. Nothing like tall, nicely endowed, hot looking virgins who love to be butt fucked. (Nothing like them in real life at least.) Probably not wanting to get pregnant, she takes a thick load of cock cream on her face. Welcome to the world of the sexually active April.

Rachel’s plan nearly works as Vickie suffers a serious fall. However, her diabolical plan is uncovered and the club banishes the redhead. (What’s wrong with a good old gang bang to make her pay?) Instead, they all get together for a final orgy. Too much going on for my taste, but we get a final look at some of the hotties from this cast. One thing though. Can you believe that Val actually looks worse with his hair down? Dude could be a Dick Tracy villain with a grille like that. Still, he ends up fucking blonde Vickie, working nimbly around her cast. The busty blonde does a nice job taking two guys and showing off that incredible rack once again. DPs and facials galore in this final round of fucking.

Things get off to a really slow start in the movie, but once bitchy Rachel and super hot Vickie take over, things more than right themselves. These two alone are worth the price of admission. The second blonde and the virgin, April are also worth watching. The plot is actually pretty interesting, but gets bogged down with some really labored performances. (Not really the fault of the performers who struggle with English.) Nice outdoor scenes as always, so you might be able to sneak this one in with the wife. (Just don’t make her watch Valentino, that guy might scare the libido right off of her.) For pure stroke value, skip the first two scenes, gear up for the middle four and then skip the final orgy.

www.Private.com

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